


Follow The Tide

by Pixelatrix



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Mild Kink, Oral Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 06:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 54,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Weapons, infiltration, field medicine, seducing officers of the male variety.” He counted them off on the fingers of one hand. “I’m particularly skilled on that last one.”</p><p>Story follows a relationship between a male Shepard and Admiral Hackett. The story starts just before Shepard joins the Normandy and will probably got through beyond the Reaper War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace

Admiral Hackett sat at his desk reading through the dossier that had been forwarded to him on Commander Dillan Shepard.  The Lieutenant’s name had been put up for Spectre and Hackett had been asked to give him an evaluation beforehand.  They didn’t want anything unpleasant uncovered by the Council.  He’d met the young officer a few times, though not on Elysium when they were supposed to.

He shook his head with a laugh at the memory.  Shepard had the rest of his squad had been sleeping off hangovers in the brig the morning that he was supposed to give the man an award in recognition of the Blitz. The Major in charge of the Spec Ops Team Delta had informed him in the middle of the ceremony that the Lieutenant wouldn’t be there.

Skimming through the brief history in the files, he was surprised to find that Shepard had not only graduated top of his class at the Academy, but he’d also ranked highest in both his sniper school class. He’d also passed his search and rescue training with high praise.  The Lieutenant appeared to have been handpicked by Major Jamieson who was currently the squad leader for Team Delta.

The Lieutenant’s family was more familiar to him.  He’d met Major Neil Shepard a few times when he’d been a drill instructor.  Neil was a bully of a man that he couldn’t imagine was all that pleasant of a father.  Hannah was his polar opposite. 

Hackett had known Hannah for several years before she married.  He hadn’t been all that surprised when the couple had divorced.  Neil had died in an accident during a training mission on Mars a year or so back. Neither Hannah nor her son had been at the funeral. 

The rest of the documents in the files included recommendations from his former commanding officers and squad mates.  It included a list of the successful missions that he’d taken part of or led during his assignment under Jamieson. The only negative in the Commander’s file appeared to be his affinity for blatantly breaking the regs when it came to dating fellow officers. He also appeared to have had a slight breakdown after a friend died on Akuze.

His career after achieving his N7 designation had gone impressively well.  He’d risen up the ranks and was a well-liked and respected member of Team Delta.  Jamieson had wanted to have Shepard replace him as squad leader when he retired in a few months.

He had moved on to writing down a few questions when his door buzzed and his yeoman ushered in the man in question.  Shepard had apparently not thought at least fatigues were necessary when meeting with an Admiral.  He’d worn a t-shirt that clung to his upper body in ways that Hackett thought it wise not to dwell on.  He had jeans on that were equally fitting in certain places and scuffed up black boots.

“Did you _lose_ your uniform, Commander?” Hackett stood up to greet Shepard and acknowledged the salute the younger man offered.

“Laundry day.” His blue eyes were a shade darker than the denim that he wore and twinkled with humor that Hackett thought might be at his expense. “Major Jamieson told me to report to you when I arrived on Arcturus.”

“Take a seat, Shepard.” Hackett sat back down and gestured towards one of the two seats on the other side of his desk.

Shepard sat across from him with what appeared to be a permanent smile that depending on the tilt of his head changed from flirtatious to a smirk. “What can I do for the admiralty?”

“You’re being transferred to the position of XO on the _Normandy_ under Captain Anderson.  I’ve just got a few questions for you.” Hackett decided to start with the tougher questions. “Why weren’t you at your father’s funeral?”

The amusement drained immediately away from the Commander’s face.  A muscle in his jaw ticked while he met Hackett’s gaze without flinching.  Hackett wondered briefly if he was simply going to stare him down and refuse to answer.  After a tense silence, Shepard shook his head and rubbed his hand across the short stubble that covered his jaw.

“Did you ever have the _pleasure_ of meeting him?” Shepard asked. He waved his hand to stop Hackett from answering. “Don’t answer that, it’s irrelevant.  My father was an angry son-of-a-bitch.  If I’d gone to his funeral, it would’ve been to spit on his grave.  He raised his hand to my mother once before their divorce, and I broke his jaw for it.  We never spoke again.  And I’d prefer to keep that _out_ of my official records, if you don’t mind.”

Hackett was surprised by the man’s frankness. “I can respect that. You’re notoriously guarded about your personal life, Shepard.  I’m surprised at your openness.”

“My mother speaks very highly of you,” Shepard shrugged.  The serious look disappeared and the flirtatious smirk was back. “And there’s just something very trustworthy about your eyes.”

“My eyes?” Hackett raised an eyebrow and told himself _not_ to flirt back. “I’ll disregard that remark as well. Tell me about Akuze.”

“I wasn’t there.” Shepard leaned back in the chair. The guarded look was back on his face. “Is this a psyche eval, Sir?”

“It _is_ an evaluation.” Hackett had already seen the notes from a previous psyche evaluation attempt.

“Well, it could be worse.” He gave the Admiral a crooked grin. “You’re better looking than the last evaluator that I had to talk to.”

“Akuze?” Hackett had assumed that the relationships that Shepard had been reprimanded for had been with female officers.  From the way that the man was acting, he wondered if he’d assumed incorrectly.

“I lost…a friend.” Shepard glanced down to avoid the Admiral’s gaze for the first time.  With a deep sigh, he looked back up with questioning eyes. “Is this off the record, Sir?”

“It can be.” Hackett didn’t really need to detail their conversation in his report.

“One of the marines who died on Akuze was Lieutenant Mark Doyle.” Shepard hesitated for a brief moment. “We were…involved. It ended rather badly and we hadn’t spoken in years.  He didn’t have any family, and he’d made me his next of kin.  After Akuze, his effects were sent to me. I didn’t handle it well.”

“The files are strangely lacking in details about it.” Hackett glanced down at the report.

“Major Jamieson kept it that way.” He tapped his fingers on his knee. “Mark was a little too…it’s not relevant to this.  I put his _stuff_ into a crate and rigged it to explode.  It was incredibly satisfying.”

“How did Jamieson keep that out of your record?” Hackett asked.

“Training accident gone wrong.” Shepard seemed to find it all very amusing. “Explosives were never my specialty.”

“What would you consider to be your specialty?” Hackett watched the crooked grin on the Commander’s face turn into a full smile.

“Weapons, infiltration, field medicine, seducing officers of the male variety.” He counted them off on the fingers of one hand. “I’m particularly skilled on that last one.”

“Commander.” Hackett’s tone of warning sounded hallow even to his ears.

Shepard tilted his head to the side and he looked at the Admiral with what seemed like renewed interest. “I bet you look as amazing out of that uniform as you do in it.”

“Are you looking to be tossed into the brig, again?” Hackett needed to get a grip…a hold…control of the situation.

“You can’t blame a guy for wanting to test the waters.” He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Besides, you weren’t exactly disagreeing with me, were you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that's interested, this is what Dillan looks like: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/image/58817005776


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and subscribers/bookmarks. I'm oddly nervous about this one.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace

The _Normandy_ wasn’t scheduled to dock on Arcturus for a week.  Dillan spent most of that week getting his gear together.  He’d found that late evening hours were best for working out in the smaller of the gyms set aside for officers.  It was ten at night when he stepped into the gym in a grey t-shirt and shorts.  He was on the weight bench lifting weights when he heard the door slide open.  He set the weights down and sat up to find Hackett in t-shirt and sweat pants.

 _“Admiral.”_ Dillan wiped the sweat from his brow with the bottom of his t-shirt and didn’t bother to hide the way his eyes travelled down and then back up Hackett’s body. 

“Commander.” Hackett appeared to be trying to _not_ look anywhere below Dillan’s eyes.

“Spot me?” He grinned at Hackett as he gestured back towards the weights.

“You didn’t appear to need a spotter when I walked in.” Hackett didn’t seem to buy it.

“You don’t like the idea of my head between your legs?” Dillan knew that he was pushing the boundaries a little. But he knew enough about Hackett to know that he’d tell him to stop if it made him uncomfortable.

“Are you always this…” Hackett struggled to find the right word.

“Charming?” Dillan resumed his position on the weight bench and began lifting.  He was surprised when Hackett did step over to help him with the weights.  He did ten more reps before letting the other man take the weights from him. “Thanks.”

Hackett nodded in response and headed towards one of the treadmills that sat in front of a screen that showed the latest reports from ANN.  Dillan watched the man jog for several minutes.  He loved flirting, it was fun. 

He’d enjoyed relationships with other officers.  The Admiral intrigued him in a way that no one had since the catastrophic disaster that his relationship with Mark had been.  That in itself should’ve made him get up and walk out of the gym and not look back.  He finished his workout and decided to shower in his quarters. 

His hair was still dripping when the front door buzzer went off.  Dillan wrapped a towel around his waist and headed for the door.  He shifted the towel up so it at least covered the crosshairs tattoo over his left pelvic area.  He found Admiral Hackett standing on the other side.

“Admiral?”

“You left this in the gym.” Hackett held up the N7 bag that he’d shoved under the weight bench and obviously forgotten. “Do you normally _bolt_ from a workout so quickly, Shepard?”

Dillan raised an eyebrow in response.

_Was Hackett really standing at his front door teasing him while he stood in a wet towel?_

_Do not get a boner._

_Don’t think about the Admiral naked._

_Shit._

“Shepard?” Hackett’s face might have been carefully blank, but his eyes were dancing with amusement. “What _could you possibly_ be thinking about?”

“Nudity.” Dillan had always believed that honesty was the best policy, when convenient. “Would you like to come in?”

“That would not be _appropriate_.” Hackett shook his head and turned to leave.

Dillan barely managed to pull his hand back from pinching the Admiral’s ass.  The other man’s head glanced back and knowing blue eyes pierced through his. Dillan grinned innocently at him “You have a _good_ night and… _very_ pleasant dreams.”

Stepping back into his quarters, Dillan collapsed on his couch with a groan.  He tossed the towel aside to stroke his cock.  He ran his thumb across the head and then continued gliding his fingers over himself.  He usually masturbated to a vid, but tonight, he found his thoughts turned to the man that had just left.  His imagination provided _all_ of the material that he needed. Dillan used his discarded towel to clean the mess up when he finished.  Hackett should’ve stuck around.  He would’ve had a great show. 

The following evening, Dillan sat in his rattiest jeans and t-shirt while he cleaned and finished modifying his service weapons.  The _Normandy_ had docked a day early.  Captain Anderson expected to see him the next morning.  He’d decided to prep his weapons while he watched a documentary on twenty-first century war strategy. His door buzzed.  Setting the rifle aside, he brushed his hands off on his jeans to head to the door.

“Admiral?” Dillan was genuinely surprised to find Hackett standing with a pizza box in one arm.

“Your mother wanted to know if you were eating enough.” Hackett gave him a tired look.  “She can be _very_ persuasive.”

“Yes, she can.” Dillan rubbed the back of his neck before reaching out to take the pizza. “I was watching a documentary, care to join me? I’ve got beer.”

Hackett seemed about to decline when he shook his head and followed Dillan inside his quarters. “Not watching the game then?”

“No.” Dillan had endured many arguments with his father over his distaste for competitive sports.  His jaw clenched for a moment and he told himself to relax. “I can change it over to the game.”

Hackett shook his head again. “This is infinitely more interesting.”

Minutes later, Dillan had a beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other.  They argued the finer points of urban warfare while they ate.  He sat his bottle of beer aside when he’d finished and stretched back on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table.

“Is your mother trying to dabble in matchmaking?” Hackett turned cool eyes towards him.

Dillan laughed louder than he intended. He leaned forward with his arms resting on his knees as he laughed until tears poured down his cheeks.  He finally managed to gasp out a response. “It wouldn’t be the first damn time.”

“I’ve known your mother for a very long time.  Why would she think that you would be interested in someone like me?” Hackett’s question took Dillan by surprise.

“Because you’re my type,” he shrugged. The way the Admiral had phrased the question told him that he wasn’t the _only_ person in the room who felt the pull of attraction. “What’s _your_ s?”

Hackett stood up and set his beer down. “I am _not_ having this conversation with you.”

“Why? I’m fully clothed and haven’t tried to touch you once.  All things considered, I’ve been on my _best_ behavior.” Dillan gave him a wicked grin. “I could take my shirt off, would that change your mind?”

“No.” Hackett shook his head and muttered something about interfering friends as he left.

“ _Interesting._ ” Dillan took a swig from his bottle of beer. He was going to kill his mother if she’d just ruined his chances.


	3. Chapter 3

The next six months on the _Normandy_ were agonizing.  Dillan hadn’t really bonded with anyone on board the ship yet.  He’d met Anderson before and Doctor Chakwas.  But the rest of the crew were strangers.  He missed his old squad mates.  The only thing that kept him from being completely bored to tears in his down time was that he’d been exchanging emails with Hackett since leaving Arcturus.

He’d seen the Admiral once when the ship had docked on Arcturus to pick something up for the Captain.  They’d had a quick lunch together that mostly involved Hackett ignoring Dillan’s attempts at flirting.  He had briefly considered the fact that maybe the man just wasn’t interested in him, but why then did he continue messaging him…in such a personal fashion?

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Eden Prime_

_Anderson sent me a report on what happened._

_How’s your head?_

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Eden Prime_

_Which one?_

_Couldn’t resist.  I’m fine. It was no worse than any of the many hangovers that I’ve had._

_We’re heading to the Citadel to meet with the Council who I have every confidence will completely ignore us._

_On the plus side, maybe it’ll give me a chance to ask Lieutenant Alenko out for a drink.  He was nice enough to carry me back to the ship._

_Shepard_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Eden Prime_

_Do you really want to be written up… again?_

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: the Regs._

_What’s life without a little risk…or should that be risqué?_

_And why the sudden concern about regs, are you jealous?_

_I don’t know why you would be.  I don’t think I could’ve made my intentions any plainer towards you, and you appear to not be interested.  I’m not sure what my psyche eval says about me, but I’m not the kind to wait around forever for someone to figure out what they want._

_And you don’t seem to want me, though I’m not entirely sure why you keep messaging me.  Alenko seems a little interested, maybe that’s my imagination.  But I’m lonely and I miss the physical contact of another man._

_I’m going to regret sending this the minute that it’s sent. Consider it an anomaly._

_Shepard_

* * *

Dillan had come to several conclusions two day later.  Alenko, while a nice guy and someone that he’d have a beer with anytime, was not someone that he’d sleep with.  He was just too…shy for lack of a better word. He’d had also decided that the less time spent with Udina the better.  They’d made him a council spectre.  After spending an entire day solving other people’s problems, he decided he needed a drink. 

Dressed in jeans and a grey sweater, Dillan was having a drink alone in Chora’s Den when a hand brushed across his shoulder. He didn’t bother turning around.  Hackett had a _particular_ stride that stood out.  He’d heard him before he’d touched him. And even if he hadn’t, the man wore a musky cologne that had at least part of Dillan standing up at attention…or for attention.

“Admiral.” Dillan raised his glass in salute.

Hackett sat on the barstool next to him. “Why are you drinking alone? The rest of the _Normandy_ crew is over at Flux.”

“I started there and then people wanted to talk to the _new_ Spectre.  It was worse than after the Blitz when everyone _had_ to shake hands with the _hero._ No one gives a shit here. I can drink in peace and quiet.” Dillan told himself not to lean into the hand still resting on his back or read too much into the fact that it was there. “Do _they_ know you’ve escaped Arcturus?”

“I’ve wondered why Major Jamieson was so reluctant to let you leave Delta Team.  It’s not just that you’re a competent marine. You are a born leader.  You’ve got your father’s military mind but it’s tempered by your mother’s brilliant skills with handling people.” Hackett held up his hand when Dillan started to make a sarcastic comment. “And underneath all of that cocky bullshit, there’s a man who craves something that Alenko _won’t_ be able to provide.”

“Is that so? You’ll have to tell me all about what you _think_ you know about me.” Dillan set his glass slowly down on the counter.  He stood up and snapped a perfect salute at the Admiral with a smirk on his face. “And _maybe_ later I’ll tell you what I plan to do the minute I’m alone in my quarters. Enjoy your drink, _Admiral_.”

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: Congratulations._

_On having command over your own ship._

_You never did tell me what you planned to do in your quarters._

_I find myself…curious._

_Hackett_

* * *

Hackett waited impatiently for Commander Shepard to appear on his vid-comm.  He hadn’t received a response to his email and…it bothered him.  His hail had been transferred to the Commander’s quarters.  It was several moments before he caught sight of a muscular chest and what looked like a pair of black boxers. 

 “Is there a reason that you’re in your boxers, Shepard?” Hackett’s eyes shot back up when he heard the man’s deep chuckle at where his eyes were obviously looking.  

“Is there a reason that you’re contacting me in the middle of the night?” Shepard dropped into the chair in front of his comm.

“Put some clothes on, Commander.”

“No.” He grinned at the Admiral. “Not until you admit that you find me attractive.”

“That is _not_ appropriate.” Hackett had been trying _very_ hard _not_ to think about the man, and seeing him in nothing but boxers wasn’t helping.

“Neither is the way that you stare at my ass.” The cocky bastard smirked at him. “Or maybe that was just me staring at yours.”

_“Commander.”_

“Dillan.” Shepard leaned back in the chair and propped his feet up on his desk. “My name is _Dillan_. Someone should use it for fuck’s sake.”

Hackett watched Shepard’s hand drift from his chest to rest just inside the top of his boxers. “What?”

“My mother even calls me Shepard half the time. Don’t you ever get tired of being a rank or surname?” Shepard seemed completely unconcerned with the fact that he was having this conversation with a commanding officer.

“Frequently.” Hackett admitted while he watched Shepard’s hand drift further into his boxers. “What the _hell_ do you think you are doing?”

“There’s a handsome man that I find incredibly attractive contacting me in the middle of the night in my private quarters. It’s so much better than just fantasizing about you.” The devilish grin was back on his face as his hand began a very _familiar_ motion. “And I did promise to tell you about what I had planned to do when I was alone.  Perhaps a visual demonstration would work better?”

Hackett found himself following the movement even though he told himself that he should disconnect _immediately._ “It’s not much of a show if I can’t see _everything_ , Dillan.”

He heard the muffled ‘ _holy shit’_ before Shepard shoved his boxers off.  Hackett understood the sentiment when he got a better look at the younger man.  His cock was beautiful. It was difficult to tell via a comm screen, but it looked to be at least seven inches, straight and a nice thickness.  He found it mesmerizing to watch him masturbate.

“You could join me.” Shepard appeared to be a little short of breath as his fingers glided over his cock faster.

“The first time that you see my cock is going to be _up close and in person._ ” Hackett decided that if he was going to break the regs, it was going to be on _his_ terms.

“And when is that going to be?”

“Are you that desperate for it?” Hackett decided to see how far he could push Shepard.

“No more than you’re going to be.” He leaned forward in his chair to wink at Hackett before disconnecting the comm.

Hackett stared at his now blank terminal in shock. He expected to push the man, he hadn’t expected to be pushed right back.  “The cocky bastard.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There may be slight trigger warnings in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Quiet._

_You’ve been awfully quiet, Admiral._

_Is there a particular reason for that?_

_Shepard_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Quiet._

_I understand that you destroyed a priceless ruin._

_Good job dealing with that reporter on the Citadel.  She looked like an idiot and you looked…suave._

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Quiet._

_I’ve been known to cause uncontrolled explosions._

_Suave?_

_Have an explosion of your own?_

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Quiet._

_Why would you like to have been here to catch it for me?_

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Quiet._

_We could always find out._

_The Normandy is heading to Arcturus in a few days._

_Dillan_

* * *

Hackett was sitting in his office when Major Jamieson stormed inside. “Major?”

“We _need_ to talk.” Jamieson didn’t bother to sit down. He loomed over the desk to glare at Hackett.

“Sit down, Major.” Hackett gave him a bland look.  He wasn’t used to people yelling at him in his own damn office.

“I only came to say that if you hurt him, you’ll not only answer to me about an entire team of marines that will beat you into the ground, rank be damned.” The Major pulled himself up to his full imposing height.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry, he hasn’t said anything.  Dillan, in spite of his smug façade, he’s spent a lifetime keeping secrets.  It almost got him killed. But I knew he’d go for you if he got a chance. So did Hannah.” Jamieson clenched his jaw tightly.

“Why would you think that I’d hurt him?” Hackett didn’t bother to confirm or deny his interest. It wasn’t the Major’s business.

“I don’t.” Jamieson continued to lean towards him. “He may have his own damn ship, but he’s one of ours.  And we protect our own.  We failed once, and it won’t happen again.”

“Failed?” Hackett was beginning to wonder what exactly had happened before.

“We keep our secrets.” Jamieson started towards the door. He paused to glance back at Hackett. “He’s a good marine. Cocky, impulsive and trouble.  But he’s brilliant in a firefight. Elysium is a prime example of it.”

Hackett didn’t get a chance to say anything in return.  The man in question stepped into the room.  Shepard stopped dead when he caught sight of Jamieson.

“How’s mom?” Shepard smirked at the Major.  Hackett raised an amused eyebrow.

_Hannah and Jamieson?_

_How very intriguing._

“She’s…” Jamieson punched the still smirking Shepard on the arm and left the room without another word.

“What did he want? Did he come to warn you off?” Shepard turned his smile towards Hackett. His smile fell away at something that he saw in Hackett’s face. “Fuck. He did.”

“Not at all. We were discussing Alliance business.” Hackett decided to try to shrug the meeting off.

Dillan leaned back casually against the wall. “What did he say? Threaten you with the might of Team Delta? It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“He wasn’t trying to warn me off.  He wanted me to know what would happen if I hurt you.” He gestured for Shepard to take a seat.  He watched the flickering emotions that crossed the Commander’s face. “Why does he feel like he failed you?”

“I don’t know. Ask him.” Shepard’s face was suddenly completely shuttered and emotionless.  It was the first time Hackett could ever recall seeing him without any hint of humor.

“I did. He didn’t give me an answer.” Hackett wandered over to pour them both a glass of scotch.  He handed one to Shepard then took his seat again.

“No, he wouldn’t.” He set the glass aside without taking a sip. “You asked me about an incident that happened after Akuze.”

“The training accident?”

“It was Mark’s way of fucking with me.  Reminding me…the things that he left were meant to humiliate me.” Shepard reached out a slightly trembling hand to grab the glass and took a long drink.  He gave a self-depreciating smile. “I was a fool.”

“I doubt it.” Hackett didn’t want to press the man. “You don’t have to tell me.

Shepard looked up from his glass. “This is why I’ve stuck to quick fucks that were meaningless with men that I felt nothing beyond lust for.”

“Why?”

He continued to stare into the empty glass as if it held all the answers. “You can read it for yourself. It’s all in a sealed file.  Tell Jamieson that you have my permission.  Read it.  I’ll be at the bar.”

“Dillan?”

“I’m not a tragic, broken man, Admiral. I have a little baggage, so do most people.  I haven’t felt the desire to risk more than a fling with someone in a very long time.” Shepard stood up and set the glass on Hackett’s desk. “You might be worth the effort.”

“Might?” Hackett scribbled a code down on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “Code to my quarters, I have a fully stocked bar.”

“You might not…”

Hackett held up a hand to stop him. “You aren’t the only man in the Alliance to have made a fool of himself.”

“Maybe.” Shepard shrugged at him and headed out of the office.

The file turned out to be remarkably difficult to access even for an Admiral.  He finally took Shepard’s advice and contacted Jamieson who added a few details that were not going to be in the file before sending it to him.

The commander had been pestered for weeks by Doyle, who he’d been dating for over a year, into experimenting with being restrained.  The moment that he’d been tied up, he’d been brutally beaten.  They found out much later that Doyle had failed his N7 school, not just failed but been permanently barred from ever attempting to retake it.   He’d beaten Shepard out of a jealous rage at his successfully passing.

It was Major Jamieson who found him unconscious the following morning.  Doyle had been transferred to another unit immediately.  The file sealed to prevent any embarrassment. Team Delta closed ranks around Shepard until he was fully recovered.  Hackett deleted the file.  He didn’t feel the need to keep it.

“Do you just live in your underwear?” Hackett stepped into his quarters to find Shepard relaxing on the couch in his boxers with a beer in hand.

“You said make myself at home.” He smirked up at him. “You called me Dillan, earlier.”

“I did.”

“I don’t generally find my own name arousing, but you _have_ a way with words.” He scratched his jaw for a moment. “It happened eight years ago. I wasn’t raped, I was beaten.  It wasn’t sexual. He only restrained me because I would’ve torn him apart otherwise. If he hadn’t died on Akuze, I might’ve done it eventually anyway.  So…you know my tragic little story, can we move on to the part where you let me get you out of that uniform?”

Hackett briefly considered indulging the desire to drag his fingers across the muscular chest in front of him.  He didn’t want to just be a _quick fuck_. “Get dressed, _Dillan_.”

“Dressed?

The flash of disappointment in Shepard’s eyes spurred Hackett into action.  He didn’t want the man to think that he wasn’t interested. He moved across the room.  With his hand firmly on Shepard’s neck, he pulled Shepard up off the couch into a bruising kiss.  He stepped back once they were both breathing heavily.

“Admiral?” Shepard ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

“Steven.” Hackett held his hand up to stop him from moving forward for a second kiss. “Call me, Steven.  Get dressed because I want to take you out for dinner.”

Shepard glanced down at the bulge in his boxers. “I’m going to need a cold shower first… _Steven._ ”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace

_Torture_

Hackett was convinced that Dillan Shepard had been created for the specific purpose of tormenting him.  The man managed to make even the simple act of eating a steak and fries practically obscene.  He currently appeared to be licking salt from his fingers…slowly…with his blue eyes focused on Hackett’s.

“Feeling explosive?” Shepard reached down for a second fry and made sure to take his time in biting into it.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Hackett didn’t know if he wanted to leave or drag the man across the table and kiss him until he’d wiped the smirk off of his face. 

“I _always_ enjoy myself.” The smirk widened a little bit, and Hackett enjoyed the way it shifted the contours of his face.

Hackett raised an eyebrow at him.  He had no doubt that the man took great pleasure in many things. He’d felt a hand drift across his knee a couple times, too many times for it to be an accident.  He didn’t get a chance to say anything about it. They were joined at the table by Major Jamieson and one of the Lieutenants who made up Team Delta. 

From the pointed looks that Hackett received from the two men, it was a reinforcement of his conversation with the Major earlier.  Shepard sat back in his chair and laughed into his beer for a good minute or two.  He seemed to find the entire evening an absurd joke, Hackett wasn’t sure that he was wrong.

* * *

 

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Bigger Guns._

_I’ve never before considered that I might need a bigger gun until today._

_Not what you think either._

_We managed to free the colonists from the mind control of a giant plant. Yes, plant. I’ll send you a vid of the thing. It was massive._

_We’re heading to the Newton System to see who is killing the scientists._

_You know, if you like my wonderfully deep voice so much, why don’t you just contact me on my private terminal? You don’t have to keep sending me on all these missions._

_Dillan_

* * *

Shepard managed to talk Corporal Toombs down from shooting the scientist.  It took a little convincing. But if they were going to pursue Cerberus in court, they would definitely need both Toombs and the scientist. While the waited for the Fifth Fleet to send transport, he noticed the Corporal continued to stare at him. “Something I can help you with?”

“Shepard. Dillan Shepard?” Toombs seemed to be trying to recall something. “Doyle talked about you.”

“Did he?” Shepard felt his insides freeze. He decided that Alenko and Garrus could handle watching the two men on their own.  He went outside to wait by the Mako instead.  He had no interest in knowing what Doyle had told his squad mates about him.

Six hours later, Shepard sat at a bar on Arcturus getting hammered on bad vodka.  He meant to stumble to the apartment that he still owned on the station.  He _really_ had.  The only trouble was that he couldn’t remember where it was.  He ended up banging on Hackett’s door instead.

“Dillan?” Hackett stood in a t-shirt and sweatpants, similar to the ones that he’d worn when he was working out.

“Forgot the fucking code to my apartment.” He grabbed the doorframe for support. “Might’ve forgotten where it is too.”

“Yet you remembered where my quarters were?” Hackett looked dubious, or Shepard thought he did.  Everything was a little blurry at the moment.

“’s bigger.” He gestured wildly towards the room and hit Hackett in the chest. He flattened his hand against the other man’s t-shirt. “I…”

“Lost for words?” Hackett stepped back to let Shepard inside.

“Lost.” Shepard repeated before stumbling towards the couch. He dropped down on it on his back. “I seem to be very lost this evening.”

“Sleep it off.” Hackett crouched down to pull off his boots and then dragged a blanket over him. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Dillan woke the following morning still on the couch.  He sat up and decided that he was definitely in need of a shower. He moved as quietly as possible through Hackett’s quarters.  He showered quickly and made sure to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash.  He finally started to feel human and less like death warmed over as he toweled himself off.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he headed over to slip under the covers beside Hackett whose eyes immediately popped open. “Morning.”

“Can I help you?” Hackett shifted on his back.

“Your bed is such much more comfortable than the couch,” Dillan remarked casually.

“That’s why I sleep in it. You have an apartment and the captain’s quarters on the _Normandy_ , both have beds if I recall correctly.” He stared pointedly at Shepard.

“True.” Shepard moved close enough that he could run his fingernail across one of Hackett’s nipples. “But sadly, you aren’t in either of them.”

“ _Dillan_.”

He lifted up enough that he could use his tongue instead. “Steven?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hackett gripped Shepard by the hair to lift his head away.

“If you don’t know what I’m doing, it’s been _way_ too damn long for you.” He smirked at him while his fingers drifted under the blanket across Hackett’s abdomen to his already hard cock. “Not so long that you’ve forgotten how it works.”

“You are an _arrogant_ and _impulsive_ …” Hackett’s voice trailed away as the fingers grazed over him again.

“That’s not a _no.”_ He shifted over until his body was on top of the other man’s.  His crossed his arms and rested them against Hackett’s chest for leverage.  He peered down into blue eyes that were a shade lighter than his own. “Is it a no?”

Hackett leaned his head up but found that he couldn’t reach Shepard’s lips. He raised his hips so his cock brushed against Shepard. “What does that feel like?”

With a smirk, Shepard leaned down to meet Hackett half-way. The first kiss was a slow, exploratory one.  Their tongues twined together while Dillan shifted his hips in a casual motion that caused his cock to slide across Hackett’s.  The moan that the movement dragged out of the man underneath him caused him to throb in a very pleasant way.  He wasn’t sure whose pre-cum it was but the slickness made the friction even better.

When Hackett reached for him, Dillan grabbed his wrists and pinned them to his side.  He smirked against the other man’s lips before delving his tongue back into his mouth.  He wanted to watch Hackett lose all that precious control that he seemed to have.  They were matched fairly well strength and height wise.  Dillan was a hair taller and stronger though. 

He continued holding Hackett in position while their tongues dueled.  Dillan bucked against the body under him again and again.  Their cocks glided back and forth. He leaned up so he could see the look on Hackett’s face.  Their bodies moved hard enough that the bed creaked a little as they ground their lower halves into each other.

“Is this where you show me your explosions, _Dillan?”_ Hackett taunted him and the almost growl in his voice when he said his name was enough to for him to spurt on the other man.

Dillan slid down when he recovered to first lick his own cum from Hackett’s body, then he took Hackett’s cock into his mouth.  He wanted to know what the man tasted like.  He kept his head tilted so that he could still watch his face while he lost control.  His fingers played with the tightening balls as his tongue and mouth worked their magic until he’d gotten what he was wanting.

He dragged his tongue over the over-sensitive head once more after Hackett had finished before collapsing on his back beside him. “I’m going to want to do that again…and again. Is that ok with you?”

Hackett pulled Dillan over until they were resting with their bodies molded together. “No, next time, I’m the one on top.”

“Control freak.” He bit the edge of Hackett’s jaw. “You aren’t going to be happy with just a quick fuck that never happens again, are you?”

_“No.”_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan was sitting in Flux drinking when an old buddy from n-school took a seat beside him.  _Lieutenant-Commander Adam Jones._ Adam had been in his N3 training class when he’d been injured.  They’d had a very brief fling.  He’d had a few drinks when the man sat down.  It didn’t take much for Adam to convince him over to the dance floor.

Dancing should’ve been harmless fun that Dillan could throw himself into.  It wasn’t until Adam tried to lean into a kiss that he backed away from him.  He left a confused man on the dance floor to head out of the club.  He’d clearly had enough to drink.  His arm bumped against another Alliance officer as he walked past the bouncer.

“ _Dillan_.” Hackett followed him out of Flux all the way into the elevator that led to C-Sec HQ. “What were you doing?”

“Dancing. I’m not going to apologize for anything or anyone that I did while single.” Dillan turned amused blue eyes towards him. “And as far as I’m aware, I’m still single.”

“You aren’t anymore.”

“Aren’t what?” He leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed on his chest.

“Single.” Hackett’s hand shot out to grab his t-shirt and yanked him over.

“Is that so?” Dillan glanced briefly down at the fingers tangled in his shirt with a grin. “Trying to tell me what to do, Steven?”

“Are you going to listen?” Hackett’s lips were tantalizingly close to his own.

“Nope.” Dillan tapped Hackett on the shoulder and motioned to the now open elevator doors. “Do you intend on giving C-sec a show?”

Hackett released him to step back.  He reached out to hit another button but Dillan dodged around him before the doors could close again.  He laughed himself hoarse as he made his way back to the _Normandy._

Did Hackett really think he was just going to roll over like a puppy?  The image was so funny that Dillan had to stop walking towards the airlock and bend over to catch his breath.   Tears were rolling down his face when he finally got himself together enough to at least stand up straight.

“Something amusing you?”

He didn’t have to turn around to know that Hackett was behind him. “You.”

“Indeed.” Hackett followed him into the airlock.  From the frown on his face, Hackett didn’t appreciate his answer.  “I don’t do casual.”

“And I haven’t done anything but casual for years.” Dillan kept his voice low as they made their way through the ship towards his quarters.  “Is this where you tell me what you think I _need_ that you can _provide?”_

Hackett pinned him to the wall of his quarters the moment the door was closed. He kept his forearm pressed firmly against Dillan’s chest. “You already know the answer to that question.”

Dillan smiled at him then, a slow grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he tilted his head to one side. “Do I?”

Hackett seemed perfectly content to stand there.  His eyes held Dillan’s gaze. “If I’m your _type,_ why have all your flings been with men your own age?”

“I…”

“Silent, Dillan?” Hackett moved his head close enough that his beard brushed against the stubble on Dillan’s jaw.  “I didn’t think you knew how to do that.”

“They’re easy to get into bed and easy to leave in the morning without a second thought.” He surprised himself by telling the truth.

“And me?”

It was the question that Dillan didn’t want to answer yet. Not really.  He was beginning to regret walking into Hackett’s office thinking that he could seduce the Admiral without consequences.  And it had taken only once for the man to get under his skin.  It was why he’d avoided men that were his type. He’d known that eventually he’d find the right one.

_He didn’t want or need the attachment._

_He didn’t want…or need…Hackett._

The trouble was that his mind might understand but the rest of him didn’t seem to get the point.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Hackett stepped back away from him.

Dillan couldn’t stop himself from lunging forward to grab Hackett to spin him around and press him up against the wall. His leaned in and his nose dragged along the underside of Hackett’s jaw as he took a deep breath. “Not so fucking easy.”

“Good.”

“Commander? I’m sorry to interrupt but I’ve got a message from Ambassador Udina asking you to meet him at the embassy.” Joker’s voice stopped Hackett who was trying to work his hands underneath Dillan’s fatigues.

“Tell him I’ll be there momentarily.” Dillan forced himself back from Hackett with an aggravated sigh. He scratched his jaw before straightening his shirt.

“When you finish on Feros, head to Arcturus.” Hackett dragged Dillan back over to grind their cocks together for a moment eliciting a sharp groan from both men. “We’ll have dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“I thought I might eat it off of you.” Hackett grazed his hand across Dillan’s six-pack. “It’s an impressively muscled plate.”

Dillan watched Hackett stride out of his quarters with only the slightest hitch in his step.  He reached down to shift himself in his boxers. “Son-of-a-bitch.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, I am unashamed to admit, is pretty much smut without a damn plot. Mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

When Hackett had mentioned that he wanted to use him for a plate, Dillan hadn’t really taken him seriously.  It was a surprise then when he found himself naked across a dining room table with some sort of spicy beef concoction spread over his abdomen.  It was tasty too; he’d snuck a few pieces of it.

“Is it really that hard to find a clean plate in your apartment?” Dillan glanced down at the man casually licking and sucking his way down his stomach. “Do I get to eat at some point?”

“Oh I’ll feed you something.” Hackett all but growled around a mouthful of food.

DIllan reached down to grab a piece of beef to pop into his mouth. “This is a whole new level of self-catering.”

Hackett’s eyes darkened and he dragged his tongue from Dillan’s navel all the way down to just above his cock.  He found himself transfixed by the seat.  He followed the movements as Hackett repeated the path, without ever actually touching Dillan’s cock. 

It took thirty minutes for Hackett to _eat_ his dinner. He was _kind_ enough to feed Dillan while he was at it.  Dillan was so hard by the time that the last morsel was gone that it hurt.  His eyes glazed over as he watched the other man graze his tongue all the way from the base to the tip of his cock.  He swirled around the head sucking in the pre-cum that had started to gather.

“Fuck, Steven.” Dillan bucked up with his hand clenched around the edge of the table only to have Hackett pull away. “Son-of-a-bitch.”

“Ask nicely.”

“I can bench-press you,” Dillan groaned. His eyes locked with Hackett’s as the man hovered over him. “Fuck.”

“Ask. Nicely.” Hackett tugged lightly on his balls.

_He didn’t ask for it. The tongue on the head of his cock felt really good. The whole mouth would feel better. Fuck. He wasn’t going to ask for it._

It turned out to be the intensity of Hackett’s gaze while he palmed Dillan’s cock that did him in.  He asked nicely, repeatedly, until he wasn’t capable of coherent thought.  It didn’t take much after the extended and agonizing foreplay for him to give Hackett _dessert_. 

He found the table increasingly uncomfortable once the rush of orgasm was gone.  The firm hand that rested on his leg was…not…uncomfortable.  He enjoyed the warmth of it.  He wanted more of that.  The thought in and of itself was enough for him to move off the table.  He went straight into Hackett’s bathroom without speaking.

Washing off the sticky residue from dinner on his abdomen, Dillan cursed himself mentally.  He thought he’d gotten to an age where he didn’t need to hide in the fucking shower.  The sex was _amazing._ He looked forward to more of it.

The rush of feeling had been fucking unwelcome.  It had been a long time since he’d found himself wanting to relax and let his guard down with another man outside of fucking.  He shook his head in disgust.  _Dillan Shepard_ did _not_ hide from anyone, not even his own fears. 

Loosely drying himself off, he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom through the bedroom to find Hackett in the kitchen cleaning up.  He glanced up when Dillan stepped in.  He leaned against the counter to watch Hackett clean.

“Spend the night.” Hackett dried his hands on a kitchen towel.

“I should get back to the _Normandy._ ” He wouldn’t look to closely at how attractive the offer was.

Hackett snagged the edge of the towel to pull it from Dillan’s waist. “You’re staying. I’m not finished with you yet.”

“Ready for round two already, old man?” Dillan decided that he couldn’t leave without making Hackett beg for it at least once.  It was really the only _fair_ thing to do.

“Naked men shouldn’t be…”

Dillan didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence.  He got a finger through one of the loops on Hackett’s jeans and tugged both those and his boxers down.  Pressing him back against the counter, Dillan dropped to his knees to _take care_ of the hard cock in front of him. His blue eyes glinted with mischief as he kept them trained on Hackett.  He skimmed his tongue slowly around the head, barely touching it.

Hackett grabbed the edge of the counter with one hand and the short black hair on Dillan’s head with the other.  Despite the firm grip, Dillan refused to be rushed.  He let his tongue explore every inch of Hackett’s cock while his fingers gently kneaded his balls.   He did everything but take him into his mouth. 

_Pay back was a bitch._

It wasn’t until he could feel Hackett struggling to keep his composure that he opened his mouth to suck on the head.  He pulled back when Hackett tried to thrust further into him.  Smirking up at the man, he told him to _ask nicely_. 

Dillan knew how to work a body to the very edge and he did that multiple times.  It wasn’t until he had a finger into Hackett that was just grazing over his prostate that he finally gave in to the _asking nicely._   It wasn’t much of a victory since the moment that he opened his mouth further Hackett was _feeding_ him his cock.

He didn’t know who was really in control. He had a finger in the man and his mouth on his cock but it felt more like the other man was controlling the pace.  Dillan didn’t care, which was odd.  He tilted his head back to get a better angle to swallow more and to watch Hackett as he started to lose control.  The fingers in his hair tightened and a sharp gasp that sounded like another growl were all the warning that he got.

He waited until the cock in his mouth had softened to lean back on his heels with a smug grin on his face. “Not bad for an old man. You did ask _so very_ nicely.”

Hackett dragged him off the floor by his hair to press him back against the counter.  His lips hovered over Dillan’s. “You’re still spending the night.”

_“Why?”_

“When was the last time that you woke up in the morning with a hard body next to you?” Hackett’s blue eyes were difficult to turn away from.

“I don’t do that,” Dillan shrugged. “Why should that change now?”

Hackett didn’t respond immediately.  He wrapped his arms around Dillan who was struggling not to cave in to the feeling of warmth that was now pressed against his body. “Because you like how this feels.”

Arguing with an Admiral was generally a foolish mistake, and with this particularly one pointless.  Dillan lay on his back staring up at the ceiling in the bedroom hours later.  Hackett slept on his side next to him.  He had a list of things that he didn’t do with men, not after Doyle.  It included staying over and emotional attachments. 

_He didn’t believe in forming attachments._

_He also didn’t believe in cuddling._

He watched Hackett sleeping for another ten minutes before caving in to the urge to scoot closer.  He twisted over until he was on his side and pressed into the sleeping form beside him.  He draped his arm around Hackett’s body.  _Fuck._  He started to pull back when a strong hand clamped around his arm.

“What took you so damn long?” Hackett muttered before drifting back off to sleep.

Dillan was tumbling head first into the beginnings of something that he’d been avoiding for the last ten years or so.  

_Shit._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May have slight triggers.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: Early Morning._

_Do you usually sneak out before five in the morning?_

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Early Morning._

_I don’t usually spend the night._

_I thought I’d let you sleep in. Don’t old people need their rest?_

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Early Morning._

_I wasn’t the one running scared in the early hours of the morning._

_I’m heading to Pinnacle Station to meet with Admiral Ahern and perhaps take part in one of the simulations._

_Join me. I’ll show you what an old man is capable of._

_Steven_

* * *

Dillan fought several rounds on Pinnacle Station with Admiral _fucking_ Hackett as part of his squad.  It was hot.  He had to remind himself that erections and armor did _not_ go together.  After the first few rounds, Hackett left to meet with Ahern.  Alenko and Garrus joined him to fight through level after level until they’d reached the top of all the leader boards.

The special untested simulation that wasn’t a simulation was an impossible challenge to resist.   Dillan forgot for a moment that Hackett was still on the station.  They managed to win but not without getting a little messed up in the process.

Hackett entered the MedBay on Pinnacle with fire in his eyes. “Was top of the leader board _not_ enough for you?”

“It never is.” Dillan started to square his shoulders only to wince when the motion pulled on a sore muscle. “Are you heading back to Arcturus?”

Hackett was momentarily distracted by the question. “Yes, why?”

“I won a retirement home from Ahern. You _could_ join me while I check it out.” Dillan stood up and carefully stretched out his back.  It was a little tight but a hot shower would probably take care of that.

“A bet?” Hackett picked up the datapad that the doctor had left to skim through the medical notes. “What did you bet?”

“My life.”

Hackett moved in close enough that Dillan was essentially pinned between him and the bed. “You risk your life every day as a Commander in the Alliance. You shouldn’t cheapen that potential sacrifice on a silly bet.”

“A Shepard does _not_ back down from a challenge.” Dillan repeated the mantra that _his father_ had drilled into him.

“Oh?” Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Your father did all the time.”

“ _What_?”

“Neil Shepard would never go into anything that he didn’t know he could win.” Hackett looked like he was speaking from personal experience. “If he thought there was a chance that he’d lose, he’d find a way out of the fight.”

Dillan didn’t get a chance to respond. Hackett stepped back away from him and a second later the doctor came in to let him know that he was free to leave.   He gave Hackett the coordinates to his new retirement home on Intai’sei and headed back to the _Normandy._  

He changed into jeans and an old N7 t-shirt before checking out his _new_ digs. The place was nice. He even found himself with access to supplies that he shouldn’t have. _Ahern was a sneaky bastard._ He was ordering himself a new omni-tool and a set of heavy armor when Hackett stepped into the living room. 

He’d apparently also taken the time to shower and change.  He wore dark blue jeans and a crisp white dress shirt with black dress shoes.  Dillan shook his head with a rueful grin as he glanced down at his own ripped jeans and scuffed up boots.  Even in the middle of the simulation, Hackett had looked like he did now, together and in control.  Dillan usually managed to be scruffy yet effective.

“Did I hear you telling Alenko that you were getting another tattoo?” Hackett dipped two fingers into the hole in Dillan’s jeans.  It allowed him to caress his thigh while he pulled Dillan towards him.

“Thinking about it.” Dillan couldn’t for the life of him remember what the hell he’d told Alenko.  The fingers in his jeans were more interesting.

“What are you thinking about getting inked on you?” Hackett asked.

“Oh I thought something simple like ‘ _I fucked Admiral Hackett’_ across my back would be good.” Dillan scratched the stubble on his jaw absently.  He leaned back against the desk and laughed until his sides hurt at the look on Hackett’s face. “No, I’m getting a full sleeved tattoo on my right arm of ocean waves.”

“Waves?” Hackett’s fingers stilled against his thigh.

“I like to surf.  I usually take shore-leave a couple of time a year on Earth to indulge the hobby.” Dillan usually kept his love of surfing to himself.  It wasn’t something that _marines_ usually engaged in.  The minute the words were out, he regretted having admitted it. “I…”

“There’s a surfing city in Argentina called Mar Del Plata.  I’ll have to take you there.” Hackett removed his fingers from Dillan’s jeans only to start moving under his t-shirt instead.  “It’s not as nice as some of the breaks in Oahu though.”

Dillan broke into a full grin that light up his eyes and showed off the dimples in his cheeks. “You surf?”

“I’ve been known to follow the tide more than once or twice.” Hackett scraped his thumbnail over Dillan’s nipple. “You’ve never told me why there’s a burned off tattoo on your ankle.”

He reached out to pull Hackett’s hand out of his shirt. “I need to head to Noveria.”

“Tell me about the tattoo, Dillan.” Hackett had a firm grip on his shirt.

He glanced down at the fingers holding him still trying to decide how much he really liked the t-shirt. “It’s not…”

‘’I know what was underneath it.  I want to know why you tried to burn your own tattoo off,” Hackett asked.

“I didn’t.” Dillan frowned at him. “It was an N7 tattoo.  I got it after I graduated. Doyle took offense to it.”

Hackett took a long, deep breath as he mulled over what he could obviously infer from Dillan’s admission.  He used his grip to pull Dillan closer.  He barely got his lips apart before Hackett was dragging him over to the couch.  Careful of the bruises, Hackett peeled both of their t-shirts.  He removed Dillan’s jeans next and briefly ran his thumb over the burned skin on his ankle before moving back up.

“Are you sure that you’re up for it old man?” Dillan smirked up at him.

In retrospect, having seen Hackett in action, it might not have been his best idea ever to provoke him.  He found himself being flipped over on his back.  Hackett started to dig his fingers into Dillan’s back. Dillan bit back a groan as his head sunk into the couch.  The tension from fighting all day in the simulation and the tightness in his back was slowly massaged away.

The fingers drifted lower until they were paying particular attention to his lower back. Dillan found himself shifting up trying to get Hackett to move lower. A dark chuckle rumbled against his back and Dillan got the idea that he was about to pay for his smart ass comment from earlier.  Hackett teased and massaged every part of his body. 

He flipped Dillan over on his back and massaged his arms and chest while still straddling his legs.  “I think I’m going to make you beg for it.”

“You can try, old man.” Dillan’s comment lacked fire though as it came out more like a moan.

“Is that so? Maybe I should call you, boy, if you insist on calling me an old man.” Hackett leaned over to bite Dillan hard on the chest. He ran his tongue along the mark that he’d left. “Ask.”

“Fuck…” He’d intended to say ‘ _fuck you’_ but when Hackett shifted his hips so their cocks brushed against each other, he lost his train of thought. “Me.”

“That’s not really asking.” Hackett continued to tease him with slow movements that provided friction but nowhere near what Dillan wanted.

When Hackett bit down on his chest again, Dillan gave in to the demand in Hackett’s eyes to ask for it.  He was immediately flipped over on his stomach.  He lifted up when Hackett tucked a pillow under him for better leverage.  He watched him reached down to pull a small container of lube out of his jeans pocket.

_Talk about being prepared._

He didn’t get a chance to think of much as a well-lubed finger thrust deeply into him.  “If you don’t stop fucking teasing me, I’m…”

Hackett silenced him with the blunt pressure of his cock.  Dillan dropped his head down on the couch and enjoyed the sensations of being slowly filled.  He’d wondered what the man’s cock was going to feel like in him.  He _was not_ disappointed.  Hackett gripped his sides while he waited for a moment for both of them to adjust.

It was Dillan who started to tentatively shift.  He refused to let Hackett control everything.  With a hard snap of his hips, he pulled away and then took him all the way back inside.  Hackett’s fingers tightened on him.  He smiled into the cushion at the moan that it earned him. He repeated the motion a few times before Hackett had clearly had enough.

He smacked Dillan’s ass once and began to control their movements more.  Their bodies slapped together hard and Dillan worried briefly about the couch’s ability to take the force of it.  Hackett reached underneath him to stroke his cock while he pumped his hips harder.  The combined effort was too much for him and he came hard into the cushions.  His muscles tightened around the cock in his ass and he felt Hackett pull out and cum across his back.

Hackett leaned over to lick his back clean. Dillan thought he might have a second orgasm just from that alone. “How was that for an old man?”

Dillan grabbed his t-shirt to clean up the mess underneath him.   With that done, he collapsed face forward on the couch while Hackett moved off of him.  He rolled over on his back. “I’m rethinking that whole tattoo idea. ‘I like Hackett’s cock’ has a nice ring to it.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The change in his sleeping pattern is the first thing that Dillan notices.  He has generally always slept flat on his back.  The last few nights, he finds himself waking up on his side with his arms wrapped around his pillow. He rolled over on his back to stare up at the ceiling. 

They were on their way back to the Arcturus after taking care of Noveria and a laundry list of errands for Fifth Fleet command.  If it wasn’t for enjoying talking to Hackett, he’d be tempted to tell him to fuck the hell off the next time he _had_ a mission _just_ for the _Normandy._

He had a buddy on Arcturus who owned a tattoo shop and had designed his new tattoo for him.  Alenko tagged along as he got his entire right upper arm inked with intricate waves.  The LT had become a good friend over the last few weeks. They were laughing about something Wrex had told Dillan when Hackett stepped into the shop.

It took a moment for him to realize why Hackett was glaring at him.  Alenko had his hand on Dillan’s shoulder while he got a better look at the tattoo in progress.  They were laughing with their heads relatively close together. 

The whole thing was completely innocent.  He kept his eyes on Hackett though as he continued to chat with Alenko.  He stayed by the wall watching the tattoo artist work.  His eyes occasionally drifted over to Dillan and Alenko with an ever deepening frown on his face. Dillan grinned at him in response, eyes twinkling with pure amusement.

Alenko finally left to meet up with the rest of the crew for dinner.  It took another hour for the tattoo to finally be finished.  Dillan twisted in the mirror to get a better look at the art on his arm.  His eyes met Hackett’s who had moved closer. He shifted to the side to show him the new art before letting his buddy bandage it up and carefully pulling his t-shirt back on.

“Do you have plans for dinner?” Hackett asked once they had moved out of the shop.

“I do.” Dillan laughed when Hackett’s jaw clenched.

“With the Lieutenant?” He didn’t seem to find it very amusing.

“No, and for the record, Alenko is a friend, nothing more.” Dillan’s eyes continued to twinkle mischievously which appeared to annoy Hackett even further. “Are you worried?”

“So who…”

Dillan glanced down at his omni-tool. “Shit, I’m late for my dinner date. See you around, _Steven._ ”

* * *

It wasn’t jealousy. Hackett tried to convince himself.  It wasn’t.  He’d chosen the same restaurant that he’d follow Dillan to because he was hungry.  He’d spotted him sitting alone at a table set for four the minute that he’d walked inside. It was really none of his business. 

_Get a grip, Admiral._

Five minutes later, he had an answer to who Dillan was having dinner with.  Hannah and Jamieson joined the smug bastard who turned amused blue eyes his direction. Hackett leaned back in his chair with an exasperated sigh.  He’d been had by the cocky Commander.  It was probably deserved since he’d spent the evening glaring at him for no reason whatsoever.

“Sir?” The Commander wondered if you’d like to join him and his friends for dinner.” His server gestured to where Dillan was staring pointedly at the empty seat beside him.

The smirk on Dillan’s face told him that this had all been a part of his plan.  The meal was relatively uneventful. The four of them talked about recent Alliance news, Hannah complained about the new tattoo and Major Jamieson spent most of the dinner glaring at Hackett, the warning still very evident in his eyes.

“Steven.”

Hackett focused his attention on Hannah. “Yes?”

“Be good to my son.” Hannah ignored the loud groan that came from _her son_. “Are you two being safe? Did you get tested before you started sleeping together?”

Dillan dropped his head into his hand. “Mom.”

“What?” Hannah smiled at Hackett, the twinkle in her eyes reminded him of Dillan. “Jamieson and I are going to leave you two to enjoy dessert. Love you son.”

Dillan’s response was lost in his hands.  He didn’t look back up until they were alone. “Kill me now.”

“Interesting _date_.” Hackett pushed his plate away and twisted in his chair to face the other man. “Why didn’t you tell me who you were having dinner with?”

He dropped his hands away from his face to reveal a wicked grin. “You’re very sexy when you’re jealous.”

“Hmm.” Hackett told himself that he was too damn old to play these kinds of games. “Just so you know, I was tested last month, all clear.”

“Me too.” Dillan rested his hand on Hackett’s leg. “So...about dessert? Would you like another tour of the _Normandy?_ ”

“Come back to my quarters.” Hackett stood up and headed out of the restaurant without bothering to see if Dillan was following.

_He wasn’t._

He turned back to find Dillan had wandered off in another direction.  It took him a few minutes to track him down to one of the shooting ranges on the station. He put in ear plugs before heading into the range.  Leaning back against the wall, Hackett watched Dillan take shot after shot with a sniper rifle. The shooting continued until the clip had been emptied and the target had a single hole in it.  Dillan had managed to fire every single bullet through the same spot.

“Impressive shooting,” Hackett remarked.

“It’s what I do.” Dillan shrugged off the praise as he secured the weapon and put it back in the armory. “I’m not fucking around with anyone else.”

Hackett pulled the earplugs out and tossed them aside. The seriousness in the man’s face seemed completely out of place. “I…”

“I have a reputation.” Dillan tilted his head to the side with eyes that had lost their normal glint. “I’ve cultivated it on purpose. And I like to flirt. Provoking you was an added benefit.  But…you need to understand that I don’t take advantage of men, and I never go around behind someone’s back. I’m honest about what I do.  It’s clear that the idea of me fucking other men is distasteful to you.  So I won’t, that doesn’t make me _yours_. It makes me _respectful.”_

Hackett rubbed his beard thoughtfully while he tried to decipher what was behind the _speech._ “So what _would_ make you mine?”

The sharp intake of breath told him that wasn’t a question that Dillan had anticipated.  With a quick glance around to ensure that they didn’t have an audience, Hackett pushed him back into a corner of the shooting range that was out of sight of the security cameras.  He dragged his beard across the stubble on his jaw before pressing his lips against Dillan’s in a bruising kiss.

“Steven.”

“You’ll say it eventually.” Hackett breathed heavily against Dillan’s neck. “You’ll say that you’re mine.”

“You’re definitely mine.” Dillan smirked at him while raising his leg to grind his thigh into Hackett’s hard cock. “So your place? Dessert?”

Hackett rolled his eyes at him. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Fuck me senseless?” Dillan slid his hands into his jeans pocket as he sauntered out of the range.

Hackett formulated his plan on the way back to his quarters. He might be too old for jealous games but he was experienced enough to run circles around Dillan if he wanted.  He decided that perhaps it was time for the man to _not_ get what he wanted quite so easily.

The look on Dillan’s face when Hackett pulled out a couple slices of cheesecake for dessert was priceless.  They ate while they watched a documentary on the greatest human military minds. He had to deter straying hands a few times but Dillan did finally get drawn into what they were watching.

 Hackett had done research on war documentaries once he’d realized that Dillan enjoyed them. Half-way through the third one, they both started to drift off to sleep. 

He yawned and stretched his arms careful of his new tattoo. “Time for me to get back to the ship.”

“Stay.” Hackett caught the edge of his t-shirt to hold him still.

“Why?” Dillan had that serious look in his eyes again.

“I like you in my bed.” Hackett watched the expressive blue eyes that looked down at him.  He caught the hesitation that was followed by intrigue and finally resignation. 

His resolve started to fade as they stepped into his bedroom.  Dillan stripped down to his boxers and fell back on the bed with his arms behind his head. He seemed amused by what Hackett was trying to do.  He didn’t even mutter a complaint when Hackett pulled him in for a deep kiss before rolling away from him.

Hackett generally slept on his side so he pretended to sleep while he felt Dillan toss and turn repeatedly beside him.  Indecision rolled off of him even without Hackett seeing his face or hearing it in his deep sighs.  Eventually, Dillan shifted closer to him.  He felt a hesitant hand touch his arm and start to pull back.  He grabbed it and eased it over him, tucking it under his own arm.

“I know what you’re doing.” Dillan settled against him with his head resting on Hackett’s pillow, his lips pressed against his neck. “It won’t work. I don’t know how to _be_ in a relationship.”

“Being afraid is not the same thing as not knowing.” Hackett grazed his thumb across the forearm draped over him. “Sleep.”

* * *

Dillan woke up to find himself wound around Hackett. He eased his arm off of him and started to roll out of bed.  He was stopped by strong arm wrapping around him and a muttered ‘going somewhere?’ “My ship.”

“Breakfast.” Hackett tugged him back against his body.  He could feel Hackett’s beard rubbing against his back. “First.”

“Are you capable of complete sentences?” Dillan tried to smirk through a yawn unsuccessfully.

“I can fuck you into the mattress if I wanted to.” Hackett bit the spot between his shoulder blades. “Go back to sleep, Dillan.”

“Why? The former sounds so much more interesting.” He twisted around so they were face to face.

“You have two choices, breakfast or sleeping followed by breakfast.” Hackett frowned at him when he leaned in to run his tongue along his adam’s apple. “I am _not_ on the menu.”

Dillan nipped at the skin that he’s just licked. “What makes you think I have the patience to wait?”

“Because you want to know why I’m doing it.” Hackett gave him a knowing look.

He decided that answering that without a carefully crafted lie was impossible. So he bit Hackett on the neck then rested his head back on the pillow to go back to sleep.  He tried to ignore how much the deep chuckle from Hackett seemed to resonate in his body.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Aside from official communication regarding the missions that Fifth Fleet assigned to the _Normandy_ , Hackett hadn’t heard a word from Dillan in days.  The _Commander_ had been very driven it seemed to clear out every assignment.  It was impressive how much he’d gotten done.  They had even managed to save Terra Nova _and_ deactivate the rogue VI on Luna.

The _Normandy_ had apparently gone back to Pinnacle Station or so Hackett thought when he received their current coordinates.  It wasn’t until Chakwas sent him a report on the injuries Dillan sustained on Luna that he figured out where he’d gone.  He had apparently entered one of the rooms on Luna and gotten separated from his squad.

_Reckless._

Dillan had fought his way through the drones on his own until he could destroy the VI and unseal the doors.  Hackett winced looking at the damage that he’d taken in the process.  He handled a few things in his office and then made his way to Intai’Sei.  He found Dillan asleep on the couch when he got there in nothing but grey boxers.

“Dillan?” Hackett sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.

_No response._

He shook Dillan’s shoulder to try to wake him up.  A hand shot out to grab him by the throat as startled blue eyes met his. “Bad dream?”

“Shit.” Dillan released him immediately. He shifted up into a seated position. “Sorry. Don’t _ever_ wake me up like that, _ever._ I tend to…”

“React violently?” Hackett waved off the explanation. “How’s your back?”

“Damn doctor.” He slouched into the cushions with a groan. “I’m fine. Back’s a little bruised up, not the worst injuries that I’ve suffered. I would’ve loved to try that VI training program as it was meant to be though.”

“Why did you rush in without making sure your squad was behind you?” Hackett found his gaze straying over the chiseled chest in front of him. He tried to tell himself to _focus_.

Dillan completely ignored his question and ran his fingers across his upper body slowly.  He appeared highly amused at the way Hackett’s eyes followed their movements.  He drifted them down to rest on the crotch of his boxers for a moment.  Then with a smirk, he shifted his cock out of the top of his boxers and finally just shoved the underwear off completely.  Hackett watched as he stroked himself at a leisurely pace that was clearly designed to drive _him_ crazy.

“ _Dillan._ ”

“I _don’t_ enjoy having blue balls.  I generally avoid having them.” He scraped his thumbnail casually over the head of his cock. “I could’ve slept with…I could give you a list. And here I sit, horny, waiting for what exactly?”

“Now why would you have blue balls?” Hackett shifted forward to lift Dillan’s hand off of his cock.

“Either let go, or do it for me.” Blue eyes clashed angrily with his.

“Aren’t you supposed to be relaxing? Can your back handle such…exertion?” Hackett kept a firm hold on him.

“Steven.” Dillan groaned in frustration but Hackett noted with amusement that he hadn’t tried to pull his hand away yet.  It wouldn’t have taken much for the Commander to break free yet he sat watching him with a mixture of curiosity and aggravation in his eyes. “I will hump the fucking couch if I have to.”

“Now why would you do that?” With his eyes still on Dillan’s, Hackett slid to his knees and eased between his legs.  His hands rested on his knees and pushed them further part.  He didn’t move any closer however and chuckle darkly when Dillan tried to shift closer to him. “Ask.”

Dillan’s head fell back against the couch with a grunt. “Why?”

“I _want_ you to _ask._ ” Hackett began to massage the muscular thighs underneath his fingers.

“Control freak.” Dillan’s fingers dug into the couch cushion underneath him.

“Do you want my mouth on your cock?” Hackett let his drop down lower.  He’d already noticed the affect that it seemed to have on Dillan.  “Can you imagine my tongue drifting over the head, tasting your precum?”

“Fuck.” His eyes darkened as Hackett’s words washed over him. “Do something useful with your mouth aside from driving me insane…please?”

With an amused chuckle, Hackett leaned down to flick his tongue across the head of his cock.  He took his time so much so that Dillan did end up asking over and over again for Hackett to take his _fucking cock_ into his mouth. But he continued to gently lick and stroke him with just his fingertips.  Mind blowing orgasms took time to build, and he had a feeling that patience wasn’t something Dillan was used to having to have in the bedroom.

Dillan was almost sobbing with frustration when Hackett finally took him all the way into his mouth.  His hips bucked up off the couch immediately and his fingers gripped Hackett’s shoulders tightly.  For a smooth bastard, his litany of words was mostly incoherent and muttered under his breath. 

Hackett toyed with his balls, tugging and squeezing while he controlled his movements over the cock in his mouth.  The fingers on his shoulders clenched harder. He let his hand drift back further to tease the line from his balls to his ass.  Dillan just about came off of the couch as his climax took him by surprise.  He looked completely spent when he’d finished.

“I’m gonna need a minute.” Dillan sank back on the couch.

Hackett moved up to sit on the other end of the couch.  He was pleasantly surprised when Dillan shifted around on his back and his head rested on Hackett’s leg. “Take all the time that you need.”

“I know what you’re trying to do.” Dillan repeated his words from a week or so ago as Hackett rested his arm on Dillan’s chest.

“And?”

“I’ll end up disappointing you.” Dillan closed his eyes and relaxed back against him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The pyramid of shot glasses on the bar had gotten impressively high.  Dillan slammed back another shot of tequila and topped the structure.  The Asari behind the bar had wisely chosen _not_ to argue with his dabbling in ancient architecture.

If he drank enough, Dillan thought perhaps he could get Ash dying out of his mind.  It might drown out the little voice that echoed in his head sounding suspiciously like his father.  It kept calling him a failure and pointing out all the flaws of his plan on Virmire.

_Definitely his father._

Dillan flicked one of the bottom tiers of the pyramid to watch it collapse in on itself.  The bartender did glare at him then.  He chose to pretend that he hadn’t seen it.  He thought he’d make another pyramid.

“Your building seems to have fallen.” Hackett picked up one of the glasses that was rolling towards the edge of the bar.

“It’s not the only thing.” Dillan saluted him and downed another shot.

“Your crew is at Flux, I went there first.” Hackett started to clean up the mess of glasses strewn across the bar.

“Chora’s Den could care less about one more drunken marine.” He waved the bartender over to order another drink.  He wasn’t drunk yet, but he intended to get there.

“I think you’ve had enough, Dillan.” Hackett dismissed the Asari with a shake of his head.

“Funny.” He looked Hackett over from head to toe. “When did my mother turn into a man with a beard and sexy voice?”

Hackett sighed with a faintly amused smile. “Let me take you to one of the Alliance officer’s quarters to sleep this off. You won’t do your crew or William’s memory any good if you’re drunk.”

“I didn’t do her any good sober when she was alive.  Why would it be different with her memory?” Dillan reached out to pay his tab but Hackett beat him to the punch.

* * *

Hackett had received messages from Anderson and Hannah.  The former to inform him that Udina was a slimy bastard.  The latter had been filled with concern about how Dillan would handle losing someone on his squad.  The Kilimanjaro was nowhere near Citadel space so she’d wondered if Hackett would check in on him.  He hadn’t expected to find the man constructing with glassware at a strip club.

The ride across the Citadel to the Alliance housing block was…eventful.  Dillan had two moods when drunk it seemed.  He was either introspectively angry oar aggravatingly horny.  Hackett didn’t know which was the easiest to deal with while maneuvering through traffic.

He spent most of the trip batting hands away from the zipper on his dress pants.  Dillan huffed at him in annoyance.  He had to give the drunken marine credit though.  He managed to walk a surprisingly straight line as he followed Hackett into the apartment.

“I only actually drank five, maybe six shots of tequila. I borrowed the other glasses.” Dillan dropped down on the couch with a maddening smirk on his face. “I am however open to offers of comfort of the physical variety.”

“Tell me about Virmire.” Hackett glanced over to find Dillan undressing. “What _are_ you doing?”

“It’s very, very warm in here.” Dillan shrugged with an innocent grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes..

“You’re not a failure.” Hackett suddenly recalled part of Hannah’s message.

“My mother messaged you.” He slouched back on the couch, completely casual with his nudity. “I should’ve known.”

Hackett grabbed a blanket and tossed it at him. “You look cold.”

Dillan glanced down between his legs. “No, I don’t.”

Hackett pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you ever capable of having a genuinely serious conversation?”

“No.”

“Dillan.” He felt a surge of frustration. “It’s your first full command, a member of the ground team died. You had to choose…talk to me.”

“Do you know why I saved _everyone_ on Elysium?” Dillan covered himself with the blanket.  He leaned forward with his forearms on his knees and stared at his interlaced fingers.

“Fear of failure.” Hackett gave him a knowing look. “You aren’t the only marine who’s driven by demons.”

Dillan dragged a hand through his hair. “My demons were buried, both of them.”

“You did a good job on Virmire. You saved several of the salarians being held hostage not to mention the STG team itself and Alenko.  And you stopped Saren’s experiments with the krogan.” Hackett crouched in front of him so Dillan was force to look in his eyes. “As the commanding officer of the Fifth Fleet, I’m incredibly proud of what you managed to accomplish.”

“Yeah.” Dillan moved off the couch and away from Hackett. He started to pull on his clothes. “I’m going to the gym.”

“Sit down.” Hackett grabbed the edge of his shirt to pull him back over to the couch.

“My day was much simpler when I was building with shot glasses.” Dillan seemed amused by the fact that he was once again sitting in just boxers and a t-shirt. “Ash was a good marine.  She went down fighting.”

“Then she went like all marines want to go.” Hackett needed to think quickly.  A quick fuck _wouldn’t help_ even though that was likely to be Dillan’s go to choice. “I have an idea.”

“Does it involve removing or putting on clothing?” Dillan’s crooked grin was back.

“Both.”

“Intriguing,” Dillan laughed. “In which order?”

“Clothes first.”

Dillan’s hand shot out to grab Hackett by the shirt. He yanked him over into a kiss. “I need you…I need…something more.  You did promise to fuck me into the bed.  I’ll make dinner for us afterwards.”

“Need?” Hackett glanced down at the strong fingers wrinkling his uniform.

“Don’t look so damn pleased with yourself.” Dillan pulled him in for a second kiss.

“While I like your plan, it really isn’t what you _need._ ” Hackett reached behind him to grab Dillan’s jeans.

Dillan stared down at the jeans Hackett handed him. “Are we going somewhere?”

* * *

Hackett led Dillan through the various hallways in the Alliance ward on the Citadel until they reached the chapel.  Dillan remembered Ash telling him about her faith.  With a sigh, he moved to the altar to light a candle for her.

He crouched in front of a plaque on the wall nearby dedicated to fallen soldiers.  He rested his hand on it and in whispered tones, unloaded the thoughts that had been swirling in his mind.  He made his apologies and promises.  He was going to get fucking Saren, for Ash…for her squad on Eden Prime.

It was at least an hour before he stood up to find Hackett still seated at the back of the chapel waiting patiently.  Dillan wandered over to sit next to him on the pew.  They sat in silence.

Dillan kept his eyes on the candle that he’d lit.  Ash would’ve liked the little room.  He wondered if she’d visited it when they had been on the Citadel previously.  Hackett’s leg pressed against his lightly. He had a feeling that it was just to let him know that he wasn’t alone.

“Let me make you dinner.” Dillan broke the quiet. He squeezed Hackett’s knee lightly.  He caught the concern that lingered in Hackett’s eyes.

“Dinner?”

“Yes.  And just so you know, I’m planning on enjoying _you_ for dessert this time.” Dillan stood up and started for the door.  He paused to turn back and wrapped his arms around Hackett.  He was probably crushing the air out of the man. “Thank you, _Steven_.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it is short and lacks smut, I shall make up for it in the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Hackett leaned against the counter in the kitchen to watch as Dillan made dinner.  He appeared to be making bacon and egg hash of some sort.  He’d claimed that breakfast was his specialty.  From the way that he’d handled the knife, it wasn’t the only specialty as far as cooking went.

“Do you always cook dinner dressed only in jeans?” Hackett admired the way Dillan’s back muscles rippled as he moved.

“You’re admiring the view so don’t even pretend to complain.  I’d do it completely naked, but I have feelings about grease burns on my cock.” Dillan flipped the food in the pan with a seamless flick of his wrist. The movement was so casual that Hackett had a feeling it was a practiced move.  Blue eyes glanced back at him. “Impressed?”

He walked up behind Dillan. He reached around him to pick one of the pieces of potato out of the pan and popped it in his mouth. “Adequate.”

Dillan elbowed him in the side. “Adequate? There is nothing _adequate_ about me or my food.”

Hackett grabbed him firmly by the hips and swung him away from the stove.  He backed him up against the fridge door.  Leaning forward, he captured Dillan’s bottom lip with his teeth and sucked on it for a moment.  With a sly grin, he let go of Dillan and pushed him back over to finish cooking. “Maybe more than adequate.”

 _“Son-of-a-bitch.”_ Dillan seemed to need a moment to compose himself before he was once again cooking with _a cocky_ smirk on his face.

They ate on the couch side by side. Dillan had his leg draped over Hackett’s.  They talked about the _Normandy’s_ lockout and about Saren.   Dillan always seemed to be surprised when Hackett agreed with his assessment of situations.  They argued over strategies for dealing with Saren and Sovereign.

Dinner was barely finished when Anderson interrupted.  He contacted Dillan over his comm. He had _an idea._ With Dillan on his way to meet the Captain at Flux, Hackett decided it was time to meet up with the Fifth Fleet. If there was a battle coming, he wouldn’t be much good to anyone if he was still on the Citadel.

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Court-Martial._

_So…if a commander in the Alliance were to say commandeer his ship when it was locked out, what are the chances of that particular officer spending the rest of his career in the brig?_

_We’re heading to Ilos._

_I may have stolen a ship._

_Dillan_

_PS: I make a damn sexy pirate._

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: The Brig._

_I think it’s going to depend on whether or not you are successful on Ilos._

_I’ve already received an angry message from Udina.  He seems to have walked straight into Anderson’s fist.  Shocking._

_Good luck with Saren._

_The fleets have gathered in case we’re needed._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Chapel._

_It’s been on my mind all day._

_Why did you do that for me?_

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Chapel._

_You deserve to have someone by your side that will be there for you._

_I like you. I’d like to be that man in your life._

_I’m growing to care about you a great deal.  And I realize that that is probably going to make you run in the opposite direction.  But you did ask, and I think an honest answer is best._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Caring for me._

_Is a terrible idea.  It really is._

_And it’s a terrible idea that I seem to be reciprocating despite my best efforts to never do that again._

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Reciprocation._

_Once you’ve defeated Saren, take shore-leave with me?_

_I’ve got an old buddy from the First Contact War who has a place in Maui.  The surfing there is brilliant.  We could spend a week or two on the beach and in the water._

_Say yes._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Surfing._

_That is bribery._

_And bribery is very, very wrong._

_I believe there are regs against that._

_Tsk, for shame._

_Dillan_

_PS: That’s a yes._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_Torture._

Dillan had clearly been very, very bad at some point in his life.  He sat on the beach watching Hackett paddle out to catch a save.  His shoulder had been injured in the last battle with Saren.  The injury needed another day or two before he was allowed to surf…or engage in any other fun activities.

It wasn’t all that bad if he was honest.  He got to relax in the sun in Maui watching Hackett ride a surfboard.  It might be the sexiest thing that he’d ever seen at the beach. Hackett rode the wave all the way to shore and walked towards Dillan.

Setting the surfboard down, Hackett grabbed the towel that Dillan offered to dry off his face and hair. He looked good in dark blue board shorts.  Dillan moved up on his knees so he could reach the drawstring ties to pull him closer.

Hackett reached down to lift him up to his feet. “You’re supposed to be resting that shoulder.”

“I don’t need to use my hands.” Dillan’s lips hovered hover Hackett’s.

“Lunch, pain meds and then we’ll see.” Hackett grabbed his board and started towards the condo that they’d been staying at.

Dillan followed at a slower pace.  Hackett was rinsing off under the outside shower. _No one_ should be allowed to look that good under streams of water.  His grazed drifted down his back.  A quiet cough drew his attention up to find amused blue eyes watching him.

They ate a light lunch on the deck overlooking the beach.   It gave them a great view of some of the local surfers.  The meds made Dillan drowsy however and he went inside to take a nap.

* * *

Hackett moved to the terminal in the living room to check messages. With nothing important in his inbox, he headed into the bedroom to find Dillan already asleep on his back.   He reclined no his back next to him.  He’d barely gotten comfortable when the other man rolled over until he was draped across Hackett.

“Dillan?”

Silence followed, Hackett tried to shift him over since it was better on his shoulder for him to sleep flat on his back.  But even groggy, Dillan appeared to know _exactly_ what he wanted.  He stayed where he was for hours like an oversized blanket that smelled like sun, sand and sex.  Hackett sternly reminded himself that Dillan _was not_ cleared for activity of any kind.

“Remember when I said that I might be reciprocating your feelings?” Dillan’s voice was gruff with sleep.

“I do recall that particular message quite vividly.” Hackett opened his eyes.

Dillan moved up so his body covered Hackett’s.  He rested his chin on Hackett’s chest. “I went from wanting to fuck you to wanting to fuck you while _playing house.”_

“Play house?” Hackett chuckled and Dillan’s head bobbed up and down with the movement.

Dillan grinned at him though he still looked half asleep. “So if _Admiral Hackett_ is my boyfriend, does that mean that mean that I have a ‘get out of the brig free’ card the next time I’m drinking with my buddies?”

“ _No._ ” Hackett repeated Dillan’s sentence in his head. “Did you say boyfriend?”

 _“Maybe.”_ Dillan started to shift his body down.

“We had this conversation twice today already, you are not…” Hackett’s words stuck in his throat as Dillan feather his tongue along his cock.

“Fuck the doctor’s advice. I don’t need my _shoulders_ for this.” He licked Hackett’s hardening cock. He lifted up for a moment. “Do you _need_ something to occupy your mouth?”

Without waiting for an answer, Dillan spun his body around.  His cock brushed against Hackett’s lips.  The last few days had been a long tease for both men.  It wasn’t long before they were thrusting into each other’s mouths. 

Hackett tried to keep the pace from becoming too hard given the shoulder injury. The man on top of him didn’t seem to be all that concerned.  Dillan drove his cock into Hackett’s mouth as his head moved up and down as well. 

He longed to flip Dillan on his back and pound into him.  He settled for enjoying the mouth gliding lover his cock.  The two men were taken to the edge as their moans were muffled by each other’s cocks.  It was Dillan who came first, spurting into Hackett’s mouth.  He was on the receiving end of his own mouthful a moment later. 

Dillan licked Hackett clean and then carefully rolled over on his back.  His arm rested on Hackett’s leg. “Fuck, I needed that.”

“So…about that boyfriend thing.” Hackett didn’t get to finish his thought. 

The terminal in the living room beeped loudly with an incoming vid-comm hail.  It turned out to be _Councilor_ Anderson.  The council wanted the _Normandy_ to investigate several ships that had gone missing.  They didn’t seem to be concerned with the fact that the crew had been giving shore-leave for another three weeks.

Hackett found Dillan in the walk-in closet in the closet throwing his clothes into his bag. “There will be other shore-leaves.  Hawaii isn’t going anywhere.”

“The shuttle is going to be here in a couple of hours.” Dillan glanced a little sadly down at the swim trunks in his hand. “I never did get to surf.”

“We’ll come back when you finish the investigation.” Hackett knew his buddy would let him use the condo whenever he wanted.

“Is that a _promise_ Admiral?” Dillan gave him a crooked grin before turning back to his packing.

Hackett could feel the uneasy in him.  He moved into the closet and rested his hands on Dillan’s shoulders to turn him around. “I can always order the _Normandy_ to dock in Maui.”

“Such an abuse of power, it’s kinda sexy. Are you single?” Dillan dragged his stubble along Hackett’s neck.

“No. And neither are you.” Hackett lifted his chin with his fingers. “You’re all mine.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_Three weeks later…_

Hackett had been invited to dinner by Hannah Shepard.  He was already running a little late when the report of a mayday came across his desk.  He had the Fifth Fleet scramble whatever ships were nearby to the Omega Nebula to find survivors. 

When he stepped into the restaurant an hour and a half later, his heart was heavy.  Hannah and Jamieson had finished up their entrees and appeared to be preparing to leave.  He stood beside the table with uneasiness in his stomach.

“Steven?” Jamieson caught the seriousness in his eyes.

“Fifth Fleet received a mayday two hours ago from a ship in the Amada system. The _Normandy_ was attacked by an as yet unknown vessel.  We managed to find all the survivors that made it off of the ship before it was completely destroyed.” Hackett steeled himself for the inevitable question.

“Oh god.” Hannah reached across the table to clutch Jamieson’s hand. “Dillan?”

“He…” Hackett spoke with his jaw clenched tightly. “From what I’ve learned, Dillan got the crew into escape pods. Moreau saw him last when he pushed the pilot into the last pod.”

“Is he…” Jamieson couldn’t quite finish his question.

“Moreau.” Hackett took a breath before trying again. “Dillan was knocked out of the wreckage by an explosion. We haven’t found his body yet.”

“Body?” Hannah whispered. “You don’t think he survived.”

“We know that he didn’t survive.” Hackett wanted to be in the privacy of his quarters so he could bury his grief in a glass of scotch.  He stayed by the table instead to answer their questions. “The last data that we managed to obtain from the transmitter in his suit before it went dark indicated that…he wasn’t breathing. I am _so_ very sorry, Hannah.”

Hannah blinked back tears; she looked blindly down at the table for a moment. “How did he die do we know?”

“No,” he lied.  The transmitter had reported an oxygen leak.  Hackett knew enough about oxygen deprivation in space to know that Dillan’s death had likely been a painful one.  Hannah didn’t need to know that. “No, we were unable to get any further readings from the suit.”

“Steven.” She called out to him when he turned to leave. “You made him happy again, thank you for that.”

“I need to get back to my office. I’ll keep you updated.” He left them to their grief.

He held it together until he got to the privacy of his own office.  He collapsed back against the wall and stared blankly at his desk.  All he could think of was, why now? Why now when he’d finally gotten Dillan _into_ an actual relationship? Dillan had stopped running away from it and…it was all for nothing.

* * *

_Two Years Later_

Hackett and the now retired Admiral Jamiesonwere having drinks with Councilor Anderson at the new Dark Star Lounge on the Citadel.  They were discussing the recent rumors surrounding sightings of Commander Dillan Shepard on Omega.  The rumors also seemed to place him with Cerberus.

“No goddamn way.” Jamieson slammed his glass down on the table. “No way is Dillan going anywhere near those terrorist bastards. It’s not him.”

“What if it is Dillan?” Hackett had been asking himself that for days.

“That is an _excellent_ question.” The man in question stepped up to their table.  “For the record, I can prove that it’s me.”

“Dillan.”

“No, I can see the doubt in your eyes.” He raised his hand to silence all of them. “There’s a report buried in my file regarding an incident with Doyle.  Jamieson was the one who found me tied to a bed, badly beaten.  Now that isn’t really a secret, you all know it and so do others.  It’s not impossible for Cerberus to have uncovered that with a little hacking.  There is _one_ thing that only the two of us know.”

“You don’t…” Jamieson tried to stop him.

“I do.” DIllan met Hackett’s eyes briefly before turning towards his old CO. “Doyle wrote on my body.  He covered every inch of my skin just about with…words that I won’t repeat.  It took hours to get them all off of me.  We never told anyone and it never went in the file, officially or unofficially.”

“It’s definitely him.” Jamieson stood up and threw his arms around the Commander.  “Your mom is going to be over the goddamn moon, son.”

Hackett stayed quiet while the other two greeted Dillan and then grilled him with questions.  Dillan answered their questions. He kept sending looks Hackett’s way.  He declined their invitation for drinks and left with a promise to Jamieson to stay in touch.  Hackett caught up to him outside the lounge.

“Going somewhere?” Hackett picked up his pace to walk beside him.

“Back to my ship.” Dillan stopped before the steps that led to the lower ward.

“I missed you,” he said honestly.

“No hot men falling into your bed?” Dillan appeared to be trying to keep it light but the question lingered in his eyes.

“None.” Hackett couldn’t reassure him in the middle of a stairwell on the Citadel.  He grabbed Dillan by the arm and moved towards the nearest skycab terminal. “I can’t say what I need to say with an audience.”

They were both silent on the ride to the apartment Hackett kept on the Citadel.  Once inside, he had Dillan pressed up to the wall. His fingers gripped his t-shirt tightly.  His nose skimmed along Dillan’s neck.

“No one has been in my bed since you died.” Hackett moved in for a tentative first kiss. “Since my _boyfriend_ passed away.”

“Even now? Even though I’m _with_ Cerberus.” Dillan seemed to be holding himself back.

Hackett moved his hands up to hold his head firmly so Dillan couldn’t look away. “Yes, even now with your _temporary_ dealings with Cerberus.”

“So…my shoulder’s fine.” Dillan remarked with a slow, crooked smile that was finally echoed in his eyes.  The dark blue eyes that Hackett had spent nights tossing and turning over.

“Is it?”  Hackett chuckled as he remembered the few days spent in Maui.

“I vote for sex now, meaning conversation later…much later.” He spun them around so he was the one holding Hackett against the wall.  He kept one hand on Hackett’s waist and the other drifted across his beard before resting on his shoulder.  He leaned in for a kiss. “You really haven’t forgotten me?”

_“Impossible.”_


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan sat on Hackett’s couch with his head leaned back and his eyes closed.  Hackett had stepped out to speak with Anderson.  Kicking his boots off, he swung around to recline on his back.  He might as well make himself at home.

The conversation that he’d eavesdropped on earlier was still whirling around in his head. If he was honest with himself, Dillan was surprised that they’d believed him at all.  He knew that others would be harder to convince.  The door opened again and he tilted his head to see Hackett coming back into the apartment.

“The council is going to want to speak with you; I told Anderson that you’d see him in his office tomorrow.” Hackett seemed unsure of what to do with himself.  Dillan would’ve laughed if he didn’t feel a similar awkwardness. “I’ve got plans for you until then.  God I’ve missed you.”

“Of course you have,” Dillan smirked. “Look at me.”

Hackett crouched in front of the couch.  His fingers traced one of the new scars on Dillan’s cheek. “We were on the brink of something special two years ago.  I’d really like to continue with it.”

Dillan rolled over on his side and then sat up.  He’d felt lost when he woke up in Lazarus station.  The whole time that he’d been gathering up the courage to see if anyone in the Alliance believed him, he’d really been thinking about Hackett. 

“Dillan?” Hackett shifted forward to rest his hands on Dillan’s knees.

He covered the hands on his knees with his own fingers. “I remember dying.  I remember feeling lost in the darkness, I woke up with the same damn feeling.”

Hackett rested his head against their joined hands. “You can use me as an anchor point, Dillan. I’m not going anywhere.”

He leaned his head down against Hackett’s. “You are going _somewhere._ ”

“Dillan.”

“Your bed would be _so_ much more comfortable.” He lifted Hackett up to his feet and then stood up as well. “I really _need_ to feel you without the damn uniform.”

“Is that all?” Hackett raised Dillan’s chin and as always, his gaze seemed to pierce through Dillan. “I can do better than that.”

The voice alone was almost enough for Dillan to make a mess of his boxers.  He glared at Hackett when he chuckled at him.  They made their way quickly into the bedroom.

“Let me.” Dillan brushed Hackett’s fingers from his shirt.

He slowly removed each article of clothing.  He trailed his fingers through the greying hairs on Hackett’s chest.  His forehead rested on Hackett’s shoulder as Dillan inhaled deeply.  He wanted to breathe in everything that was quintessentially Hackett.  Hackett’s arm came up and he held Dillan firmly by the back of the head.

“Fuck me.”

Hackett’s hand tightened slightly. “Dillan.”

He stepped away from him and pulled his t-shirt off, followed quickly by his jeans and boxers.  He grazed a finger over a scar on his abdomen. “The scars will fade at some point.  I’ll have to get my tattoos back though.”

Hackett crouched down to drag his tongue along the line that Dillan had drawn with his finger. “I have missed how you taste.”

The smart comment that Dillan was about to make disappeared the moment that Hackett’s mouth engulfed his cock.  His knees almost buckled underneath him.  Hackett chuckled at him again; the vibrations sent pleasant sensations traveling through his body.  He bucked into the lips around him.

They ended up lying side by side on the bed, with their legs crisscrossed together.  Hackett had an arm around Dillan.  His hand slid along his spine before delving lower.  He toyed with him for a while and then finally lubed his fingers.

“Is this what you wanted?” Hackett’s voice was low and wicked against Dillan’s neck as he worked two fingers into him.

“Fuck yes.” Dillan’s cock was pressed between them.  He moved back against the fingers and then forward to rub his cock against Hackett’s abdomen.  With his fingers pulled out, Hackett lubed himself. He took his time with driving into Dillan. “Oh fuck, just like that.”

“That’s right. I did say that I’d make you mine,” Hackett teased him.

“Careful, old man, I wouldn’t want to break you.” Dillan groaned when Hackett pulled out then thrust hard into him. “Again, damn it, again.”

“Who’s breaking whom?”

They rocked together on their side.  Hackett shifted to angle his cock to hit Dillan’s prostate with each movement.  He thought he’d need more.  But with each thrust, his cock found the perfect friction between their hard stomachs.

“Come for me.  I want to feel you tighten around me.  I want to feel you lose yourself because of me.” Hackett’s words were all the motivation that Dillan required.

Hackett slammed harder into him.  Dillan found himself spurting over both of them.  Hackett pumped into him a few more times until he was coming as well.   

“Still got it.” Dillan smirked at Hackett.

“What you’ve got is a mess.” Hackett bucked his hips one last time. “And _I’ve_ still got _you.”_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Waking up with a strong, warm body wrapped around him, Dillan had an almost uncomfortable tightening in his chest.  He reached up hesitantly to hold the arm around him.  He wanted to stay where he was, not have to go back to the _Cerberus-altered Normandy_. He felt like he was constantly under observation on it. 

He could almost hear what his father would’ve said if he’d been alive.  The bitter disappointment would have been obvious in his voice.  His _father_ would probably have taken great pleasure in calling Dillan a traitor.

Hackett shifted slightly behind him. “This is _usually_ the point at which I wake up to an empty bed and the dream turns into a painful reality.”

“You dream about me?” Dillan’s lips curved up into a crooked grin.  He twisted around so that they were facing each other. “I _am_ very unforgettable. Have you seen my ass?”

“I have, up close and personal.” Hackett’s voice was still slightly rough with sleep. “I have a mission for you.”

“Seriously?” Dillan rolled on his back with a groan. “I’m barely alive for a minute and you’re using me as an errand boy again?”

“We found the _Normandy’s_ , the original ship, resting place,” Hackett said cautiously.

Dillan felt his insides freeze up.  “Why…no…what do you need me to do?”

“There are still twenty missing crew members, perhaps you could see if you can find their dog tags at least? We’d like you to place a memorial as well.  It seemed right for you to do visit first.” He continued completely missing the shuttered look on Dillan’s face.

“We?”

“The Admiralty…”

“The Admiralty can suck my dick.” Dillan pushed away from Hackett and moved off of the bed.  He moved almost mechanically as he got dressed. “Send the coordinates; I’ll go _visit_ my grave so you don’t have to.”

“Dillan.” Hackett shot off the bed to pull him into his arms. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“The _Admiralty_ won’t even acknowledge my existence.  I heard your conversation with Anderson.  I doubt the council’s going to be much different.  They don’t want me to _officially_ be alive but they don’t mind _using_ me either.” Dillan leaned his head against Hackett’s shoulder. 

“There’s a fifth fleet ship docked here.” Hackett brought a hand up to cup Dillan’s head. “It’s at _my_ disposal.”

“Oh?”

“I thought maybe we could go together.  You can leave the _Normandy_ here.” Hackett firmly dragged his fingers through Dillan’s short hair. “Did you honestly thing I’d let you face that alone? What the hell kind of boyfriend would I be if I did that?”

“Boyfriend.” Dillan bit lightly into the naked shoulder under him. “My…boyfriend.”

“Yes.”

He tilted his head to the side to meet Hackett’s gaze. “Are you sure that’s what you still want?”

“We had this conversation…a few times already, Dillan.” Hackett used his hold on Dillan’s head to move him closer.  He grazed his lips against his. “You _are_ my boyfriend. _Mine._ Understood?”

“I’m not going to say it.” Dillan flicked his tongue out to tease Hackett’s mouth.

“It doesn’t change the facts.” Hackett moved his other hand down to grip Dillan firmly by the ass to tug him into his body.

“True.” He was getting painfully hard in his jeans. “If I’d known that you were going to be like this, I wouldn’t have bothered to get dressed.”

“We should head out to the ship.” Hackett didn’t release him though. “Say it. Please?”

_“Steven.”_

“It’s important to me.” Hackett pressed his nose into Dillan’s neck.  The tight hold and deep breath that he took made Dillan wonder how hard the last two years had been on the man.

“Hey, old man.” Dillan tapped on the back of Hackett’s head until he looked at him. “If you’re my boyfriend and that means that I’m _yours._ ”

“I told you I’d get you to say it.” Hackett smirked at him before squeezing his ass.

Dillan dropped down to his knees.  He wanted to wipe the smile from Hackett’s face.  He pushed the man’s hands away from him and began running his tongue _casually_ around the head of his cock.   There was nothing _casual_ about the way that he took him all the way into his mouth. 

There was no smirk when he looked up at Hackett.  His eyes were closed and he rested the palm of one hand against Dillan’s face.  His fingers stroked the stubble covered cheek underneath them.  There was tenderness on Hackett’s face. 

He’d started this as a tease, but Dillan found it hard to continue along those lines.  He covered the hand on his head and squeezed it once.  When Hackett opened his eyes to meet his gaze, Dillan began moving his mouth in earnest.  His other hand reached up to play with his balls.  He kept eye contact with him even while Hackett started to come, filling Dillan’s mouth rapidly.

Hackett waited until he’d recovered a little and then yanked Dillan off the floor to wrap him tightly in his arms. He pressed his lips against Dillan’s ear. “I don’t want you to respond or say a word. But you need to know that when you died, I realized too late that I’d _started_ to fall in love with you.  I know we aren’t ready for that. So don’t answer, don’t make a smart comment.  Just…be mine, that’s all.”

It was a declaration that would normally have made Dillan bolt for the door.  He knew that by _‘we’_ Hackett really meant Dillan.  He was clearly worried that the level of feeling would be too much for him.   He honored Hackett’s request not to say anything.  Instead, he gripped Hackett firmly by the jaw and shared a kiss with him that hopefully expressed a little bit of what he felt.

“Steven.” Dillan found he couldn’t leave it at that when they finally separated. “I am _yours._ ”

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

“What the _fuck_ do you think you are doing?” Hackett’s voice was muffled by his helmet but Dillan could tell that he was yelling.  He could almost hear the tension in what was certain to be a clenched jaw.

Dillan ignored him and continued his precarious climb down a cliff face to retrieve the dog tags that had fallen.  He had an almost compulsive desire to ensure that every single tag was found.   It was consuming him to the point that he knew he was behaving irrationally.  The fact that he’d basically dangled himself over the edge of a cliff without a rope was evidence of it.

 _“Dillan.”_ Hackett was apparently trying to keep himself calm. “Do I really need to lose you again…after I just got you back?”

“Can we have this conversation when I’m not…” Dillan trailed off as his grip slipped a little.  He kept the panicked thoughts in his head so Hackett wouldn’t know and focused on getting the tags. With them safely in his hand, he climbed back up to stand in front of what he could tell, even through the helmet, was a very pissed off Hackett. “Got them.”

“Wonderful.” Hackett stormed towards the shuttle.

_Shit._

Walking the debris field one last time, Dillan gathered up all the tags and his destroyed N7 helmet.  He made his way back to the shuttle where Hackett was seated with his arms crossed.  The minute the shuttle was in the air, he removed his helmet and set it beside him.  The look on his face was…stony…at best.

“I didn’t want to leave anyone behind.” Dillan rubbed the stubble on his cheek absently.  The silence in the shuttle was agonizing. He glanced over at the pilot before moving over to sit next to Hackett. He kept his voice low. “Steven?”

“Not. _Now.”_

_Shit._

“I…” Dillan didn’t like silence, not from Hackett. 

The rage that Dillan could feel from the man beside him was making him uneasy.  He started to stand to move to another seat when Hackett’s hand shot out to pull him back down.  It happened in a split-second that he couldn’t seem to stop. 

He blanked for a moment on where he was and who he was with.  When he was _aware_ again, Dillan had Hackett by the front of his armor pressed against the wall of the shuttle. The pilot looked back in concern but Hackett ordered him to continue flying.  He seemed remarkably calm considering.

Hackett brought his hand up to grip the back of Dillan’s neck.  He leaned in to speak softly…evenly. “I wasn’t going to hit you, Dillan.  I didn’t want you to move.  That’s all. I would _never_ strike out at you in anger or any other damn situation.  I’m not _Doyle._ Come back to me? Eh?”

“I’m fine. I’m…fine.” Dillan nodded sharply, repeatedly until Hackett tightened his grip a little on his neck.  “Sorry, fuck, sorry.”

With an audience, neither of them could say nor do exactly what they wanted.  Hackett pressed Dillan back into his seat.  He sat next to him and held Dillan’s hand down between their legs out of view of the pilot. He kept his gaze on vid-comm terminal across from them. 

Dillan made his way straight down to the men’s room when they got to the ship.  He threw cold water on his face until he felt sufficiently frozen.  He stripped out of his armor down to his fatigues.  Hiding in one of the cubicles, he pulled up his omni-tool.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Alchera_

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson_

_D: Hey._

_J: Still on Alchera?_

_D: Sort of._

_J: What’s wrong, son?_

_D: I had one of my…flashbacks episodes._

_J: Are you ok?_

_D: I’m fine._

_J: Is that Dillan-speak for no?_

_D: I didn’t hurt anyone, aside from maybe my relationship._

_J: What triggered it?_

_D: I misread a movement that Steven made._

_J: Were you angry at the time?_

_D: No._

_J: Was he?_

_D: Yea._

_J: Why?_

_D: I went over a cliff to retrieve dog tags, without a safety harness._

_J: Damn it, son._

_D: I know._

_J: Steven’s a good man, he’d never hurt you._

_D: I know._

_J: Then maybe you should go talk to him, not me?_

_D: Yea._

_J: You’ll be fine._

_D: Yea._

_J: Keep in touch._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

Dillan stepped out of the stall to find Hackett leaning against one of the sinks. “Come here often?”

“Dillan.” Hackett hooked two of his fingers into a belt loop to yank him closer. “How can I help?”

“I’m fi…” He stopped the lie before it started. Maybe if he admitted for once that he wasn’t fine, it might change the outcome. “I don’t know.”

Hackett slid one arm around his waist and the other gripped the back of his head.  He pulled Dillan tight against his body. “I’m here for you.  Let me in.”

“It’s the anger.  I’ve learned that I need to have space when people are angry around me.  I tend to…get a little…over-sensitive at sudden movements otherwise.  I’ve hurt…” Dillan practically bit off his tongue to stop the words.

“Hurt?” Hackett turned them so Dillan was pressed against the sink.  He cupped both sides of his face, his fingers scraping over the stubble. “It’s not going to _scare_ me away.”

“I broke Jamieson’s jaw once and my hand another time.  It’s been a long time since I had a flashback like that though.” Dillan tested the strength of the sink. “Think this will hold my weight?”

Hackett seemed confused by the sudden change of conversation. “Why?”

“It’s the right height.” He nudged his leg between Hackett’s.

“I’m not…not in the damn…not here.” Hackett was flustered for the first damn and Dillan couldn’t stop the laughter when it came.

“Who knew all it took to fluster _Admiral Hackett_ was the thought of sex in a ship bathroom?” He draped his arms around Hackett.  The words were on his tongue and out of his mouth before he could stop them. “I love you.”

Hackett’s head snapped up. “Dillan?”

“I’m…” Dillan sprung away from Hackett to _wash_ his hands when a crew member stepped into the bathroom.  His eyes met Hackett’s in the mirror. “I’ll see you on the CIC, Admiral.”

_“Commander.”_

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan was standing by the galaxy map when Hackett got back up to the CIC.  The slight reddish flush on his neck was the only sign that he was aware that Hackett was there.  Hackett spoke briefly to one of the nearby Alliance officer, telling them to set a course for the Citadel.

“Commander?” He stepped up to stand beside him. “There’s coffee in the mess.”

“No thanks.” Dillan gripped the railing in front of him.

“Dillan.” Hackett kept his voice low so they wouldn’t be overheard.  “Do you want to take it back?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to pretend that I didn’t heart it?” Hackett wished they were in a more private spot to have this conversation.  He wanted to force Dillan to meet his eyes.  He really wanted to rip the uniform off him and get his hands on naked skin. 

“I don’t think _you_ could manage it if I said yes.” A flash of humor sparked on Dillan’s face. “You’re thinking about that sink, aren’t you?”

“No.”

“What a shame. I am.” Dillan started towards the mess.  He casually brushed against Hackett’s ass. “I’m thinking about you naked against it and your cock in my mouth.”

_The cocky little…_

Hackett gritted his teeth and stayed by the galaxy map until the uncomfortable hardening in his pants went away.  It was a relief to have the smug grin back on Dillan’s face though, even if it had come at his own expense.  And Dillan had admitted to loving him.

_Damn_

_Don’t think about the sink. Don’t think about Dillan on his knees mouth, open._

_Damn it._

He still stood by the railing when Dillan returned with two cups of coffee.  He handed one to Hackett with a knowing smirk.  It didn’t do anything to help his situation.

“Can I cook you dinner when we get back to the Citadel?” Dillan stared into his coffee. “I have to head to Omega, but I think…I mean…I need a little more time with you.”

Hackett reminded himself that he was standing in the middle of an Alliance ship, that he was surrounded by officers.  He couldn’t _grab_ his boyfriend and kiss the damn air out of his lungs.  He settled for a simple _yes_ and a smile that conveyed what he thinking. 

 _Dinner_ turned out to be Pork Chops au Poivre, something that Dillan had picked up in France during his N-school training.   They sat on the couch after the meal watching a game.  Hackett wanted to drag the man into his arms, but decided to wait for Dillan to reach out for him first.

 _He didn’t_.

“Is something on your mind?” Hackett turned the game off and shifted on the couch.  The cocky smirk on Dillan’s face had completely disappeared. “Dillan?”

“I slipped on the cliff,” Dillan admitted. “I…uh.”

Hackett suddenly remembered something that Jamieson had confided in him after the memorial service when the _Normandy_ had been destroyed.  It was something that Doyle had done to Dillan or rather forced him to do in exchange for displays of comfort…or love.

“I should…” His voice trailed off again.

“Come closer so I can hold you.” Hackett wanted him to know that it was freely given, always.

Dillan slid closer and his hand drifted up Hackett’s leg.  He looked confused when Hackett stopped his progress towards his crotch. “Steven?”

“I _just_ want to hold you.” Hackett shifted down on the couch and pulled Dillan with him.  They ended up side by side with arms around each other.  Hackett let him rest his head against his neck; he had one leg pressed between the other man’s legs. “I _love_ you too. I don’t _need_ you to do anything to…”

“Jamieson should’ve kept his damn mouth shut,” Dillan grumbled embarrassedly.

Hackett brought his hand up to began running his fingers lightly over Dillan’s scalp. “It was after you died.  I think he felt guilty about not having done more to help you.”

“Bastard.” Dillan relaxed into his touch. “Shame we didn’t try the sink.”

“There are _several_ sinks in the apartment.” Hackett couldn’t help but agree with him.

“True.” Dillan dragged his lips along Hackett’s neck. “Couch is nice too.”

“Is it?” Hackett shifted so that he was on top of him.

“Fuck, don’t be a tease.” He groaned when Hackett rubbed their lower halves together.

“Why ever not?” Hackett pressed a hard kiss against his lips. “What exactly were you doing on the CIC?”

Dillan laughed but his face turned serious a moment later to Hackett’s surprise. “I died.”

“You did.” Hackett moved off of him a little.  He rested one of his hands on Dillan’s chest while his other held the side of his head. “Try not to do it again.”

Dillan leaned his head back.  Hackett dragged his thumb along his throat, his nail catching on the stubble. “The cliff was a bad idea.”

“It was.”

“I didn’t want to leave anyone.  I tried to get them all into the escape pods.” Dillan’s eyes closed as he was clearly trying to keep control of his emotions.  “How much did Jamieson tell you?”

“Enough.” Hackett forced himself to keep the anger out of his voice. If Doyle had been alive, he would’ve eviscerated him. “I can offer you any sort of comfort that you need, Dillan.  It doesn’t have to come at a price.”

Dillan’s head titled up and blue eyes pierced into his own. “Everything comes at a price.”

Hackett considered his words for a moment.  “Love doesn’t come with a price, if it does, it isn’t love.”

_“Steven.”_

“I’m going into the bedroom.  I’m getting into bed.  If you’d like comfort, I will gladly hold you as long as you need.” He stood up slowly and disappeared into the other room. 

Stripping down to his boxers, Hackett slid under the covers to wait to see what Dillan decided. It was ten minutes before he heard footsteps and Dillan came into the room.  He shed his clothing and joined Hackett on the bed.   They stretched out on their sides with an arm around each other.  Their other arms stretched over their heads with hands intertwined.

“Do you…”

Dillan silenced him with a hard, hungry kiss. “This never happened.”

“There’s nothing weak about wanting love or comfort, Dillan,” Hackett chuckled.  He tightened the arm around him.  “Try to remember that you have someone to come back to now.”

“Yea, yea. I wouldn’t want my _old man_ to have a heart attack.” He smirked at him before resting his head on the pillow.

Hackett reached between them to easy his cock out of boxers and then did the same to Dillan.  He shifted them so their cocks rubbed together whenever he rocked his hips.  They kissed in the same manner that they moved with slow and lazy movements.  Their tongues slowly reacquainted themselves. 

It wasn’t long before pre-cum had made them both slick.  They shifted against each other.  Hackett slid his hand down to Dillan’s ass. He squeezed lightly and drifted down so his fingers could just tease him.  They ground into each other until they both came.  

Hackett drifted down to lick Dillan clean and then fed him a finger covered in his cum.  Dillan pushed him on his back and took his time using his tongue to clean Hackett up.  He collapsed on his side next to him with a pleased sigh. 

“How’s the heart doing?” Dillan grinned at him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan had been feeling great.  He’d gotten one of his most trusted friends back on the _Normandy._ Garrus was a welcome sight.  He liked Zaeed as well, even if he was a cranky bastard.  He’d supply Dillan with the good booze, and that was all he’d needed to know about the man.  With Mordin on the ship as well, he could head over to Lorek to find the missing operative for Cerberus.

The man was dead, as were the mercenaries that had been holding him.  Dillan paused to decide what to do with the information.  He finally forwarded it on to Hackett.  His loyalties would always remain with the Alliance, even if they didn’t want to claim him at the moment.  

He was sitting at his terminal preparing to send a second message to Hackett, a more personal one, when a new message in his inbox caught his attention.  He didn’t recognize the name but when he opened it, he felt the floor drop out from under him.

* * *

_From: Allan C._

_To: Cmdr. Shepard_

_Subj: Forgive…_

_…the intrusion into your life._

_You don’t know me but I was the man who dated Doyle after he left you.   From what he told me, he wasn’t any better with me than he was with you._

_I had put a lot of things in storage after his death, because I didn’t want to deal with it. I believe you can probably understand that better than most.  This past week, I decided it was time to get rid of it all.  Amongst the items I had, I found some datachips that were his.  One has your name on it.  I haven’t watched it, I haven’t made copies.  I’m forwarding to you through Admiral Jamieson, who I believe to be trustworthy._

_It’s yours._

_If it’s anything like the one that had my name on it, the nightmares are yours alone._

_I’m sorry to have brought this up.  But I wasn’t sure what else to do with it.  I’ll package it so that the Admiral won’t know what it is._

_Allan_

* * *

Two days later, he told Joker to head to Argos Rho.  Jamieson had promised to leave the datachip at the retirement home on Intai’sei.  His mother and Jamieson had kept the place after his death.  He hadn’t asked Dillan what was on it, though he had a feeling that he’d want to know eventually. Especially if he managed to figure out who Allan was.

The vid was worse than he thought.  He shouldn’t have watched it.  He should’ve destroyed it.  But curiosity got the better of him.  It was some of the more humiliating moments of their relationship, things that he should never have agreed to, and hadn’t wanted to do.

“Dillan?”

He looked up in surprise to find Hackett standing behind the couch. “How the?”

“Jamieson though that you’d like some company,” Hackett shrugged.  He watched as Dillan scrambled to remove the datachip from the terminal and toss it into the fireplace. “What was on it?”

“Nothing.” Dillan thought that perhaps it was at least partially true. He stared into the flames. “I’m not going to be good company right now, Steven.”

Hackett placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “I understand that Doyle’s ex contacted you.”

“Jamieson needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.” Dillan leaned into the hand on his shoulder. 

“We went to visit _Allan_.  There are no copies of the vid.  We wanted to make sure.” Hackett looked stunned when Dillan shoved him away.  “Dillan?”

“I can _handle_ my own problems.” He was holding on to his rage at Doyle with a very loose thread. 

“He showed us the vid that Doyle took of him.  It was…if yours was anything like it.” Hackett seemed lost for words. “I can’t imagine.”

“No, you can’t.” He held a hand up to keep the other man from approaching. “Don’t.”

Hackett changed course to sit on the couch.  He stayed seated while Dillan stared out the window.  He had a feeling that Hackett was letting him know that he would give him space.  He was also however not going to leave.  It soothed a little of the anger in him.

“Doyle was a true sadist.” Dillan didn’t want to look at Hackett. “He reveled in causing humiliation; I shouldn’t be surprised that he had vids.”

“He’s gone.  The vids are also gone.  And _I_ do not enjoy any aspect of causing or being humiliated.” Hackett spoke into the long silence that followed.

“Good,” he said absently.  He focused on the clenched fists at his sides. “I can’t talk to my mother about it.  She tends to feel guilty, like she could’ve fixed it.  And she doesn’t understand that maybe I don’t _need_ to talk about it anymore.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world to sit and listen.” Hackett spoke in the calm, deep voice that Dillan loved best. “Whatever you need.”

He glanced back at Hackett. “ _Whatever?_ ”

“Yes.”

Dillan let his body finally relax.  He moved to the couch.  Stretching out on his side facing Hackett, he rested his head in the man’s lap.  He slid his arm around Hackett and then lifting his shirt, Dillan pressed his face against Hackett’s abdomen.

Where many would’ve hesitated, Hackett seemed to know exactly what to do.  With one hand caressing Dillan’s head, he draped his other arm over his back.  In low tones, Hackett started to tell him about his first mission out of boot camp. 

They stayed that way for an hour or so.  Dillan finally rolled on his back to look up at his _boyfriend_.  He found patient blue eyes searching his face with concern.  He felt like he could finally let the demons go.  He lifted one hand to grip the back of Hackett’s neck. Leaning up, he pulled Hackett down to meet him for a kiss.

“I love you.” Dillan knew his voice was gruffer than usual.  “I think we should revisit that whole _whatever_ concept.”

“Oh?”

Dillan pulled himself up off of the couch.  He headed into the bedroom off of the living area.  He was already undressed when Hackett joined him.  Hackett had apparently removed his uniform in the other room.  He found himself being pushed gently down on the bed.  Hackett grabbed a pillow and nudged his side until Dillan lifted up and it was lid under him. 

“What…” Dillan couldn’t complete the question when firm hands massaged up the backs of his legs.  He dropped his head down on the bed to enjoy the feeling. 

The hands moved up higher and pulled his cheeks apart.  He felt the warm puffs of air sent across _very_ sensitive skin and he couldn’t stop the slight arching of his back if he wanted to.  A thumbnail grazed along the cleft followed by a tongue.   He gave up trying to hold in the sounds when the soft and insistent exploration delved into him.

Hackett’s thumb slid inside and then he ran his tongue around the rim.  “Would you like more, Dillan?”

“Fuck.” He was _not_ up to eloquence.

“I can do that.” Hackett twisted his thumb around, teasing him more.

_Son-of-a-bitch._

Dillan started to lift up off of the bed but Hackett shifted forward to get his body weight on him. _“Steven.”_

Hackett moved a little and his cock brushed over Dillan who immediately pushed back wanting him inside.   With a deep chuckle, Hackett leaned down to drag his beard along Dillan’s spine.  He pressed his hands hard into the mattress underneath him to keep from flipping them over and taking the man himself.

_Oh the bastard knew how to tease._

The tease didn’t last long.  Hackett lubed his cock up quickly.  He was gently easing into him but Dillan didn’t want gentle.  With a snap of his hips, he fucked himself back on him. He didn’t stop until he could feel Hackett’s legs pressed against the back of his thighs.  He closed his eyes to immerse himself into the sensation of being filled.  

Hackett rested against Dillan’s back, waiting until they were both adjusted.  He’d clearly taken the hint though because he started moving at a harsh speed.  He slammed his cock into Dillan, angled right after the second or third thrust to hit his prostate just about every time.   

His hand reached up to grip Dillan’s hair.  He leaned down to bite hard on his shoulder and then moved up to growl encouragement in his ear.   Dillan felt like fire was building inside him.  All the rage from earlier had morphed into pure lust. 

He wondered if he was going a little mad with it as he all but threw himself back against Hackett’s cock.  When Hackett reached underneath him to stroke his cock, it was perfect and too much at the same time.   He came violently with moans muffled by the bed.

Hackett continued thrusting into him, causing a few additional spurts.  He tightened his muscles and smirked against the covers when Hackett lost his _precious_ control.  They were sweaty and sticky when Hackett finally collapsed against his back. 

“Not yet.” He reached back to stop Hackett from shifting off of him. “We’ll shower in a second, don’t move yet.”

“Love you too.” Hackett’s beard tickled the back of Dillan’s neck as he spoke.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Date?_

_Any plans to visit the Citadel?_

_I am available and irresistible._

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: re: Date?_

_I might be able to head that way. And you are not available to anyone but me._

_I understand that Purgatory when up in flames._

_Another explosion of yours?_

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Irony._

_I see what you did there._

_It wasn’t entirely my fault.  It was just a minor disagreement._

_Dinner? Your place at six?_

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: re: Irony._

_Minor?_

_I shudder to think what your idea of major is._

_Six is fine._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: major._

_Explosions that leave me gasping for my last breaths alone in space._

_I consider that to be major._

_Dillan_

* * *

Hackett waited an hour at his place but Dillan still hadn’t shown up.  The _Normandy_ was docked but no Dillan.  He found him at the little chapel that he’d taken him to after William’s death on Virmire.

Moving up the aisle, Hackett sat in the pew next to Dillan.  He reached out to hold one of his hands.  Hackett sat in silence with him, their fingers intertwined.  

“Do you believe in life after death?” Dillan’s gaze was focused on the lit candles in the front of the room.

“You’d know better than I would.” Hackett pointed out.

“I don’t remember anything beyond right before I passed out.” Dillan’s eyes flickered towards him and then back to the front. “Sorry, I was late.”

“Why are we in church?” Hackett asked.  He didn’t need an apology.

“Praying for forgiveness.” Dillan pulled their hands up to lightly bite Hackett’s thumb. “For all the sins that I plan on committing tonight.”

_“Dillan.”_

“You can ask me while I make dinner.” HE stood up and pulled Hackett up with him. “I find myself suddenly _very, very_ hungry.”

The man stayed unusually quiet as he gathered ingredients to make dinner.  Hackett leaned back against one of the counters to wait him out.  Pushing Dillan never worked, he’d turn it into a joke like he had in the chapel. Silence would usually draw him out eventually, if only so that he could fill it with sound.

It didn’t take long.  Dillan started talking while he diced up vegetables.  He ‘d apparently watched a vid from his memorial, combined with their messages, it had gotten him thinking about his death.

Hackett told him about the memorial on Elysium. Dillan didn’t seem all that impressed by it.  He thought the Alliance could’ve spent it’s credits in a more useful way. Then he wanted to know if there was an anatomically correct statute at the memorial.

 _Only Dillan_.

He slid the casserole into the oven and glanced back at Hackett. “I have an hour to make you beg.”

“You can try,” Hackett said nonchalantly.

_Challenge apparently accepted._

He wasn’t sure how he ended up bent over naked with his arms resting on the back of the couch.  Dillan had knelt between his legs and now had a hand on his cock and two fingers in his ass.   He didn’t plan on begging for any damn thing.  Then he felt the tongue that traced a line from his perineum up to the fingers being worked into him.

It circled around the fingers and then pushed in with them.  The insistent thrusting nudged against the spot that had him gripping the couch tightly.  Every time that he started moving with them, Dillan would pull them out and just tease the rim lightly with his tongue.  It was maddening. 

“ _Dillan,_ ” he said impatiently.

“Yes?” The smug little shit continued to tease him.  “All you have to say is ‘please’.”

It wasn’t until a third and then fourth finger pressed into him that Hackett muttered the required please.  He would deal with the amused chuckle that came from Dillan later.  He expected a hand to find his cock, or Dillan to thrust his cock into him. 

_Dillan never did the expected._

His tongue continued to trace around the fingers thrusting inside Hackett.  They brushed over his prostate repeatedly with harder movements each time.  Hackett found himself humping the air.   Dillan continued increasing the speed and pressure until Hackett literally came undone.  His come spurting out on the floor. 

“I knew it wouldn’t take an hour.” Dillan eased his fingers out and tapped Hackett lightly on the ass. “You made a mess.”

Hackett took a measured breath as he stood back up.  He stretched out his legs and arms for a moment.  He waited until Dillan had relaxed into his usual smirk.  His hand shot out to grab him by the neck and drag him down on the couch.  He moved on top of him, dragging his beard across Dillan’s jaw roughly.

“Not that I mind, but I need to check on dinner.” Dillan rolled out from under him and landed with a thud on the floor. “Should’ve though that move out better.”

“Dillan.”

“Yes?” He paused in the process of standing up to look at Hackett.

“Clean up my mess.” Hackett had intended to just tease the man, but when he dragged his hand through Hackett’s cum and licked it off his fingers. Hackett felt himself getting hard all over again. “I was…”

“Kidding?” Dillan’s gaze drifted down to Hackett’s cock. “I think it’s time for _food_.”

“What was that?” Hackett grabbed his wrist to stop him from _hiding_ in the kitchen.

Dillan couldn’t meet his gaze for a moment.  He kept his eyes on Hackett’s hand instead. “You’ve seen the vids of what Doyle did to his other boyfriend.  It was a lot of kinky shit.  I may not have enjoyed it with him, but that I don’t have kinks of my own. I…have a hard time talking about them, since…”

“No judgment from me.” Hackett stroked the strong hand he was now holding. “I’m up for anything that you want to share, _anything_ that you want me to do to or for you.”

“Be careful what you wish for, Steven.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Arcturus_

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_18:32 S: Is it infant related?_

_18:34 D: HELL no._

_18:35 D: Stop guessing, you’ve been guessing for days and every time you’ve gotten it wrong._

_18:36 S: So that’s a no to the diapers?_

_18:37 D: I’m regretting every mentioning anything about kinks._

_18:38 S: Do you want a daddy?_

_18:39 D: Do you want a swift kick upside the head?_

_18:40 S: It’s not body fluids because I’m not sure that I can help you with that._

_18:41 D: It is not body fluids._

_18:42 S: Hmm._

_18:43 D: I will pay you in blowjobs to stop._

_18:44 S: That involves body fluids._

_18:45 D: Steven._

_18:46 S: Well, I already know that you’re a bottom, no matter how you try to hide it._

_18:52 D: I switch._

_18:54 S: Sure.  Is it related to that?_

_18:56 D: I have to go drown myself in the sink._

_18:57 S: I’m going to assume that’s a maybe._

_18:58 D: I’m going to assume that you’ve lost your mind._

_19:01 S: You’re very tactile._

_19:02 D: Did you get a psyche degree when I wasn’t looking?_

_19:04 S: If I threw a ball across the floor would you chase it?_

_19:08 D: I…have to go…we just reached Horizon._

_19:09 S: Dillan._

_19:10 D: I’ll talk to you later._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

Dillan wasn’t feeling very _playful_ when he got back from Horizon.  He understood Kaidan’s mistrust. It still hurt to hear his accusations though.  He hadn’t felt like going in-depth into his feelings with either The Illusive Man or Kelly.  Granted, sharing with Kelly would inevitably end up being sharing with both.

_Damn._

It wasn’t helped by the fact that Hackett had touched so close to…he wasn’t ready to talk or do anything about any of it.  He ignored the message that Hackett had sent to him and told Joker to head to the Citadel.  He went down to the third deck to hang out with Garrus in the main battery.   He could always count in the turian to provide a decent enough distraction.

They talked about the finer points of sniper rifles until they arrived on the Citadel.  He told the crew to enjoy a day or two of shore-leave. The Illusive Man could suck his dick if he had a problem with that. 

“Son.”

Dillan looked up from the mod that he was looking at to find Jamieson standing in the store doorway. “Did mom send you?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet.” His indirect answer was answer enough.

 He didn’t have a response for that so he focused on purchasing the items that he wanted and having them forwarded to the _Normandy._   Jamieson waited patiently for him to finish.  They ended up having lunch on the Presidium commons. 

The conversation was kept to safe, non-Alliance, non-serious topics.  Jamieson knew him well enough to know that he was avoiding something.  Dillan knew that it wouldn’t last.  The man would want to know what was going on.

“Do I need to pay Hackett another visit?” Jamieson said it so casually that Dillan choked on the food in his mouth.

“No, _dad_.” He coughed a few times and drank some water to clear his throat. “Seriously, it’s not him. He’s …great.”

“Then?”

“I am not having this conversation with you.” Dillan gave Jamieson a wicked grin. “I’m confident that you don’t really want to know any more about my sex life than you already do.”

That put an end to Jamieson’s line of questioning fairly quickly.  He did offer to visit Hackett one more time before the meal was over.  Dillan just laughed it off.  If anything, it was Dillan that was currently the problem.  He needed a break.  He figured he could relax at Hackett’s apartment on the Citadel, it should be empty.

“Steven?” Dillan stepped into the quiet apartment.  He’d caught sight of the bag on the table and realized that maybe it wasn’t _empty_ after all.

He found him asleep on the couch with a datapad resting on his chest.  Dillan moved the datapad to the coffee table and pulled a blanket down over the sleeping Hackett.  He started to head back to the door when a hand caught his arm. 

He looked down to find sleepy blue eyes watching him. “This is not Arcturus.”

“Take a nap with me.” Hackett shifted on his side so there’d be room for both of them on the couch.

“Steven.”

“Indulge me.” Hackett lifted the blanket and patted the empty space beside me.

“Only if you promise to stop guessing.” Dillan kicked his shoes off and stripped down to his boxers.

“I don’t need to guess anymore, do I?”

Dillan forced himself to stay casual as he stretched out next to him.  “I will walk out of that door.”

“Not in your underwear you won’t.” Hackett reached down to pull on the hem of his boxers lightly.

“Oh really?” He tilted his head up so they were eye to eye. “I wouldn’t take that bet if I were you.”

“Dillan.” A strong arm wrapped firmly around his back. “I’m very tired.  It’s been a long week.  I want to take a nap with my _boyfriend_ and then we’re going to have a long talk about why you’re so afraid of the truth.”

He thought very briefly about arguing and even more briefly about getting up and leaving.  But then Hackett rubbed his beard across Dillan’s stubble covered cheek.  He nuzzled along his cheek and then his neck.  Dillan figured that he could leave _after_ the nap.

_After would be better._

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

“Stay.”

“Funny.” Dillan rolled off of the couch to the floor with a thud.  He pushed himself up from the carpet to his feet. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Oh?” Hackett  sat up, shoving the blanket off of him as he did.

“Tattoo.” Dillan paused with his jeans halfway up to watch Hackett stand up.  He pulled them the rest of the way up and fastened them.  Stepping over the coffee table, he wrapped an arm around Hackett and leaned down to drag his cheek along Hackett’s bare chest.  He pressed his nose into the crook of his neck. “I’ve got an appointment that I can’t miss. No matter how tempting you are.”

“You might need a shirt.” Hackett ran his fingers up Dillan’s back.

He glanced down at himself. “Why? I mean really, look at me.”

With a chuckle, Dillan stepped away from his temptation and plucked his grey hoodie off of the floor.  He pulled it on and shoved his feet into his shoes.  He was out the door before Hackett could get another word in.  He spent the next seven hours getting his back tattooed.

He thought that maybe if he had ink on his skin again, he’d finally start feeling like himself.

He _needed_ to start feeling like himself. 

The tattoo that he was getting was an image that he’d gotten from an artist of a silhouetted surfer at the beach that Hackett had taken Dillan to at sunrise.  It would make for an amazing tattoo.  He’d found a great realism tattoo specialist on the Citadel.  It was worth the seven hours in the chair when he finally finished.

Hackett was waiting for him when Dillan walked out a little stiffly.  He took the cleansing lotion that Dillan held in his hand.  Hackett gently covered the tattoo with it then bandaged it up.  He helped him get back into his hoodie.

“Feel better now?” Hackett zipped the hoodie up.  His hand remained on the zipper and he tugged Dillan down into a kiss.

“Steven?”

“You’re not a damn _dirty_ secret. You’re my boyfriend.  I won’t hide who I’m with for my career.” Hackett moved his hand from the zipper to grip Dillan’s neck firmly. “We have _nothing_ to be ashamed of.”

“You don’t have to work that _hard_ to get in my pants.” Dillan gave him a crooked grin.  He wasn’t going to explore the way his heart had started to race at Hackett’s words. Not in the middle of one of the Zakera Wards in any case. “I know _how_ much you love what’s in my boxers.”

“You aren’t wearing boxers.” Hackett raised an eyebrow at him.

“Been thinking about that a lot have you?” Dillan slid his hands into the hoodie pockets and smirked at Hackett. “I bet you’ve been thinking about my lack of _boxers_ for the last seven hours.”

“Careful. I can’t shove you up against _anything_ since your back is out of commission for a few days.” Hackett took a deep breath and started walking towards the nearby stairs without checking to see if Dillan would follow.

“Where are we going?” Dillan hopped down the last four steps to catch up to Hackett.

“I’m buying my boyfriend dinner and then I’m taking him back to _our_ apartment.” He stopped before the next set of stairs to turn serious eyes towards Dillan. “And then we’re going to have a long talk about why you brought up something you _enjoy_ only to run from it.”

“I don’t _run_ from anything.” Dillan jumped down the next flight of steps and grinned up at Hackett. “I saunter stylishly in a slightly rapid manner.”

“Saunter stylishly?” Hackett muttered.

“I don’t know what you’re complaining for, you always like the view as I _saunter_ away.” He waited for Hackett to join him.

He reached up to scratch the back of Dillan’s head. “I do _enjoy_ the view.”

Dillan suddenly developed tunnel vision as Hackett’s fingers moved along his neck.  He tried not to lose himself in the touch.  He caught the glimmer in Hackett’s eyes that told him that _his boyfriend_ knew exactly what he was playing at. “ _Steven_.”

”I just wanted to see if my theory was correct.” Hackett gave him one last touch and let his hand fall away. “You can saunter rapidly towards the restaurant if you like.”

He waited until they were seated at the restaurant to exact his revenge.  He made sure that every damn bite of food that he took ended up with him _licking_ his lips _slowly_. He didn’t need to look under the table to know that Hackett was painfully hard.  The slightly glazed over look in his eyes was telling enough.

The muffled groan that he heard when he slowly sucked a drop of sauce from the end of his thumb was additional confirmation.  He met Hackett’s gaze and his lips quirked up into a grin.  Dillan refused to leave when they finished their entrees.  He just _had_ to have dessert.

He practically made love to the spoon that he used to eat the decadent chocolate mousse that he selected.  Hackett had finally looked away and refused to turn back towards him.   _Success._ He finished up the dessert and paid for the meal.  It only seemed fair.

“That was quite a _display.”_ Hackett had insisted on staying seated for several minutes.  He pointedly ignored Dillan’s comment about the reasons for it.  He had refused to speak until they were in an elevator heading up to his apartment.

“You shouldn’t _tease_ me in the middle of a stairwell then.” Dillan took the hoodie off the moment he stepped into the apartment.  It was rubbing his tattoo awkwardly.  

Hackett moved behind him and skimmed his fingers along Dillan’s spine until he reached his neck.  He continued the firm massage that he’d started before dinner.  He chuckled when Dillan leaned into his hand. “How far are you interested in taking this?”

“I’m fairly certain that we’ve already _gone_ all the way.” Dillan reached back to pinch Hackett on the ass.

“I left a present for you on the dresser in the bedroom.  Take a look and decide whether or not you want me to explore this with you.  It’s _your_ dirty little secret this time.” Hackett shoved him gently towards the hallway.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The ball on the dresser mocked him.  Not literally, but all the same.  He stared at it for twenty minutes.  Dillan thought maybe Hackett was making a pointed joke at his expense.  It wasn’t something that Hackett would do.  The longer he sat on the edge of the bed, the more he realized it was likely something meant to make him laugh.

He took the yellow ball and walked into the living room to beam the thing at Hackett’s head. “Not the kind of _balls_ I prefer to have in my mouth.”

Hackett smiled at him and caught the ball before it struck his forehead. “You never know until you try it.”

_“Steven.”_

“You needed to be able to laugh about this before we actually talk about it.” Hackett tossed the ball up in the air and caught it.

“I’m not _into_ playing fetch.” Dillan sounded sullen and it annoyed him.  He rubbed his hand vigorously across his face and laughed ruefully.  He sank down on the couch beside Hackett.  He spun around to lie on back with his head on Hackett’s knee. “I don’t know how to talk about this.”

They sat in silence for a while until Hackett apparently decided that this wasn’t working.  He pushed Dillan off of his leg and stood up.  He pulled Dillan up to his feet as well.

“Go into the bedroom and get in bed.  Naked or clothed, it doesn’t really matter.” Hackett stared down at the ball in his hands.

With an amused grin, Dillan decided not to argue. He was stretched out naked on the bed when Hackett walked in with just a pair of dark blue boxers on, the yellow ball in his hand.  He set it on the dresser and joined Dillan on the bed.  He was on his side and pulled the younger man into his arms.

Dillan raised an eyebrow at Hackett. “What exactly _are_ we doing in bed?”

Hackett wrapped an arm around him and rested his hand on his neck.  He stroked the flesh there firmly. “I think we should start with this.  Just this.  It doesn’t have to be anything more.  I have a feeling you like the comfort of it.”

“Just…this?” Dillan smirked.

“Close your eyes.” Hackett waited until he’d done it then he felt a firm pressure on his head until Dillan had moved forward.  His nose was tickled by Hackett’s beard and he tilted his head down.  He breathed in deeply with his face pressed into Hackett’s neck. “Good boy.”

He felt his body tense for a moment but the fingers on his neck just continued the easy caress.  He huffed against Hackett in response.

“We’ll talk later about whether you’d like to use names like that or not.  And we can talk about what else you’d like to incorporate into this.  For now, I’ll keep petting you until your body relaxes enough that your mind can as well.” Hackett kept his tone low, a little deeper than normal.   Dillan had the sudden realization that this wasn’t the first time his _boyfriend_ had done this.  His suspicions were confirmed a moment later. “Yes, this isn’t the first time that I’ve…had…done this.  I’m going to leave the ball on the dresser, whenever you want to be comforted like this; you only need to bring it to me. _Not_ in your mouth.”

Dillan huffed against him again, a slight smirk on his face.  He eased into the arms holding him.  He shifted around to get more comfortable.  The hand on his neck drifted down his side and then up it again, the same firm yet gentle caress.  He seemed especially carefully of the sensitive tattooed skin.

“If it’s never about sex, if it’s always about being held and petted, I’m fine with that.” Hackett didn’t let go when Dillan wiggled uncomfortably. “It doesn’t make you _weak_. You’re the strongest damn marine that I know.  This is about us, and what _you_ enjoy…what we enjoy.”

“Oh it’s always about sex.” He chuckled when Hackett cuffed the back of his head lightly. “I love you.”

The hand on his neck squeezed him for a second and then drifted up into his hair.  Hackett’s fingers scratched along his scalp until Dillan felt all the tension in his body and mind dissipate.  He shifted closer, nuzzling against Hackett. 

“That’s it.” Hackett continued his ministrations. “Let it all go, it’s only me and I’m enjoying this as much as you are.”

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Illium turned out to be a lot more time consuming then he’d hoped.  He took Garrus and Zaeed to find first Thane Krios and then Samara.  He’d continued on with Garrus to help Miranda find her sister and save her from being turned back over to their father.

Garrus continued on with him as they raced across Ilium first to find Liara and then to stop Vasir.  Dillan enjoyed the skycar chase a little too much for everyone else in the vehicle.  He didn’t point out that at least he hadn’t crashed the damn thing.  He felt a strange sort of déjà vu as he took down yet another rogue spectre.

He caught up with Liara as the _Normandy_ headed towards Hagalaz and the Shadow Broker’s ship.  They were finally able to take down the broker and rescue Feron.  He’d stayed a little longer on the ship to go through all the files and vids that Liara had set up for him.

The message between Hackett and Major Antella caught and held his attention.  He read the damn thing multiple times, even if Hackett’s response was just two simple words.  His fingers clung to the edge of the terminal as he bent forward. _‘Request denied.’_  Two stupid words, not even a damn full sentence, so very _Steven._

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Balls._

_Mine are severely deprived of attention._

_I think you should fix that particular problem for me._

_Meet me on Intai’sei?_

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: re: attention._

_Subtle._

_Very, very subtle._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: subtlety_

_That doesn’t get my balls licked._

_And I’d like them to be licked…by you._

_Is that a yes or a no?_

_Dillan_

* * *

It turned out to be a yes.  Dillan had Joker head to Argos Rho.  He took the Kodiak down to his retirement home while the _Normandy_ scanned the planets in the surrounding systems.  Hackett joined him a few hours after he got there.

He was sitting at the terminal messaging with his mom when Hackett arrived.  Dillan wrapped up the conversation with her and turned towards him. He looked…crisply handsome…in black trousers and a light blue dress shirt.  

“We should take a shower.” Dillan stood up and walked over to the bar in the room to pour both of them a drink.

“Shower?”

“You’re dirty, we should _clean_ you up.” Dillan handed him a glass and then leaned in for a kiss.

He didn’t let Hackett get a word in edgewise.  He lifted his own glass of scotch and poured it over Hackett’s head.  He slid his hand around Hackett’s neck and held him still while he licked a line of liquor that was making its way down his cheek.

 _“Dillan_.”

He pulled back from him but ran his fingers through the dripping alcohol. “See, very dirty.”

The gleam that flashed in Hackett’s eyes should’ve been a warning for him.  He barely had time to set his own glass down before Hackett was dragging him towards the bedroom.  He made quick work of stripping Dillan out of his jeans and t-shirt.  He stared pointedly at his own clothing until Dillan took the hint and helped him get out of the now wet shirt and trousers.

It was quick work getting the water warm enough and rinsing the sticky liquid off of his _boyfriend._   Hackett held him by the hair while he pressed his lips against Dillan’s.  It was a rough kiss that had Dillan’s cock hard and knees buckling just a little, not that he’d ever admit to that.

He was glad he’d had the foresight to keep lube in the shower.  Hackett wasted no time in lubing up a few fingers to work into Dillan.  He kept going until Dillan was growling into his mouth for more.  He pulled them out and worked more lube on his cock.

Dillan found himself pressed face first into the wall of the shower.  Hackett’s fingers tightened in his short hair, holding his head against the wet tile.   His other hand gripped Dillan’s hip hard as he thrust up into him.

“Was this the kind of _attention_ that you were looking for?” Hackett pulled out of him and teased him by sliding his cock between his cheeks before once against thrusting hard into his ass.

“I distinctly recall mentioning your tongue and my balls.” Dillan’s smug response was lessened by the moan when Hackett hit the sensitive spot inside of him particularly hard. “ _Damn_.”

“What was that?” Hackett teased him again with a slow, easy grind that was too much and not enough.

He was about to make a sarcastic response when it was _literally_ fucked out of him.  His hands went up to the wall to try to find some sort of grip.  He met Hackett’s pounding with pushes of his own. 

He felt Hackett reach around him to start to stroke his cock.  They were quick, long strokes that had him seeing stars and coming on the wall in front of him after the cock in his ass hit his prostate with a perfect thrust.  His body clenched repeatedly around Hackett.  It was a moment later that Hackett pulled out of him and came across his back.

“Now who’s the dirty one?” Hackett growled breathlessly in his ear.

“You have perverted depths.” Dillan bent forward until his head rested against the wall. “And you still haven’t licked my damn balls.”

“Is that what you want?” Hackett eased him back under the shower to rinse both of them off.  “Or is it more that you left a particular item at my apartment?”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

His big plan to spend a few days with Hackett was shot to shit by an emergency hail from Tali.  She’d gotten herself into trouble on Haestrom.  He let in a rush with a promise to meet Hackett on the Citadel in a few days.

“Did you enjoy your brief shore-leave, Commander?” Kelly smiled a little too brightly at him.

The yeoman made his skin crawl.  It wasn’t _just_ that Dillan knew she reported everything to the Illusive Man.  He expected that sort of thing to happen.  She reminded him of the shrink that he’d been forced to see after Doyle.

“I’d enjoy it a lot more if you’d _leave_ me alone.” Dillan focused on the messages and tried to ignore the _furtive_ glances sent his way.

He worked very hard at avoiding conversation with the Cerberus crew members.  He spent most of his time with Garrus or Zaeed or on the bridge with Joker.  He sent a response to his mom’s message and turned to head into the elevator.

“Kelly informs me that your aquarium is empty.” Miranda followed DIllan off the CIC into the lift.

“Lawson.” Dillan turned cold blue eyes towards her. “I’m not interested in having pets on this ship.  I’m additionally not interested in being monitored like _I’m_ the damn fish in a bowl.”

“Commander…”

He stepped out of the elevator on the fourth deck. “Go back to your office.  This conversation is over.”

It wasn’t _about_ the fish tank.  He knew that.  It was like being someone’s personal science experiment. They kept poking and prodding to see how the specimen would react.  The fish were part of that along with the damn viewing window over his bed.  He’d been around enough psychological games to know and he refused to play.

Dillan spent the rest of the trip to Haestrom talking to Zaeed.  They traded stories and talked weapons.  He was getting up to leave when Zaeed stepped over.

“Why the hell do you keep coming down here?” Zaeed blocked his exit.

“I find angry men very _amusing._ ” DIllan feigned a serious look at him.  “Oh and the Cerberus crew is terrified of you which means that I won’t run into them here.”

Zaeed moved out of his way with a laugh. “You’re alright, Shepard.”

“Ready for Heastrom?” Dillan asked.

“Any goddamn time.”

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Serpent Nebula_

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_D: You never did lick my balls._

_S: Are you on the Citadel?_

_D: Not exactly. Heading to Bekenstein._

_S: Why?_

_D: I need a distraction._

_S: From your balls?_

_D: Funnily enough, no._

_S: Then?_

_D: The Illusive Man, Cerberus, fish tanks._

_S: Fish tanks?_

_D: It’s...not about the fish tanks. It’s a symbol of being stuck with Cerberus._

_S: Intai’sei or the Citadel?_

_D: What?_

_S: Where do you want me to meet you?_

_D: Steven._

_S: Where?_

_D: The Citadel.  It’s an easier jump for you and I’ll be there once I’m done with this favor I have to do for a friend._

_S: I can be there tomorrow._

_D: That’s a long way to go just to lick my balls. I mean, they’re nice balls but…_

_S: It’s not a long way to go to be there for the man that I love._

_D: Well.  Does that mean you aren’t going to lick my balls?_

_S: Dillan._

_D: Yes?_

_S: If you need comfort, you only have to ask, even if we don’t have the little ball with us._

_D: I have to go clean my sniper rifle._

_S: I love you._

_D: Love you too._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 When Hackett reached the apartment on the Citadel, he found Dillan sitting on the couch stripping his sniper rifle down.  There were new mods sitting on the coffee table. He watched while Dillan cleaned the weapon and then started adding the new mods.

He headed into the kitchen to grab two beers. He set one in front of his boyfriend and took a seat next to him on the couch.  Dillan finished with the rifle and carefully placed it on the arm chair.  He drank the beer and then _finally_ turned his attention to Hackett.

“Worked out the nerves yet?” Hackett leaned back into the couch with his beer resting on his knee.

Dillan stared down at the grease on his hands.  He reached over to run them over Hackett’s jeans. “Think you’re going to have to take those pants off. They’re…soiled.”

“ _Dillan_.”

“Yes?” He continued casually cleaning his fingers on what had been a _pristine_ pair of jeans. “Do you press your jeans? Cause they’re never wrinkled. How the hell are they never wrinkled?”

“ _Dillan_.” Hackett placed his beer _carefully_ on the table and turned unamused blue eyes towards his boyfriend. “Is there a reason that you’re using _my_ jeans for a towel?”

“I _like_ getting you as _dirty_ as possible.” Dillan gave him a filthy grin that promised all the things that Hackett had grown to love about him.

“You’re buying me a new pair of jeans.” Hackett pulled the wandering hands off of him. “Go _wash_ your damn hands.”

“If I’m buying the jeans, I’m taking those off… _now_.” He placed strong hands on Hackett’s thighs and dragged his legs up on the couch.  He had Hackett’s jeans off a moment later.  “There are things that I want to do _now_. Later…we’re going to pretend that I put that damn little ball in your hand, because I need it.”

Hackett intended to make him at least wash the grease off of his fingers first.  He had the words all planed out, but then Dillan dragged his fingers across the front of Hackett’s boxers.  Those were followed by his mouth.  He lifted up off the couch as Dillan mouthed his cock through the boxers.

By the time that the boxers were eased off of him, the front was soaked from his pre-cum and saliva from Dillan.  Strong hands held him down on the couch while Dillan teased the head of his cock.  He brought his hand up to grip the hair on the top of his head.  He guided Dillan’s mouth down on him.

Fingers teased his balls as Dillan sucked hard on him.  He alternated between taking him deep into his throat and licking the head of Hackett’s cock.  He held him down and bucked up into Dillan’s mouth as he came hard. 

“ _Dirty.”_ Dillan collapsed on top of Hackett to catch his breath. He reached up to try to ease the fingers still holding his hair.

Hackett used his grip to pull Dillan up.  He let go only to hold then him by the back of the neck and pull him down into a kiss. “Good boy.”

“Steven?”

There was a slight uncertainty in the blue eyes looking into his, an uncertainty that didn’t match the smug tone of his voice.  Hackett stroked the back his neck gently.    He eased Dillan over until he could press his thigh up against his cock.

With a firm hold on Dillan’s neck, he began to casually move his leg back and forth.  It wasn’t long before Dillan couldn’t take the sensation against his rock hard cock. He started to grind himself against Hackett’s leg.  

Hackett forced Dillan’s head down so he could continue murmuring into his ear.   He told him all the _filthy_ things that he planned to do to him.  Dillan silenced him with his lips.  His kiss was hungry and hard.  It matched the movements of his body.    He froze above Hackett and he could feel the moisture soaking through Dillan’s jeans a moment later.

“So who’s buying the new jeans?” Dillan smirked against his lips.

“New jeans?” Hackett met his grin with a smile of his own. “We haven’t even gotten you out of those.”

Dillan was up off the couch with a spark in his eyes.  He dragged Hackett up with him.  They stripped each other out of their shirts as they made their way towards the bedroom.  They showered…got dirty again…showered again.  Hackett finally managed to get Dillan to relax beside him on the bed.

“Nerves worn out enough?”

“Bastard.” Dillan’s voice was muffled by the pillow that his face was currently pressed into.

“ _Come_.” Hackett tapped a finger against Dillan’s side to indicate what he wanted.  He hesitated before finally rolling over until he was leaning into Hackett’s body.  Hackett brought his fingers up to begin caressing his back.  “Good boy.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The Cerberus members of the crew wisely left Dillan alone when he returned from Aite with David Archer being carried by Zaeed and Thane.  He had them take the young man to Doctor Chakwas while he set coordinates for Intai’sei. 

Grissom Academy wasn’t likely to _readily_ accept anyone from a Cerberus vessel.  But since his mother had command of her own ship, she was going to meet him at the retirement home.  She’d take care of David and get him to the academy.

Dillan stayed at the retirement home long after his mom had left.  He needed to clear his head.  He was having trouble getting David’s voice out of his mind.  The haunted cries that he’d screeched at them to make it stop.

The more time that Dillan spent under the _Cerberus banner_ , the more he grew to despise everything that the Illusive Man claimed to stand for.  He dropped down on the couch and closed his eyes. 

He gave up on sleep when the visions in his mind wouldn’t go away.  Closing his eyes was clearly a terrible, terrible idea.  He moved from the couch over to the terminal across the room.  He dropped in the chair in front of it and pulled up a chat window.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Intai’sei_

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson_

_D: Hey._

_J: Dillan._

_D: Why do people hurt their own family?_

_J: I don’t know, son.  Some people are just wired wrong.  Your mom told me about that autistic young man that you saved. Good work._

_D: How could his own brother do that to him?_

_J: I don’t know.  How could your dad do the things that he did?_

_D: It’s not the same._

_J: Torture is torture, even if it’s not always physical._

_D: This was a completely different level. Damn Cerberus, and I’m with them._

_J: You are not_ _Cerberus.  You’re Commander Dillan Shepard, an Alliance officer and a former member of Team Delta. You’ve got a damn medal._

_D: Jamieson._

_J: Listen, Team Delta’s having a little party next week on Elysium.  You should go._

_D: I can’t._

_J: Why not?_

_D: Cerberus?_

_J: Meet me on the Citadel.  I can get you a ride to Elysium that doesn’t have Cerberus colors._

_D: What ride?_

_J: Just…be there._

_D: Sir, Yes, Sir._

_J: Very funny, Son._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

The following week while the _Normandy_ sat in dry-dock for repairs that it didn’t actually need, Dillan snuck from one ship to another to make the jump to Elysium.  He’d left Joker and Kasumi in charge of distracting the Cerberus _friendly_ crew.   He’d changed out of his fatigues into faded jeans, a white t-shirt and a faded denim jacket.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Dillan glanced over his shoulder to find his mom watching him. “It’s weird.”

She walked about to give him a hug.  “It’s a beautiful memorial.  Hackett made quite a speech when he opened it.”

“Really?” Dillan’s lips quirked up into a crooked grin. “I’ll have to see if I can find a vid of it.”

“Don’t tease him.  He was…he missed you.” Hannah released him and wandered up to the plaque that he’d been staring at. “Why aren’t you at the barbeque, Sweetheart?”

He shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans and was about to respond when strong arms roped around him.  “Steven.”

Hannah turned from the memorial with a wry smile. “See if you can talk my son into joining his friends.”

“Did you know that they perform weddings here?” Hackett asked before kissing Dillan’s neck.

Dillan glanced back at him. “No.”

Hackett moved his lips from Dillan’s neck to his mouth. “I’ve got time to change your mind.”

“She said joining my friends…not each other in marriage.” Dillan reminded him.

“I can be incredibly persuasive.” Hackett released him with a laugh.  He wrapped his arm around Dillan’s waist and they walked out of the plaza together. “What are you so worried about?”

 It turned out to be unnecessary for Dillan to answer.  Team Delta had decided that they had waited long enough.  Four of his former squad mates came over and physically dragged him towards the barbeque. He glanced back to find Hackett following with an amused look on his face.

The next few hours passed quickly as Dillan found himself welcomed into their midst.  The anxiety that he’d been feeling faded away.  They were in the middle of a shooting contest with sniper rifles and empty beer bottles when Hackett wandered over.

He waited until Dillan had taken his shot to rest his hands on his shoulders. “Nice shot.”

“It’s what I do.” Dillan handed the rifle to the next shooter.  He glanced back at Hackett. “I’m _very_ good with my hands.”

“Oh?”

“I _always_ get the _weapon_ pointed in the right direction.” He smirked at him. “Explosions are almost guaranteed.”

“Dillan.”

“Can you argue with the truth?”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Light filtered through the bedroom window and Dillan finally opened his eyes.  He glanced down to find Hackett sleep on his chest.  He ran his fingers through the grey hair on the head resting on him.   He hadn’t gotten much in the way of sleep.

“Steven.”

“Hmm?” A strong arm shifted across him, Hackett’s voice was low and gravelly with sleep. “”s too early.”

“You…” Dillan didn’t know how to ask the question that had kept him tossing and turning throughout the night. “Yesterday, at the plaza, you were…”

Hackett lifted his head up slowly at that.  His hand cupped Dillan’s face firmly as he woke up and tried to clear his head. “Do you want to marry me?”

It was what had been on Dillan’s mind.  His mom, Jamieson and his entire former squad were still on Elysium.  He wouldn’t be the _only_ Shepard in his family to have had a secret, impromptu wedding. 

He kept waiting for his general _fear_ of everything related to serious commitment to kick in.  It seemed to vanish whenever Hackett’s blue eyes were focused on him.  Or maybe it was the warm fingers caressing his jaw, fingernails teasing the stubble lightly.

“Would it help my cause if I licked your balls?” Hackett dragged his thumb hard over Dillan’s lips.

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Dillan heard a beep from his omni-tool and he rolled over on the bed to grab it from the side table. 

* * *

_From: Mom_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Morning._

_So when you and Steven wake up, and decide that you’re getting married._

_We’ll be waiting at the plaza.  And we’ll have the minister._

_So you just have to bring each other._

_Oh and Jamieson has the rings._

_Love,_

_Mom_

* * *

“Dillan?” Hackett grew concerned as he watched the muscles of Dillan’s back tighten.  He could _feel_ the tension in him.  He shifted across the bed to trace the lines of Dillan’s tattoo. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t _enjoy_ being _maneuvered_ into making decisions.” His voice held a sharp edge to it.  He stood up and moved away from the bed. “I should get back to the Terminus System.”

Hackett watched Dillan dress with a sense of confusion. “What the hell happened in the last five minutes?"

“Was it her idea?” Dillan paused as he pulled his jeans up.

“Who?”

Dillan ignored him and finished dressing.  He sat at the foot of the bed to pull his boots on. “Was the barbeque just a con to get me here?”

Hackett shifted up to sit beside him. “What _are_ you _talking_ about?”

Dillan pushed his hand away when he tried to stop him from lacing up his last boot. “I have to get out of here.”

“Dillan?” He raced out the door after him only to realize that he wasn’t _exactly_ dressed.

By the time that Hackett got back to their room, got dressed and tracked Dillan down, he’d already left Elysium.  He received a message form _his boyfriend_ suggesting that they needed a little time apart.  Dillan didn’t _appreciate_ anyone trying to manipulate him into a commitment.

Hackett found himself _incredibly_ confused and apparently singe.  Both were things that he didn’t _enjoy_.   He found Hannah and Jameison at the plaza.  The minute that he saw the group gathered, he thought he had a pretty good idea of what had happened.

It became clearer when Hannah asked if they hadn’t received her message.  An email that Jamieson rather forcefully suggested had been a terrible idea.  Hackett knew it would be impossible to catch up to Dillan now, especially once he was on the _Normandy_.  Hannah apologized multiple times, but he waved it off. He asked her to _please_ explain to _her_ son that he’d had no part in the planning of this.

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Elysium._

_I didn’t know what your mother was planning.  I wouldn’t do something like that to you._

_If and when we marry, I want it to be something that we both agree on._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Hannah_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Sorry._

_I’m so sorry, Sweetheart._

_I wasn’t thinking about you feeling pressured._

_And Hackett had no idea about it.  I just…assumed that you two would be thinking about it._

_I love you._

_Mom_

* * *

_From: Jamieson_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Radio Silence._

_Are you just going to ignore the lot of us forever?_

_We’ve apologized for being inconsiderate, pushy bastards._

_Stop being so damn quiet, it’s not natural._

_And contact your boyfriend. Admirals shouldn’t mope, it’s…also not natural._

_Jamieson_

* * *

Dillan had spent the last four days wrapping up a few missions.  He had Joker head back to the Citadel. Garrus and Thane had both asked for his help with personal problems.  He wished someone would help him with his own damn _personal_ issues.

While the three of them waited for Bailey to finish up with Kolyat, Dillan sat thinking about his…Hackett.  He’d been avoiding responding to anyone because he was embarrassed.  He’d made a complete fool of himself.  He over-reacted to his mom’s message and then falsely assumed that Hackett had been part of it.

The assumption was made worse by the fact that Hackett had never given him any indication that he’d manipulate him into something. He really wished he could redo that whole morning over without the damn message from _mom_.

_Damn it._

He loved her dearly but she did have a tendency to get a little head of herself at times.  Thane stayed to spend time with his son so Dillan had Zaeed join him and Garrus to find Fade.

Once they’d taken care of Garrus’ problem, Dillan headed to the Presidium. He figured if anyone could offer him advice, Anderson was a safe choice.   It wasn’t the councilor sitting behind the desk when he got there whoever.  It was Hackett…looking damn good in his dress blues.

_Sexy._

“You haven’t answered any of my messages.” Hackett stood up from behind the desk and moved towards him.

“Miss me?” Dillan tried to lighten the mood.

Hackett grabbed Dillan by the shirt tightly and yanked him closer.  His lips crashed into Dillan’s and his tongue pressed into his mouth.  With a hand on the back of Dillan’s head, Hackett explored his mouth possessively and…thoroughly.

“You missed me.” Dillan felt the uneasy tension in him disappear. “I’m sorry, especially since I missed out on getting my balls licked.”

“Marry me.” Hackett bit and tugged on Dillan’s lower lip. “Marry me.  Not because anyone else wanted it to happen or they fixed it all up for us.  But do it because I _love_ you.  I love you.  And I know that you love me. Please? Marry me.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan stood with his fingers clenched around the balcony railing. The air had been tense since Hackett had asked, well, he hadn’t _technically_ asked.  He’d told Dillan to marry him.  Love had been mentioned somewhere in there as well.

His problem now wasn’t that he wanted to say yes.  That was a given, he wanted to marry Hackett.  It had never been a question of yes or no. His issue was that he’d been stunned into silence.  Hackett had assumed a few things about his silence.

Hackett had moved over to lean against the desk and Dillan had moved to the balcony.  He had been trying to formulate a coherent response, a smooth fucking response for that matter.  Anderson had chosen that moment to step back into his _own_ office. 

_Damn it._

_Did the councilor not realize that Dillan was trying to have an awkward moment with his boyfriend?_

Two sets of eyes swung in his direction when Dillan laughed at the absurdity of the moment.  He turned away from them and continued to laugh.  It was completely insane, the whole damn thing.   With a wicked grin, he walked over to Hackett who was still in _serious_ conversation with Anderson. 

He leaned in to whisper, ‘ _yes,’_ into Hackett’s ear.  He knew that Hackett wouldn’t be able to respond or follow him given the serious nature of the discussion that he was having with Anderson.  His grin widened as he headed out of the office and embassy. 

All was always right with his world when he could frustrate at least one person.   The happy flash that he’d seen in Hackett’s eyes had been quickly followed by one of aggravation.  It hadn’t taken him long to realize that he couldn’t really do or say a damn thing about it.

Instead of heading back to the _Normandy_ , Dillan went to Dark Star Lounge to get a drink.  He figured that he wouldn’t have long to wait.  It was barely twenty minutes when he felt a strong hand gripping the back of his neck.  He twisted his head to the right to grin up at his _boyfriend_.

“Steven?”

“Don’t give me that innocent look.” Hackett ordered scotch from the bartender.  With hard squeeze to Dillan’s neck, he sat in the seat across from him.  “Yes?”

“Yes.”

“Is that all?”

“You could lick…well any part of me, let’s be honest.” Dillan swirled the shot of vodka before downing it in one gulp. “We should do it now.”

“Afraid you’ll change your mind?” Hackett asked once the bartender had left.

“Change?  The answer has been the same all along, Steven.  It wasn’t about ‘yes or no.’ I won’t be manipulated, and that’s what it felt like.”  He stretched his leg out under the table until his boot knocked against Hackett’s dress shoe. “We should leave.”

“Leave?”

“Yes.”

Hackett frowned at him.  Dillan paid for their drinks and then all but dragged him out of the lounge. “Are we in a hurry?”

Dillan continued walking with Hackett in tow.  They went around a corner and into in a secluded hallway that ran between two sections of the ward.  He pressed Hackett against a nearby wall in between two sets of stacked crates. 

Dropping to his knees, Dillan had Hackett’s pants and briefs down around his ankles before he could protest.   He’d missed the man, and the time that they’d had together had been ruined by pointless drama.  He fully intended to enjoy himself and then they would talk about other…serious things.

“Dillan. This is _not_ exactly private.” Hackett’s fingers dragged through Dillan’s hair before using it to tilt his head back. “What are you doing?”

“Indulging myself. Shut up and enjoy it.” Dillan ignored the slightly painful pull on his hair when he pushed his mouth back on Hackett’s cock. 

He moved his lips up and down on him.  His tongue circled around the head of Hackett’s cock when he eased off for a moment.  He smirked up at Hackett and then took him all the way into his mouth.   He loved the muffled sounds that his boyfriend was making.

They were in a secluded spot, but it was by no means private.  The _harder_ Dillan worked, the _more_ Hackett seemed to be struggling with keeping quiet.  The glint in his eyes promised revenge at some point, but Dillan wasn’t worried about it. 

With his fingers teasing and tugging on Hackett’s balls, he waited until the man seemed to be losing it and swallowed his whole cock.   Once he’d…licked…him clean, Dillan slid Hackett’s clothes up and got back to his feet.  He started out of the alley when a hand gripped the back of his t-shirt.

Hackett swung him back against the wall.   His lips descended on Dillan’s.  “You did that on purpose. You waited until I was in the middle of a conversation that I couldn’t extract myself from to answer the damn question.”

“Me? Would I do something so incredibly cruel?” Dillan reached up and used his upper body strength to move Hackett back.  He wrapped a strong arm around his shoulder and led him out of the hallway.  “I know this great little chapel. The chaplain’s a good friend of _yours_ , I’m sure he’d marry us.”

“Dillan.”

“Hmm?” He turned _innocent_ blue eyes towards Hackett.

“Smug. Impudent. Incorrigible.” Hackett seemed to be speaking to himself.

“Now, now.  You’re not that bad,” Dillan chuckled.

“You are…”

He glanced over to find that glint in Hackett’s eyes again. “I am…generously gifted with the most spectacular ass?”

“ _Mine._ ”

Two hours later, the _Normandy_ was on its way to Aiea.  He’d handled all of the other _missions_ for the rest of his squad.  It was time to check out the distress call that Jacob had told him about.  If anyone noticed the plain titanium band on one of the fingers of his left hand, they were wise enough to not bring it up.

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_From: Jamieson_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Continued Silence._

_Is there a reason that you’re still ignoring us, son?_

_Don’t make me send a squad after you._

_Jamieson_

* * *

_From: Mom_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Ignore My Husband._

_He’s not sending anyone after you._

_Please talk to us, Sweetheart._

_Mom_

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson; Mom_

_Subj: Lunatics._

_There are two important things that you should know._

_I love you both._

_And I don’t need your damn rings._

_Love,_

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Mom_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: re: Rings._

_Oh. My. God._

_You did it._

_Oh my god. And you didn’t tell me?_

_My husband is insisting that we might have deserved to not be informed.  He’s sleeping on the couch for the next few days._

_I am sorry that we pressured you._

_Love you,_

_Mom_

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Secrets._

_I thought we were keeping our…connection…a secret._

_I just received a very energetic ‘welcome to the family’ message from your mother._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: Secrets._

_It was tortured out of me._

_I have a very low pain threshold._

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: re: Secrets._

_You are full of…things._

_Steven_

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: Things._

_I’d rather be full of you._

_Dillan_

* * *

Joker interrupted him before he had a chance to read Hackett’s response.  They’d entered the Thorne system and it was time to retrieve the Reaper IFF.  He only hoped that this one didn’t turn into the complete cluster-fuck that the last _ship_ mission that they’d been sent on. 

Dillan took Garrus and Thane with him.  He’d left Zaeed on the _Normandy_ with a very specific task.  Kelly had been driving him up the wall trying to _politely_ interrogate him about the ring on his finger.  She hadn’t listened to his very _pointed_ request to stop.

He told Zaeed to over-share a few of his more _choice_ stories with her.  It might teach her a lesson on staying out of other people’s affairs.  It wasn’t completely her fault, but he couldn’t deal with the Illusive Man. 

They got the Reaper IFF and a bonus prize to go with it.  He never imagined all these years after Eden Prime that he’d be conversing with a geth.  A really weird one who had parts of his armor attached to its body.

_Bizarre._

Legion offered a solution to deal with the _heretics_ so Dillan set a course for the Sea of Storms.  He headed up to his quarters to shower and relax a little.  He’d felt a little tightening in his right shoulder while they were fighting through the husks on the disabled vessel.

He stepped out of the bathroom thirty minutes later feeling much better.  Instead of dressing, he tossed his towel aside and moved in front of his private terminal.   With a wicked grin, he sent a vid-comm hail to his husband and then shifted back enough that Hackett would be able to see most of his body.

“Dillan.” Hackett blinked a few times at him. “Did you forget your clothing?”

He let his hand drift casually over his muscled chest. “Hi.”

“Hi?”  Hackett’s eyes followed Dillan’s hand as it continued its path down to his lower abdomen. “Is this a _show_?”

“I like to think of it is torture. Slow, sexual torture.” Dillan’s fingers glided further to start to stroke his cock.

“Move your hand faster,” Hackett ordered. 

“Nope.”

Dillan took his time getting himself off.  It was difficult to maintain his unhurried façade with Hackett’s _endless_ attempts to entice him.  The things that man could do with his damn voice should not have been legal.   His arm shook a little with the strain of trying to stroke _leisurely._

He found himself following _Hackett’s_ words even though he wasn’t sure that he’d even been paying attention.  His eyes stayed focused on the man on the vid-screen as his fingers grazed over the head of his cock.  He tightened his grip and started pumping himself faster.  He had a brief moment to consider that this had been about tormenting Hackett before he made a mess of his hand and the floor.

“Good boy,” Hackett murmured.

“Yea, yea.  Don’t get all worked up, old man.” Dillan smirked back at him. “I need to get _cleaned_ up again.  I’ve got to take care of a little _geth_ problem.”

“Geth?”

“I’ll send you a report on it.  I’m sure the Alliance will find it _fascinating.”_ He stretched his finger out to disconnect the call. “Love you.”

The mission to the Heretic Station went relatively quickly.  He brought Tali with him.  Of all the members of the crew, she had the most interest and knowledge of the geth.  He thought it might broaden her perspective a little. 

They had one more mission to take care of once they’d finished with the geth. He had Garrus and Zaeed with him this time. The rest of the squad stayed on the shuttle. 

They were on their way back to the _Normandy_ in the Kodiak when EDI’s message about the Collector attack reached him.  Dillan paced angrily in the small space in the shuttle.   He was going to make them pay for this.  He had a brief flash of guilt for subjecting Kelly to Zaeed’s stories that he brushed aside.

_Time for that later._

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson; Mom; Steven_

_Subj: Omega-4 Relay_

_The Collectors took my crew._

_We’re heading through the relay now._

_Maybe I’ll survive this time._

_Love,_

_Dillan_


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The moment that the _Normandy_ was back through the Omega-4 Relay, Dillan had Joker dock on Omega.  He gave the Cerberus crew the option of leaving since he’d _officially_ quit.  The Illusive Man had not been amused.

_Dillan found it difficult to give a shit._

Miranda and Jacob had both chosen to lave along with a handful of the regular crew members.  He also had Kelly Chamber leave.  He didn’t trust her that close to his private terminal.

With that taken care of, Dillan had Joker make the jump to the Widow system.  They could get the needed repairs in dry-dock on the Citadel.  He worked with Kasumi, Tali and EDI to remove or disable all of the monitoring devices that were on the ship.  The unshackled AI was a lot more helpful that he anticipated.

He knew that he should probably message his mom or _his husband_ but he felt a little off.  His time with Cerberus was finally over.  He just didn’t know what that really meant for him. 

_Would the Alliance take him back?_

“Commander?”

He looked up from the Galaxy Map to find the two engineers standing in front of him. “Leaving?”

Dillan had been expecting most of the crew to leave on the Citadel.  He’d miss the two of them.  He’d won a fair number of credits from them playing poker.  The rest of the Cerberus crew left with them.  They could easily fly the _Normandy_ with a skeleton crew and EDI.

* * *

_From: Anderson_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: The Normandy._

_It’s been in dry-dock for the last two days._

_I haven’t seen or heard a word from Shepard._

_Have you?_

_David_

* * *

When the repairs were completed, Dillan finally left the ship.  He thought maybe talking to Anderson would be a good place to start.  The Councilor might know how the Alliance was going to respond to him.

It occurred to him as he made his way across the Presidium that _maybe_ he should’ve let his family know that he was alive.  He was standing outside the embassy preparing to send a message on his omni-tool when a strong hand grasped his shoulder.

“Steven.” He didn’t need to look back to know who it was.  The firm hold was all too familiar.

“Were you _going_ to tell me that you made it?” Hackett’s fingers firmly pressed his shoulder.

“I was just sending you a message.” Dillan raised up his still open omni-tool. “I needed a little time to think.”

“About?” Hackett looked suddenly concerned.

Dillan frowned at the change in his tone. “I’m no longer with Cerberus. I told The Illusive Man to shove it.”

“That doesn’t explain why you couldn’t message your damn husband.” Hackett’s hand fell away from him.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Hackett walked away muttering to himself.

Dillan rubbed the back of his neck in confusion.  It took a second for him to realize what Hackett was probably thinking.  He jogged to catch up to the still muttering Hackett.

With his hand on Hackett’s neck, Dillan turned him around and crushed his lips against his.  Oblivious to the fact that they weren’t in private, he held his husband tightly in place as the kiss deepened.  Hackett brought his own hand up to grip the back of Dillan’s neck.

“I don’t have any damn doubts about us.” Dillan punctuated each word with a touch of his lips to Hackett’s. “I _love_ you _._ I didn’t need to think about us.  You’re stuck with me, _old man.”_

“Is that so?”

“Of course.” Dillan’s lips quirked up into a crooked grin. “You’ll die first and I’ll get your benefits.”

“ _Dillan_.”

His grin widened at the aggravated sigh that he heard. “I think we need a honeymoon.”

“You mean sex.”

“Same difference.” Dillan draped his arm around Hackett’s shoulder as they walked back towards the embassy.

“As a matter of fact, I’ve already booked that cabin in Maui for the next two weeks.  Think you’ve got a little free time?” Hackett asked.

“I always have time for you…and your naked body.” Dillan trailed his fingers down the back of Hackett’s uniform to blatantly grope his ass.

_“Dillan.”_

While Hackett and Anderson talked about _Dillan’s_ future, he occupied himself by messaging with Hannah and Jamieson who were unsurprisingly together.  They were relieved to see him though he did receive a lecture about leaving them hanging for a few days.

With that taken care of, Dillan found himself… _bored_.   He leaned back in the chair and propped his feet up on Anderson’s desk.   Pulling up his omni-tool, he looked at the options in Maui.  He was going to need a whole new surfboard and wardrobe since everything that he’d owned had been tossed when he died.   

“Shopping spree?” Hackett bent down to rest his hands on either side of Dillan so he could see what was on Dillan’s omni-tool.

“Just the essentials.”

“How is _that_ an essential?”

Dillan twisted his head to smirk up at Hackett. “How is that _not_ an essential?”

Hackett was momentarily distracted by the view he had of the collar of Dillan’s shirt. “Did you get a new tattoo?”

Dillan looked over to make sure that Anderson was suitably occupied before pulling down the collar of his t-shirt to reveal a paw print tattoo. “I decided _not_ to get Hackett’s boytoy.”

“ _Dillan_.”

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

“I still don’t understand how this is _essential._ ” Hackett held up the blanket that Dillan had ordered with all of his other stuff.

Dillan wandered into the beach cottage in his board shorts.  He grabbed the blanket from Hackett and headed into the living room.  He turned on a war documentary that he’d been saving and stretched out on the couch with the blanket over him. 

“Dillan?”

He shifted the blanket down to brush the tip of his finger of the paw tattoo on his chest.  “I’m a tactile creature by nature.  The couch is big enough for you to join me.”

Hackett sat on the end of the couch and waited for Dillan to move up to rest his head on his leg.  His fingers began rubbing the spot on the back of Dillan’s neck that usually helped him ease into a more relaxed head space.   He used his short fingernails to scratch along his scalp.

“Good boy,” Hackett murmured quietly.  He’d been wondering when they were going to start dipping their toes into the _water_ so to speak with this aspect of their relationship.  He didn’t want to push Dillan.  This had to be on his terms.  He continued to casually caress him without moving lower than the tops of his shoulders. “Just enjoy.”

Dillan rolled over on his back and Hackett’s fingers drifted down to trace the new tattoo. “Sex, surfing and sun, my idea of the perfect honeymoon.”

“That’s your idea of the perfect everything,” Hackett laughed.

Dillan twisted over on his side and went back to watching the documentary.  He huffed at Hackett until he started his massage up again.  He draped his arm across Hackett’s legs.  “Back to work, old man.”

“Careful.” Hackett flicked him on the side of the neck.  He wasn’t sure if it was the flick or the tone in his voice but something had Dillan turning mischievous eyes towards him. “ _Dillan_.”

A wicked grin was the only response that he received.  His husband pushed the blanket away slowly and carefully. Hackett turned towards the screen and a second later, he found himself lifted up off of the couch.  He was spun around and shoved up against the nearby wall with a strong hand holding him there.

Dillan crouched behind him.  He yanked down Hackett’s board shorts.  He pressed his legs apart and then spread his cheeks enough that he could run his tongue along the crease. “I don’t _believe_ in caution.”

“Dillan?”

“My damn turn.” He pushed his hand harder into Hackett’s back as his tongue circled slowly before pressing into him.

With his hands gripping a shelf on the wall for support, Hackett found himself distracted by the tongue fucking him and the fingers stroking his cock.  They moved from his cock to his balls, teasing and tugging on them.  He leaned his head forward as Dillan picked up the pace.

He felt a sudden sense of loss as Dillan pulled away from him and stood up.   The hand on his back drifted up to slide into his hair.  His fingers tightened on the short hairs and tugged Hackett’s head back.  Dillan licked a slow path up his neck before biting down just under his jaw.

Twisting Hackett’s head to the side, their lips met in a hungry kiss.  Dillan’s other hand reached into his own shorts to pull out the lube that he must’ve tucked into his pocket earlier.  He flipped the lid to the floor and squirted enough to cover his fingers and his own cock. 

With the tube discarded on the floor, Dillan dragged the tips of his fingers over Hackett.  He smirked at him when Hackett couldn’t resist pushing back against them.  He kept his movements slow and light until Hackett gave him a warning glance. With an amused smiled, Dillan pressed two of his fingers hard into him.   

“I want you, not your damn fingers.” Hackett growled back at him.

“I said it was _my_ turn.” Dillan leaned up to capture Hackett’s mouth in another harsh kiss.  He had a feeling it was to keep him quiet.

Dillan twisted his fingers around one last time before pulling them out.  He grazed the head of his cock across Hackett’s ass.  He dragged it along the crease and then just barely eased it into him.  Hackett had enough of the slow tease.  He gripped the shelf in front of him tightly and snapped his hips back hard.  He groaned in satisfaction as it forced Dillan’s cock all the way into him.

“I thought patience came with age.” Dillan’s forehead dropped against Hackett’s back.  He shifted his own body forward to press firmly against him. “I love the way you feel.”

He had one hand still in Hackett’s hair that held his head against the wall. His other arm wrapped around his chest.  Dillan started thrusting into him so powerfully that it rocked his body.  Hackett reached down to stroke his cock but Dillan growled out a ‘no.’

“I want to see you come from this.” Dillan’s tongue drifted up from Hackett’s shoulder up to the back of his neck.  He nipped at the sensitive skin near his hairline.  “Just from me.”

Hackett was about to respond to him when Dillan shifted his angle and his cock drilled straight into spot that he’d clearly been looking for.  He couldn’t swallow the moan that it caused.  With a wicked chuckle, Dillan picked up his pace even more.  He hit the bundle of nerves with each movement. 

He shifted his mouth so that he could whisper in Hackett’s ears.  Between the filth from his husband’s lips and the pounding of his cock, Hackett felt his body tense before he exploded.  He spurted over the wall in front of him.  He clenched tightly around Dillan.  With a harsh cry, he pressed deep into Hackett and came as well.

Without a word, Dillan pressed a kiss against Hackett’s neck before pulling out of him.  He turned around and walked outside to the walled in shower that they used to rinse the ocean and sand off of them.  He rinsed himself off and shoving his shorts back on headed out down the beach with his surf board in hand.

Hackett watched him go with a slightly confused feeling.  He wasn’t sure what the hell had just happened.  He took his time showering, giving himself time to try to work his mind over the problem.  He pulled on his own shorts and grabbed a beach towel.  He wandered over the sand until he was close enough that he could watch Dillan surfing.

It was an hour before Dillan walked up with his board under his arm.  He lodged into in the sand and then knelt on the edge of the towel that Hackett was sitting on.  His fingers gripped Hackett’s shoulder almost painfully tight as he pulled him into a kiss.

“I’m married.” Dillan dropped his forehead against Hackett’s shoulder. “I have someone that I have to come home to.”

“Yes.” Hackett looped his arm around Dillan to hold him gently.

“I almost fell.”

“Fell?”

“We cut it a little too close when we were heading back to the _Normandy_ after we set the bomb to destroy the Collector base.  I had to jump into the airlock and I…didn’t make it far enough.  I had my fingers on the edge and they were slipping.” Dillan’s voice was steady but Hackett could feel the tension in his shoulders. “Zaeed pulled me into the ship.  I kept thinking about the damn ring on my finger.  How could I _not_ come back to you again?   It’s something that I don’t usually worry about.”

“Any regrets?”

Dillan tilted his head back a little.  “Yes.”

“Oh?”

“You never did lick my balls.” Dillan rolled over on his back on the sand when Hackett shoved him. “What? You didn’t.”

Hackett shifted over so he was leaning over Dillan. “Do you want to talk about why you suddenly needed to go surf?”

“No.”

“ _Dillan._ ”

His head fell back on the sand. He nudged Hackett until he was collapsed on the sand beside him.  His fingers drifted between them and found Hackett’s to intertwine them together. “I realized that I was on my honeymoon.”

“And this was a shock?”

Dillan’s fingers squeezed his hand lightly. “No.  I needed a moment to clear my head.”

“I thought you’d already done that.” Hackett teased him.

“I love you.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_What the hell?_

It was the first thing that came to Dillan’s mind when he woke up unable to move his arms and legs.  He opened his eyes and twisted his head around to discover that he tied to the bed posts.  He heard Hackett moving around in the living room of the cabin.

His cock initially hardened at the thought of what his husband might have in mind.  The longer that Hackett delayed coming in, the more time Dillan had to start thinking about the last time that he’d been tied up.  He tried to keep the memories at bay but it was like trying to stop a flood. 

Testing out the strength of the ties, Dillan took a deep breath and yanked hard repeatedly.  There was a massive crack when the bedpost finally gave way.  He had managed to untie his hands and was working on his left ankle when Hackett rushed in with no clothes on.

“What…”

Dillan finished untying himself.  He shoved his omni-tool on and pulled on the board shorts that he’d left on the floor the night before.  He paused to glance over at Hackett as he pulled on a pair of sneakers. “Do _not_ follow me this time.”

* * *

Hackett sat on the edge of the bed and pushed the ruined bed post to the floor.  He glanced up when Dillan stepped back into the room with his shoes already kicked off. He held the ties loosely in his hand.  After a long tense silence, Dillan handed them over to him and took his shorts off.

“Dillan?”

“I’m sorry.” He closed Hackett’s fingers around the ties and then stretched out on the bed again. “Are you waiting for an invitation to tie me up and lick my balls?”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh I _definitely_ want your tongue on them.” Dillan smirked at him.

Hackett watched his husband for a few second.  He twisted around so he was sitting close enough that his knee rested against Dillan’s leg.  His fingers started to caress the inside of his leg from his ankle up to his inner thigh.  “I planned to be in here with your cock in my mouth when you woke up.  You woke up faster than I anticipated.”

“I’ve _always_ been an early riser.” Dillan gestured to his _very_ hard cock.

He tossed the ties aside after a moment.  He had a much better idea.  He took Dillan’s wrists in his hand to bring his arms up over his head. “Don’t _move_ them.”

There was a brief flash of relief in his husband’s eyes before Dillan nodded with his normal crooked grin.  Hackett took his time as he gently grazed every inch of Dillan’s body with his fingers.   He replaced his fingers with his tongue when he got up to his neck and started the path back down to his cock.

_“Steven.”_

Hackett continued his slow tease as the man underneath him struggled to stay still.  He’d spent the few minutes that Dillan was gone kicking himself for not being there when he’d woken up.  It hadn’t been his best idea.  He placed easy licks along his hard cock while he pressed his legs further apart. 

He played with Dillan’s balls.  He brought his fingers back up to force Dillan to suck on them.  Once they were sufficiently moist, Hackett moved them down to drag along his perineum and further down.  He kept just the head of his cock in his mouth.  His casual sucking not enough to get him off but sufficient to have him begging for more. 

Dillan’s fingers clenched together tightly as he worked hard not to buck up off of the bed.  The hints of desperation in his eyes and quiet groans were hard Hackett to ignore.  He moved up to grip him by the waist and flip him over on his stomach. 

He spread Dillan’s legs so that he could shift up between them.  Pressing him safe into Dillan, Hackett let his weight rest against his back.  He licked at the line of sweat that had gone from Dillan’s neck along his spine.  Dillan twisted his head around so that they could share a kiss.

“Fuck _me_ , damn it.” Dillan seemed to still be struggling not to move his arms from their clasped position above his head. “Please.”

“I love you,” Hackett murmured against his ear as he started a bruising pace that pressed Dillan into the mattress.

He gripped Dillan’s thighs firmly with one hand as he ground down into him.  Dillan couldn’t keep still any longer.  He gripped the sheets for purchase as he began to thrust back against Hackett.  Their bodies slamming into each other hard enough that Hackett knew they’d both have bruises.

“Oh…god.” Dillan groaned as Hackett reached underneath him to start stroking his cock. 

Hackett gripped him hard as his fingers moved along Dillan’s shaft.  He loved the way that Dillan clenched around him.  He felt the body underneath him tense before warm cum spurted into his hand.  The tightening around his own cock caused him to bite down on Dillan’s back as he pressed deeper while he came.

Collapsing against Dillan’s back, Hackett took a moment to enjoy the pleasured haze as he softened inside Dillan.  When he slid out of him, Dillan twisted around underneath him.  He wrapped a leg around Hackett and his hands gripped him by the shoulders to tug him down into a kiss.

“I _love_ you.” His husband dragged him down against his chest and pressed his face into Hackett’s neck. “I knew you’d lick my balls  eventually.”

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan sat on his surfboard with his legs dangling in the water.  He watched his husband as he surfed effortlessly towards shore.  He was damn sexy.  He let the waves move him around while he enjoyed the view.

Hackett walked out of the water up the sand towards a couple of Alliance officers that were waiting for him.  Dillan waited for a larger wave to climb up on his board.  The two men were gone when he finally made it back to the beach.

“Steven?”

Hackett held a towel out for him. “I need you to rescue a friend of mine.”

“A friend?” Dillan rubbed his head vigorously with the towel. His brow furrowed as he noted the serious look on his husband’s face. “When do I need to leave?”

“Now,” Hackett answered regretfully.

Dillan grabbed his board to head for their cabin.  He rinsed off in the shower stall on the deck and then dried off.  He went straight to the terminal in the living room to send a message to Joker.  The _Normandy_ would need to make the jump to Sol to pick him up in Maui.

He had just started to pack up his clothes when he looked up to find Hackett watching him. “The _Normandy_ will be here in two hours.”

“Dillan.”

“Steven.” He met Hackett’s eyes for a moment and then went back to gather up his stuff.  He threw a pair of socks at his husband. “Is it too much to ask to have a few weeks of uninterrupted time for once in my life? Someone always needs something from me.”

“It’s a life or death situation.”

Dillan glanced up at him once again. “It always is.”

He spent the next hour or so waiting on the deck for the Kodiak to pick him up.  Hackett tried to get him to talk but Dillan wasn’t interested.  He read through the report on Doctor Amanda Kenson to get an idea of what he was getting himself into.

_Batarians._

It was difficult for him not to think about the last damn time he’d been in Maui.  His trip had been interrupted by an important mission that time as well.  He’d ended up dying as a result.

“Are you going to say anything to me at all before you go?” Hackett stood by the door looking incredible uneasy.

Dillan set the datapad in his hand to the side. “The last time that we were here, I left early and we know how fucking brilliantly that ended.”

“It’s not…”

“Steven.” Dillan gestured towards the approaching shuttle. “I hope you enjoy the surfing.”

He needed to get away or he was going to say something that he’d regret later.  A firm hand on his shoulder stopped him as he started to step into the Kodiak.  He found it impossible to turn towards Hackett.

The hand moved from his shoulder to firmly stroke the back of Dillan’s neck.  He tossed his bag into the shuttle and finally let himself be shifted around so he was facing his husband.  The fingers on his neck continued to massage him.

“I’m sorry.” Hackett took another step closer. “I don’t want our time here to end.”

“But?”

“It’s what we do.  We’re in the Alliance. We try to save people.” Hackett frowned when Dillan reached up to pry his fingers away from him.

“I’m _not_ in the Alliance, remember? They haven’t reinstated me, and I doubt that they will.” DIllan pushed Hackett away from him.  “I’ll go be the Alliance’s little errand boy again.”

He stepped backwards into the shuttle and told the pilot to leave.  He was still angry with Hackett.  The Alliance had multiple special operations units at its disposal.  There was no damn reason that one of those teams couldn’t have handled this problem.

_His damn honeymoon._

He wasn’t sure what bothered him the most. Hackett hadn’t hesitated to interrupt their first real alone time together since he’d come back to life.  But beyond that, he hadn’t really _asked_ Dillan if he wanted to do it.  He’d assumed that the answer was ‘yes’ and moved on with the details of the mission.

Making his way on to the _Normandy_ , Dillan told Joker to head for Aratoht.  He made his way up to the armory to get his weapons and gear ready.  Cleaning his sniper rifle always seemed to help Dillan clear his head; he was on the third time before he realized that it was pointless.

* * *

_From: Mom_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Are you ok?_

_We haven’t heard from you in a few days._

_Steven’s back on Arcturus. What’s going on, Sweetheart?_

_Love you,_

_Mom_

* * *

_From: Jamieson_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Dillan._

_What the hell is going on?_

_He’s not responding to anyone’s messages._

_Jamieson_

* * *

Dillan could see the relay that the asteroid was rapidly approaching as he destroyed the mech that stood between him and comm relay.  He rushed on the ship when he flew in to pick him up.  Yelling for Joker to get the hell out of the system, he watched the system disappear on the galaxy map.

_Brilliant._

_Just damn brilliant._

He found Hackett waiting in the Med Bay after Chakwas had given Dillan the once over.  He resisted the urge to rush over to him.  Instead, he stayed seated on the bed and glared at the man walking towards him.

“What the hell happened down there?” Hackett asked with concern evident in his voice.

Dillan grabbed his report and threw it at Hackett. “Read it your damn self.”

_“Dillan.”_

“Yes?” He stood up with his arms folded across his chest to glare at Hackett. “Got any other missions that you want to send me on? The last one went fucking fantastic.”

“Will you please stop for a second?” Hackett set the report on Chakwas’ desk. “I was worried about you.”

“I’d really like to stop having _near_ death experiences.” Dillan needed to get out of the Med Bay.  “Your friend was indoctrinated, Steven.  She kept me sedated for two days; I didn’t have time to warn the batarians.  I almost didn’t have time to make it out alive.”

“I’ll read the report.” Hackett moved closer and brought his hands up but Dillan brushed them away. “The Alliance…”

“Can suck my dick.” Dillan shoved Hackett out of the way and stormed towards the elevator.  He told EDI to have Joker head for Sol. 

Hackett followed him up to his quarters. Dillan ignored him as he tossed aside his armor in a pile by the bed.  He dodged around his husband to head into his shower.  He leaned his hands against the wall and let the warm water ease away some of his tension.

He stayed in longer than he needed to because he didn’t want to deal with Hackett.  He finally wrapped a towel around his waist and headed back into his living quarters.  Hackett sat on the couch waiting patiently for him.  He appeared to have read through the report on Aratoht.

It was almost impossible to look angry with nothing but a towel on.  Dillan stood with his hands resting on the top of the fabric.  He raised an eyebrow at the man looking up at him.

“Are you ready to talk?”

“No.”  Dillan tossed his towel aside and stepped over the coffee table so that he stood over Hackett.  He bumped his hardening cock against Hackett’s lips. “Suck it.”

“Excuse me?” Hackett glanced up at him with a vaguely amused look on his face.

“You heard me.” Dillan shifted his hips a little so he smacked his husband in the mouth. “Do something useful with your tongue.”

His fingers grasped the hair on the top of Hackett’s head. He pressed his cock against Hackett’s lips.  With an amused grin, he slowly took Dillan’s cock into his mouth.  His hands gripped Dillan’s ass. 

The two of them struggled to control the pace as Dillan thrust forward while Hackett seemed content to take his _sweet_ time.  He fucked Hackett’s mouth at a bruising speed.  He finally pulled back once he’d cum down Hackett’s throat.

He didn’t actually feel any better, just…more tired than he’d been before.  He frowned at Hackett and then walked over to fall face first on the bed with a groan.  He rolled over on his back to stare up at the viewing window overhead.

“Steven.”

“Hmm?” Hackett sat on the edge of the bed closest to Dillan.

“I fought through eight waves of indoctrinated soldiers, including a damn ymir mech.” Dillan gestured to the massive bruise that was messing up the coloring of the tattoo on his back. “Rockets hurt when they explode _on_ you.”

Hackett leaned across him with his hand resting on the other side of Dillan.  “I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have left like that.  I kept thinking while I was fighting my way through the base that I might not make it…again.  And I was so fucking pissed off at myself for letting that be _your_ last memory of me.” Dillan smirked up at him. “I thought smacking you in the face with my dick was a much better memory.”

“ _Dillan._ ”

“I love you.”

Hackett touched the ring on Dillan’s finger. “I love you too.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace 
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Hackett sat in his office on Arcturus.  He was working hard to minimize the damage caused by Dillan’s actions while attempting to rescue Kenson.  He glanced up when the door opened and Jamieson stepped in with a vaguely familiar marine behind him.

“Gentlemen.” Hackett had wondered when he’d receive a visit from Jamieson.  He acknowledged their salutes and gestured towards the chairs on the other side of his desk.

“I know Admiral Anderson is going to be escorting Dillan to Earth.  I thought perhaps you might consider the fact that he’s going to need someone watching his back with the Batarians wanting his head.” Jamieson gestured to the large Lieutenant behind him. “Vega spent a bit of time with my boys training.  He’s a good marine, a little hard-headed, but Dillan will appreciate that.”

“Will he?” Dillan stepped into the office with a bemused look on his face.  He looked Vega over from head to toe.  “Will he be shirtless? I’d definitely appreciate it if he were shirtless most of the time.”

“Aren’t you married, son?” Jamieson chuckled.

“I might be in the market for a _younger_ model.” Dillan gave Hackett a crooked grin as Vega backed away from the advancing Admiral. “Steven?”

Hackett gripped Dillan firmly by the back of the neck and forced him forward until their lips were barely touching. “Thinking about trading me in?”

“Worried old man?” Dillan’s voice was low enough that the other two wouldn’t hear him.   From the quirk of his lips, Hackett knew that his husband was thoroughly enjoying himself.  “I can’t help it that I appreciate all the _finer_ things in life.”

“Stop being so damned appreciative.” Hackett closed the minute distance between their lips. 

“Why?” Dillan winked at him then easily ducked out of his hold to walk back over to Jamieson. “So why is the Lieutenant here?”

“Are you sure that you weren’t raised by wolves?” Jamieson shook his head with a laugh before cuffing Dillan on the back of the head.

“You were there for part of it, so you’d know better than most.” Dillan held his hand out towards Vega. “It’s good to meet you, Lieutenant.  I apologize for making you uncomfortable.”

“Commander.” Vega still looked a little confused as he shook Dillan’s hand. “Loco.”

“What? Me?” Dillan grinned at the man. “Only a little bit.”

Hackett decided it was time to redirect the conversation back to where it was _supposed_ to be going.   He discussed the plans for the next few weeks with Jameison.  Dillan seemed uninterested in most of it.  Since he’d come back from Aratoht, he’d been a little withdrawn.  He had also been using humor to deflect any attempts at in-depth conversation.

He wasn’t all that surprised by it.  Dillan had a history of avoiding dealing with deeper issues in his life.  It was why he had become so gifted at talking his way through psyche evals.  He knew what to say to convince everyone that he was _doing_ just fine.

Once they finished up in his office, Hackett told Vega that he was effectively on shore-leave until Dillan was ready to head to Earth.  Hackett and Jamieson then turned towards the Commander who was _immediately_ on edge.   He would’ve started for the door if Jamieson hadn’t been standing in front of it.

He stood between the two men in the center of the room with his arms folded across his chest.  The crooked smile was gone, replaced by a stubborn glare that didn’t bode well for any attempt at conversation.  He kept glancing back and forth at the two men.  He appeared to be completely willing to wait for one of them to start speaking first.

“Dillan.”

The blue eyes that turned towards Hackett were completely devoid of emotion.  He hated it when Dillan did that.  He started to ask him about Aratoht but stopped as Jamieson stepped closer to his husband.

“I’m going to let you talk with your husband.  I’ll be at the apartment if you want to see me later.” Jamieson eased Dillan into a hug. “Let him in, son. It’ll do you good to have someone that will share all that shit that you keep bottled up inside.”

Dillan shrugged him off but Jamieson just tapped him lightly on the chest and walked away.  He waited until the door had closed to speak. “I used to wish he was my dad.”

“You should tell him that.” Hackett sat on the edge of his desk.  He didn’t want to pressure Dillan, he’d likely respond by leaving.  “I’m serious, that man cares very deeply about you and your mom.  You should tell him sometime how you feel.”

Dillan scratched his jaw absently for a moment. “I know.”

“So?”

Dillan just shrugged in response. “Three hundred thousand.”

_“Dillan.”_

“I don’t even like batarians.  Every single one that I’ve made has been a complete bastard for the most part. I saw plenty of them in action on Elysium.” He walked over to look at one of the paintings on Hackett’s office wall.  He stared up at it though Hackett wasn’t certain he was really seeing it. “Three hundred thousand lives erased in less than a minute.  I wonder if they knew it was happening.”

“You can’t…”

“Think about it?” Dillan glanced back at him. “I had limited choices on Aratoht.  It would be easy to be angry with you for sending me there.  It had to be done.  Three hundred thousand won’t seem all that large when the reapers finally arrive.  I may have delayed them but I haven’t stopped them.  It’ll be billions of lives in the blink of an eye.”

“Dillan.”

“You told me to take the hit. I’m taking the damn hit.  I don’t need you or Jamieson bugging me at every damn step of the way to see if I’m alright.  I’m fine or as fine as I can be.” He smiled then, the quirky grin that made Hackett’s heart skip a damn beat.  “You were jealous of Vega.”

“No.”

“Liar.” Dillan’s grin grew into a full smirk.

Hackett paused to seal his door before stepping over to his still smirking husband.  He gripped him by the back of the neck in a now familiar move.  He stroked and massaged Dillan there until the tension had left his shoulders.

The truth was that Hackett had felt a flash of jealous initially.  He knew Dillan was teasing him and that he had nothing to worry about.  But he didn’t really want those blue eyes looking anywhere but at him.  His fingers tightened on him slightly.

“Jealous.” Dillan repeated with an air of complete confidence. 

He was backing Dillan up towards the couch when he grabbed Hackett by the wrist and guided his hand up to his chest.   He paused to lift up his shirt and then placed Hackett’s hand over the paw tattoo.  _Ahh._  He pressed Dillan down on the couch and wandered over to find something in one of the storage lockers behind his desk.

Turning back around, he found his husband sitting in his boxers on the couch.  Hackett shook his head with a laugh.  He held up the dark blue blanket in his hand.  He caught the way Dillan’s eyes lit up for a brief second before he was back to his normal smirk.

“Hand out of your boxers.” Hackett had a feeling that what his husband needed was comfort, not sex.  Jamieson had been right when he’d talked with Hackett earlier. 

The deaths on Aratoht were bothering Dillan more than he wanted to admit.  Sex wouldn’t be anything but a distraction.  And he didn’t need a distraction.  He spent too much time trying to distract himself from things.

Hackett double checked that his door was locked before stretching out on the couch.  He motioned for Dillan to move into his arms as he wrapped him up in the blanket.  He grumbled under his breath for a few minutes before settling down against Hackett.  He rested his head against Hackett’s chest.

Dillan nuzzled against his neck and huffed at him until he started rubbing his head and neck.  Hackett had to chuckle at him.  Dillan made an uncertain sound in his throat that Hackett thought might have been a whine.   He murmured an apology for laughing at him.  He’d come to realize over the last few weeks that when he was in this head space, Dillan was a lot more…uncertain.

They stayed together for several hours.  Hackett ignored the pinging on his vid-comm and his terminal.  Dillan tilted his head back with a concerned look but Hackett just pushed him back down.  This was more damn important to him.

“I love you.” Dillan sat up on the couch with Hackett’s arm still around his waist.

“I _love_ you.” Hackett watched Dillan up his omni-tool.  “Everything ok?”

“Just need to send a message.” He leaned down to kiss Hackett before turning back to his omni-tool.

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson_

_Subj: Hackett occasionally has good points._

_I remember the first time that mom brought you home after the divorce. I was still nursing a broken jaw from…well you already know that story._

_You were a smug bastard and I thought you’d be perfect for mom._

_I didn’t anticipate that you’d look out for me. I hope I haven’t disappointed you over the years.  I know Neil Shepard was constantly disappointed in his son._

_I always found myself wishing that you were my father.  It felt silly since I was already in the Alliance, a grown man.  But…I could imagine how different things would’ve been at home if you’d been…I guess it doesn’t matter now._

_I just wanted you to know that I’ve always respected you and loved you like you were my dad.  You’ve gone above and beyond for me so many times, especially after Doyle._

_Thanks._

_Dillan_

* * *

_From: Jamieson_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: re: Fatherhood._

_The day that I married, actually, the day that I started dating your mother, I looked at you as a son.  Neil was damn bastard.  He was a bully and a disgrace to fathers.  He was a coward._

_You deserved a better man in your life growing up, someone that loved you for who you were, not someone trying to beat you into a certain mold._

_I have never been disappointed in you.  Not sure about your taste in men, Hackett’s older than me but whatever floats your boat.  You can tell him that I said he’s an old fucking man.  _

_I’ve always considered you to be my son.  I love you. I’ll always be there for you._

_You are a good man, a strong man. Your father was fucking idiot._

_Your mother and I are having dinner at that Italian place that you like.  We expect you and Hackett to meet us there.  Try to have clothes on._

_Love,_

_Jamieson_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a shout out to MissMeggo929 for helping me brain storm


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Arcturus was home for Dillan for the following three weeks while Anderson wrapped up everything on the Citadel.  He had turned over his councilor duties to Udina and as an _Admiral_ would be heading to Earth.   It had been Hackett’s idea to have someone on Dillan’s side close enough to be able to sway the Defense Committee.

The _Normandy_ remained docked on Arcturus.  The only members of the crew left were Chakwas and Joker.  They’d be making the jump with Anderson, Dillan and Vega to Earth whenever Admiral Anderson was ready.

He enjoyed having the extra time to spend with his husband, but the waiting was killing Dillan.   He had let himself get bored which was always a dangerous thing.  He’d gone through thirty clips in his sniper rifle at the range.  He tossed the last one aside and put the weapon back in the armory.

Wandering back across Arcturus, Dillan found himself at Hackett’s office.  He stepped inside to find the man in the middle of a vid-conference.  He made sure the door to the office was sealed.  The screen was facing away from him so Dillan slouched down on the couch with a grin on his face.

Pulling up the hem of his shirt, Dillan slid his hand along the chiseled contours of his abdomen.  His fingers traced the taut muscles before starting to ease down his pants.  He kept his gaze on Hackett who was giving him a pained glance.

He shifted around on the couch once he’d kicked off his jeans and boxers.  He began a slow, rolling motion that gave Hackett quite an impressive view of his body.  His fingers drifted down further to stroke his cock. 

The smirk never left his face as he watched Hackett struggle to pay attention to whoever he was talking with.  He had to smother his moans with his arm as he caressed his body languidly.  He took his time bringing himself off.  His eyes never left his husband’s face when he spurted on his hand and abdomen.

He brought his fingers up and licked himself clean… _slowly_.  From the glint in Hackett’s eyes, he was going to _pay_ for this later.  Since the meeting seemed to be continuing, Dillan grabbed a tissue from the coffee table and dried himself.

With a quirk of his lips and wink, Dillan walked out of the room to leave Hackett to finish his conference and suffer in what he knew was blue ball hell.  He’d run out of things to occupy his time so he headed down a few levels until he reached Jamieson’s office.    He was sitting across from him talking about plans for the future when Hackett walked in and stopped at the sight of Dillan.

“Steven?” Jamieson raised an eyebrow at the _stormy_ look in Hackett’s eyes. “Is everything alright?”

“I just need a word with your _son._ ” Hackett grabbed Dillan by the arm and dragged him towards the door. “He’ll see you later.”

Dillan grabbed the frame of the door to stop their forward movement. “I was in a meeting.”

“So was I.” Hackett grumbled into his ear. “Jamieson can wait.”

“Is there a problem?” Jamieson seemed _highly_ amused.  “Do I need to file charges of domestic violence?”

“You’ll definitely want to add molestation to the list of charges.” Dillan’s grin widened as Hackett finally managed to shove him out the door.  “See you for dinner.”

“I’m never letting you out of the damn bedroom.” Hackett’s voice was low and dark as he dragged Dillan towards an elevator that led down to the floor where his apartment was.  They waited _impatiently_ for the doors to open only to find someone already inside of it.

Dillan went from simply smiling to laughing so hard that tears poured from his eyes.  His mother had stepped out of the elevator and immediately slid her arm through one Hackett’s.  She started talking about the dinner that she was preparing as she walked the Admiral back towards Jamieson’s office.

_He was so dead._

_Dead._

_Dead._

_But he was going to die laughing his damn ass off._

They ended up leaving from the office to head straight to his mom’s apartment for dinner.  Jamieson was just as amused as Dillan.  Hannah seemed confused by it all and Hackett had a wicked, plotting gleam in his eyes that should’ve given Dillan a moment of…concern. 

_It didn’t stop him from continuing to torture Hackett throughout dinner._

_Where would the fun in that be?_

“Dillan.”

He looked up from his cake towards his mother. “Hmm?”

“Stop teasing your husband before his head implodes.” Hannah shook her head with a sigh.

“Me?” Dillan took another bite of cake. “I’m just eating dinner.”

“In the most provocative manner that I have ever seen, I’m scarred for the rest of my life.” Jamieson threw a napkin across the table at him. “Go to your own damn apartment if you’re going to do that shit. Damn.”

“I don’t have an apartment.” Dillan focused all of his attention on the dessert in front of him.

“Admiral, you have my full permission to drag my son out of this room to _your_ apartment.” Hannah remarked casually before starting to clear the table.  

“Fine but I’m taking the plate with me.” Dillan let himself be pulled from the room but kept his fingers firmly on the plate of strawberry cake.

The cake went to good use ten minutes later when Dillan had Hackett _secured_ to the bed.  He smeared the cake across Hackett’s body from his neck all the way to his groin.  He licked and sucked _his_ dessert off of the plate that refused to stay still.

“How is it that you teased me all damn day and I’m still being teased?” Hackett frowned at him.

“I’m lovable and devastatingly handsome.” Dillan dragged his tongue through a bit of frosting on the head of Hackett’s cock. “And I give good head.”

“ _Dillan_.”

“I am bored. I told you that I was bored. Consider this punishment for ignoring my warnings.” He went back to paying careful attention to his husband’s body. He didn’t tease Hackett for long though.  He gave him the _good_ head that he had promised and released him once he’d climaxed. 

Hackett grabbed him by the neck once he’d finished and yanked him down on the bed beside him.  His fingers found the spot that always made Dillan relax into his touch.   He shifted them on their sides and his free hand moved down to start stroking Dillan’s cock.

_“Steven.”_

It was Dillan’s turn to complain at the _far too slow_ and _far too gentle_ touches.  The combination of the firm manipulation of his neck with the casual stroking on his cock took Dillan by surprise.  They hadn’t really combined the two…worlds in bed yet. 

He tensed up a little as he considered it and both of Hackett’s hands froze on him.  Leaning forward, he nudged his nose against Hackett’s neck.   He huffed against his skin and then bucked up against the hand on his cock.  It might’ve been cowardly, but he wasn’t ready to voice what he wanted.

Hackett seemed to be attuned to his thoughts.  With a murmured ‘good boy,’ the fingers picked up their ministrations on him again.  Dillan pushed the almost crippling fears from his mind and sank into enjoying what Hackett was offering to him.

He was always amazed at how Hackett knew how far to push him.  Dillan didn’t always know where his own lines were drawn but his husband did.   He wasn’t sure if it was the fingers on his neck or on his cock or the constant stream of gentle praise and encouragement being murmured in deep, gravelly tones into his ear. 

The orgasm that hit him was the hardest that he could ever recall having.  His hips jerked up violently as his cum seemed to literally go everywhere.   He sank back into the mattress on his back with a breathless sigh.  He grimaced a little at the sticky cum and leftover cake that now covered both of them and the bed.

_Shower._

_Clean sheets._

_His husband was a sexy, damn bastard._

“I appear to be covered in frosting.”

Dillan’s lips quirked up into a crooked smile. “Are you saying that I’ve turned you into a dirty old man?”

 

 


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Jamieson sat in the back of the room where the committee was questioning Dillan.  He’d been there for the last two weeks.  He wanted the bastards to understand that Dillan wasn’t _alone_.   His concern about the man that he considered to be a son was starting to grow. 

The two months in the brig so far had not been good for him.  Dillan looked completely drained of energy and emotion.   His smirk was gone.  He answered questions with as few words as possible.  He didn’t even perk up when Jamieson brought up Hackett visiting.

Stupidly, the thing that worried Jamieson the most was that Dillan hadn’t flirted with _anyone_.  It just wasn’t…normal.  Hannah had been reassigned to command of one of the ships in the Fifth Fleet, so she couldn’t come to check on him.  

As a surfer, Dillan thrived on the freedom of being out in the ocean.  It’s something that he’d heard the man talk about numerous times.  For him to now be incarcerated with someone always near or around him, it was probably his worst nightmare come to life. 

Slipping out the back of the conference room, Jamieson pulled up his omni-tool to send a message to Hackett.   He didn’t give a damn if the Admiral had an Alliance to run, his husband needed him _now_.  He had no intention of watching Dillan sink deeper into himself.

_Not this time._

_Not like he had after Doyle._

Jamieson stepped back into the room once he was finished to find that the _interrogation_ session was over the day.  Vega stood awkwardly by the door and gestured to where Dillan sat unmoving with his head in his hand.  He dismissed Vega and stepped over to sit beside the Commander.

“Son?”

“Do you think anyone would notice if I broke out of the brig?” Dillan straightened up in the chair and dragged his fingers through his short hair. He’d let it grow a little longer than normal.  It was starting to get shaggy and unruly.  _Also not normal Dillan behavior._  “I can hear you worrying with you actually saying anything.”

Jamieson forced a smile on his face as he turned towards him. “Have dinner with me.”

“Why?”

“You don’t have to spend all of your time in that room.  You can…”

“…wander around as long as Vega or someone else is with me?” Dillan finished for him.  “Why bother?”

“I’m worried.”

“I’m fine,” Dillan shrugged off his concern.

“Dillan.” Jamieson needed to get him some fresh air. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“Why?” The blue eyes that looked over at him were missing their normal mischievous glint.  With another apathetic shrug, Dillan finally stood to follow him out of the room.

_It was a start._

If someone had told Jamieson that he’d be complaining about a quiet Dillan, he would’ve laughed in their face.  It was completely unnerving to see him like this.  He watched with growing concern as they walked from the Alliance compound to the promenade by the bay.  He’d known being cooped up would be bad for the young man, but he hadn’t imagined it would be this detrimental.

Dillan went down to the end of one of the piers.  He squatted down to dip his fingers in the water. “It’s not his fault.”

“I know.”

“Then…” Dillan stood back up and gave him a confused look.  “Why were you so angry when we arrived in Vancouver?”

“He should’ve _stayed_ with you.” Jamieson draped an arm across Dillan’s shoulders as they continued their walk. “He left for Arcturus too damn soon.  You’re his husband, you needed him.”

“Jamieson.”

He didn’t get a chance to respond.  Vega rushed up with a message for him.  He left Vega to escort Dillan to the detention center as he headed to his own quarters.  He went straight to his private terminal.

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Jamieson_

_Subj: re: Dillan_

_I sent a package for him.  It should arrive shortly; make sure he gets it…unopened._

_I’ll be in Vancouver as soon as I can._

_Steven_

* * *

“You have a package.” Jamieson set a container on the table and looked over at Dillan who was standing by the window. “Try and sleep.”

He waved off the man’s concern and waited until he was alone to look at the container.  It contained his blanket and a copy of _The Art of War_.  Dillan stared at the blanket without any of the normal warm feelings that came with it.  He left it in the container.

Sitting on the bed, Dillan tried to get through the first paragraph of the book.  He finally tossed it aside after he read the same sentence for the sixth time.  He found it hard to be bothered to care about anything at the moment.

Dillan generally hated to be alone.  His days were currently spent either painfully alone or with a constant guard.  He wasn’t sure which he hated the most. 

_The confinement._

_He definitely hated being locked up the most._

He sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.  The door slid open but he ignored it. He had no interest in dealing with either Vega or Jamieson.  He’d had enough of them both for one day.  They treated him like he was having a nervous breakdown.

He wasn’t.  It wasn’t that simple.  He just hated the idea that he was no longer in control of where he went or what he did.  It played on all of his fears.  It reminded him of Doyle…and that was something that he didn’t need shoved into his face.

A firm hand rested on the back of his neck.  Dillan closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch.  He let his own hands fall from his face so he could look into his husband’s eyes.   Hackett frowned down at him so he must’ve looked worse than he thought.

“Let’s go.”

When Dillan just stared up at him in confusion, Hackett used his grip on his neck to lift him up from the bed.  He paused to grab the box from the table and then continued out of the room.  Dillan found himself being led to a waiting shuttle. 

“Waiting for a written invitation?” Hackett pushed him inside when he hesitated. 

Dillan shrugged and made his way over to one of the seats in the back of the shuttle.  He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.  The shuttle ride seemed to last a lot longer than he thought.  He finally opened his eyes when his curiosity became too much for him.

“We’re going to Santa Cruz. It’ll take a few hours.” Hackett answered the question before he could actually ask it.

“Santa Cruz?”

“Steamer Lane.” Hackett gestured to the two surf boards that he hadn’t seen before that were leaned against the side of the shuttle.  He caught sight of duffle bag on the floor as well.

“Steamer Lane?” Dillan remembered talking to Hackett about how he’d spent six months surfing all the best spots on the California coast line.  He’d liked the northern California beaches the best.  Santa Cruz was definitely on the top of his list. “Surfing. But…the defense committee…”

“The Alliance hasn’t forgotten the amazing sacrifices that you’ve made over the course of your exemplary career.” Hackett sounded like he was quoting…something…probably himself. “I also threatened them with the prospect of Team Delta who don’t appreciate your being locked up.”

Dillan rubbed his fingers through his messy hair and then looked up into Hackett’s eyes. “Surfing? Really?”

“I’m not losing my husband while a bunch of jackasses try to save face.” Hackett crouched in front of him.  He rested one arm on his leg and his other hand came up to rest on the side of his neck.  He brushed their lips together then pressed his cheeks together.  He felt his stubble drag against Hackett’s beard. “I love you.  Jamieson was worried.  He thought you were slipping away like you did after Doyle.  And I’m not letting that happen to you. _No way in hell_.  I love you too damn much.”

“I love you. Thank you.” Dillan smiled what felt like his first real smile in…two months. “Will nakedness and licking be involved?”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Dillan spent the entire first day in Santa Cruz on the beach.  He’d picked out a secluded spot to sit and watch the waves rolling in to the shore.  He wanted to feel the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze coming off of the water. 

He was surprised that Hackett hadn’t pressed him for anything at all.  He had left Dillan to his own devices and stayed up at the hotel.  It had taken him the whole day to crawl out of the depressed hole that he’d fallen into while in the brig.

“You can sit beside me and stop hovering where you think I can’t see you.” Dillan didn’t look away from the ocean as he heard the approaching footsteps.

“There’s dinner at the hotel whenever you’re ready to head back.” Hackett sank down on the sand beside him.

Dillan leaned his head against Hackett’s shoulder.  His eyes still trained on the incoming tide.  He wasn’t sure if he was going to be _ready_ to head inside. The idea of being between four walls again didn’t sound all that enticing.

“Or…we can have sandwiches.” Hackett gestured behind him to an approaching man who looked like someone from the hotel staff who was carrying a basket.  “I thought you might want to stay outside a little longer.”

“You haven’t asked a single question.” Dillan caught the wrapped sandwich that his husband tossed at him.

“You’ve spent the last few months being asked questions.  I wanted to give you the choice on whether we talked about anything or nothing at all,” Hackett said casually.

_Typical._

He’d learned over the years that Hackett often made grand gestures.  The man never seemed to realize that he was making them.  It was just part of who he was.  He went out of his way to do things for others.

Setting his sandwich aside, Dillan launched himself at Hackett. He rolled them both over on the sand so that he stretched out on top of his husband.  He leaned down to crush his lips against Hackett’s as he ground their groins together.

“We are _not_ doing this in the afternoon on a public beach.” Hackett tried to push Dillan off of him.

“Oh?” He smirked down at his husband as he continued to move his body so that their cocks rubbed together through his board shorts and Hackett’s jeans.  The friction was enough that he watched Hackett’s eye glaze over.  “You’ll just have to be _very, very_ quiet, Steven.”

He silenced the argument that he knew was coming with another kiss.  His tongue darted between Hackett’s lips.  He could wash his shorts off in the water but he’d take great pleasure in knowing that his husband was about to have a very…telling…wet spot in his jeans.

They had to keep their movements as subtle as possible if he didn’t want to add a charge of public indecency what he already had on his record.   Dillan drove Hackett slowly over the edge.  His body slid up and down repeatedly.  His tongue explored Hackett’s mouth thoroughly. 

It was _his_ damn show.  Dillan took control of their rhythm.  He was surprised that Hackett hadn’t tried to take over but he shoved the thought from his mind.   He had a feeling that they were both moments away from the point of no return.

Hackett slid his hand around Dillan’s neck to pull him even closer.  His tongue began to duel with Dillan’s.  His other hand drifted down his back to grip Dillan by the ass firmly.   It was all that either of them needed to go over the edge.

With their moans smothered by a prolonged kiss, Hackett’s fingers squeezed and massaged him.  Dillan pressed his body harder into Hackett’s.  He could feel the wetness spreading on the man’s jeans. 

“You seem to have made a bit of a miss.” Dillan smirked at Hackett.

He rolled off of him and darted across the sand to head into the shockingly cold water.  He rinsed himself off and then wandered back up the beach to retrieve his towel.  Hackett still sat on the sand.  He was positioned so that the wetness around his groin wasn’t visible.

“We should walk back to the hotel.” Dillan’s lips quirked up into a crooked grin. “Unless there’s a reason that you don’t want to move?”

“You’re going to pay for that.” Hackett snatched the towel from Dillan to wrap it around his waist. His fingers gripped Dillan by the neck tightly as he started the walk back to the hotel.

If anyone thought it was strange that Admiral Hackett was walking towards the hotel in jeans and a t-shirt with a towel around him, they were smart enough not to say it out loud.  Dillan’s grin widened into a full smile and finally devolved into a laugh.  He had to stop halfway through the lobby because he was laughing so hard.

“Move.” Hackett dragged him the last few steps to an open elevator.

Dillan wandered into the shower once they arrived at their room.  He needed to get the sand off of his body before he started to itch.  He was turning slowly under the water when Hackett joined him. 

It only took a moment for Hackett to shove Dillan up against the shower wall.  His fingers gripped his hair tightly as his other hand drifted down to press between his cheeks to rub at his entrance.  His pressed a finger in and Dillan was surprised to find it had already been lubed up.

He didn’t get time to think about it further.  Hackett pulled his fingers out and pressed his cock into him.  Dillan grabbed at the shelf on the wall to keep his balance.  His husband had apparently spent the entire walk thinking very _hard_ about this.

The fingers in his hair tugged his head back.  Hackett leaned forward to lick and then suck on his neck.  He was practically pounding Dillan into the shower wall and he couldn’t do much but enjoy the ride.  

Given the fierceness of his movements, it wasn’t going to be a very long ride.  Hackett reached around him to stroke Dillan’s cock as he picked up the pace even more.   He hit Dillan’s prostate with a particular forceful thrust.

“Oh…god.” Dillan’s orgasm felt like was pulled from somewhere deep inside of him.  He splattered the wall in front of him with his cum.  He sensed the slight stutter in Hackett’s rhythm before he felt him climax as well. “I’ve missed you.”

Hackett chuckled as he pulled out of Dillan.  His fingers ran gently through his hair before drifting down his back.  He pressed his thumb into Dillan.  “I should leave you marked up like this for that stunt on the beach.”

“It’d look a little odd with me walking around with your thumb in my ass.” Dillan smirked at him.  “Though honestly, what are they going to do, throw me in the brig?”

_“Dillan.”_

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

Hackett wasn’t sure what had made the change for Dillan.  He didn’t know if it was his company or the ocean or maybe both.  By the end of the week in Santa Cruz, Dillan was himself again. 

The worn edges seemed to have been smoothed out.   He sat on the edge of their hotel bed watching Hackett as he packed up their clothes.  They were already a few hours late. The shuttle had been waiting outside all morning for them.

He couldn’t seem to make himself move faster.  He was afraid of seeing the light go out of his husband’s eyes again.   He looked up when strong hands pulled the shirt from him and tossed it haphazardly into the bag.

“Dillan?”

“I _will_ be fine, this time.” Dillan pushed Hackett down on the bed.  He pinned his arms over his head as he smirked down at his husband. “You have to head back to Arcturus.  You _have_ to get the fleets ready.  The reapers are coming.  I delayed them, I didn’t stop them.”

Letting go of one of Hackett’s arms, Dillan slid his hand between them to undo Hackett’s dress pants to his hand eased into them.  He began to firmly stroke his cock.  He rubbed his thumb around the head before pumping him.

Hackett tried to move but Dillan kept him pressed to the mattress.  He decided to let his husband take whatever he needed.  The memories might hold him over until they could see each other again.

The hungry kiss that Dillan planted on him took his damn breath away.  Their lips connected again and again before Dillan used his tongue to get a taste of Hackett.  His hand started to move faster.  

He decided to help matters along so he shifted his leg between their bodies.  Lifting it up, Hackett pressed his thigh against Dillan’s jean covered cock.   Dillan’s eyes darkened at the contact. 

“I need…”

“Yes?”  Hackett got his arm free and lifted his hand up to grip his husband by the back of the neck. 

His fingers massaged the tight muscles.  Hackett chuckled when Dillan went from aggressively dominating their interaction to as _docile_ as the man ever got.  His head dropped down to nuzzle his face against Hackett’s chest. 

The hand that had been pinning his arm to his side fell away.  Hackett hooked his leg around Dillan’s to flip them around so he was on top.  He paused to shove down his dress pants and do the same to Dillan.  He dragged his cock against Dillan’s.  They both breathed deeply at the contact.

“ _My husband._ ” Hackett kept his hand tightly on his husband’s neck as he rubbed their cocks together. “I’m going to make you clean up our mess when we’re done.”

He covered Dillan’s lips with his own as he picked up the pace.  Their pre-cum helped to slick their cocks.  They slid over each other.  Their moans were muffled in each other’s mouths. 

He dragged his blunt nails over Dillan’s nipples.  His husband bucked up against him.  They continued driving their bodies together.  He pinched and tugged the sensitive nubs.

Dillan brought his own hands up to run his fingers along Hackett’s back.  He twisted one of his nipples to get his attention back where Hackett wanted it.  Dillan arched up into the touch.

“Good boy.” Hackett murmured against his lips.

The words combined with a gentle scrap of his nail over an over-sensitive nipple.  Dillan cried out as he thrust up against Hackett’s cock.  He felt the warm cum spray across his own shaft and stomach. 

Falling back on the bed, Hackett used his hold on Dillan’s neck to push him down.  His husband smirked up at him.  He took his _sweet_ time in first cleaning up his own cum and then taking Hackett’s cock into his mouth.

He moved his other hand up to get a hold of Dillan’s hair.  He fucked his husband’s mouth until he was ready to fill it.  He told him to hold the cum in his mouth so he could pull Dillan up into a messy kiss.

“Dirty old man.” Dillan collapsed back on the bed with an exhausted but pleased smirk on his face.

“I’m going to miss you.” Hackett tugged Dillan over for another kiss.

“You still have to leave.” Dillan pushed up off of the bed to head into the bathroom to get a wet cloth to clean them both up. “Think they’ll give me time off for good behaviour?”

“Good behaviour?”

“Did I not just give you a spectacular blowjob? That has to count for something.” Dillan smirked at him.

"You are _exhaustingly_ obnoxious." Hackett stood up to get dressed. "Welcome back."


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

“Admiral Hackett?”

Hackett turned from the strategy session that he was in with Jamieson as a young Lieutenant rushed up to him with a datapad.  The officer’s hand trembled as he held it out to the Admiral.  He understood why when he read the report on the invasion.

 _Dillan_.

Realizing that he couldn’t do a damn thing for his husband was a painful thing.  Hackett focused his attention on the fleets.  Jamieson headed to the comm room to try to reach Hannah…and Dillan.  It was obvious to the Admiral within minutes that Earth would not be saved by just the Alliance.

_It simply wasn’t enough._

_He would fail…this once…when it mattered most_.

The next few hours were filled with calculated losses.  Hackett found himself at the forefront of a war that he couldn’t win, at the moment.  He needed time…he needed Dillan.   He ordered the fleets to abandon Earth and Arcturus.  He scattered them through safer systems.  He left the second fleet as a last line of defense on Earth.

_He left them to die in an effort to save everyone else._

* * *

_From: Steven_

_To: Dillan_

_Subj: Did you make it off Earth?_

_I can’t get through._

_The comms are sketchy at best._

_Let me know if you made it.  I’ve got Jamieson with me.  We’re with what’s left of the Fifth Fleet. Your mom is on another ship._

_Don’t make me wait._

_Love,_

_Steven_

* * *

“Commander?”

Dillan glanced up to find a young woman that he didn’t recognize. “Yes?”

“I’m Comm Specialist Samantha Traynor.  We received an incoming hail earlier while you were on Mars.” She followed him into the elevator as he headed down to the third deck to check on Alenko.  He’d been injured while they were helping Liara.

“From whom?”

“That’s the problem.  EDI and I have been unable to determine who it was from.  The comms just aren’t stable enough,” Traynor answered nervously.

Dillan patted her on the shoulder and gave her a grin. “Keep trying.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He hadn’t bothered to look at his terminal.  It wasn’t until Alenko was safely with the medics and on his way to Huerta Memorial that he had a moment to consider that he hadn’t heard from Hackett, Jamieson or his mother.  He knew that the two men had been on Arcturus the last time that he spoke with him.

Glancing over at the news reports that were being played in the docking bay, Dillan’s attention was glued to the screen.  _Arcturus had been hit first._ It was gone.  Anyone on the station would’ve been dead instantly.

“Loco?” Vega rushed forward to get a hand on him as he swayed on his feet for a moment. “You ok, Commander?”

“Fine.” Dillan dismissed the Lieutenant’s concern with a feigned smile.  He wouldn’t lose hope just yet.   “I’m fine.  I need to check on Alenko and see what the Council has to say.”

“If you say so,” Vega shrugged.

Once the Lieutenant was gone, Dillan turned his attention back to the ANN report.  He dragged his hands roughly through his hair.  His ring caught on it.  He yanked hard and winced when he pulled out a several strands to untangle his wedding band.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

He’d been the one to tell Hackett to go back to Arcturus.  He had also convinced Jamieson to follow. Had he all but killed his family? They listened to his advice.  It might’ve been better for them to all be on Earth with him.

With a calming breath, Dillan forced himself to stop spiraling out of control.  He wouldn’t be a help to anyone if he lost his cool when it wasn’t clear that they were gone.   If they were, it would just be yet another family lost to the invasion. He was alive and could at least exact revenge for them.

He snapped angrily at the reporter who threw questions at him as he started to move towards the nearby elevator.  He’d apologize to her later after she got settled on the _Normandy_.  He was making his way towards Bailey’s office when his omni-tool beeped.

There was a message from Hackett that had been sent several hours earlier.  The comms had obviously become more stable if the extranet was beginning to process messages.  His knees almost buckled for a second time as he realized that they were all safe.

Finding the nearby Spectre office empty, Dillan ducked inside to send a vid-chat request to Hackett. He desperately wanted visual confirmation that he was alive.  Not that he’d ever admit that to the man.  He paced agitatedly as the hail went unanswered for long minutes that seemed a lot more like hours.

_“Dillan.”_

“Looking good.” He smirked at his husband because he was afraid that he might completely embarrass himself if he didn’t keep things light. “You do look so very fuckable in uniform, Admiral.”

“I was worried about you too,” Hackett chuckled knowingly. “We weren’t sure if you’d made it off Earth. I tried to get through to the _Normandy._ ”

“Comms are screwed at the moment.” Dillan leaned against a nearby wall.  The little tiny vid-Hackett was his anchor in the currently swirling chaos that the invasion had created. “Are you…safe?”

“For the moment.”

“Stay that way,” he ordered.

“Are you giving out orders to Admirals now?” Hackett didn’t smile though.  He’d probably caught on to the undertone of worry in Dillan’s voice. “I’m organizing what’s left of the fleets.  I might be able to make it to the Citadel in a few days.”

“Good.” Dillan rubbed the back of his neck before grinning at him.  “I have a new bed in my quarters.  Wanna help me christen it?”

_“Dillan.”_

“Is that a yes or a no?” Dillan glanced up when the door slid open and one of Udina’s aids stepped inside looking for him. “Shit.  Time to go deal with the politicians.  You get your ass to the Citadel.”

He disconnected the chat before either of them could say ‘I love you.’  His feelings were running a little raw.  He couldn’t afford to show up at a meeting with the council with any sort of _chink_ in his emotional armor.

Dillan told himself that there’d be plenty of time for ‘ _l love you’_ later.  He tried not to consider the number of people on Earth who didn’t have that option any longer.  He didn’t really want to think about the fact that in all honesty he might not have much time to say it either.

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson, Mom_

_Subj: Safe._

_I’m sure Hackett will update you._

_But I made it off of Earth.  He told me that you were both…ok._

_I love you._

_Dillan_


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The _Normandy_ made the jump to the Apien Crest and then on to Menae to pick up the Primarch.  Victus turned out to be the sort of general and politician that Dillan preferred.  He set a course for the Widow system and went down to the third deck to catch up with Garrus.

He hadn’t heard anything from Hackett since his last message.  He tried to distract himself by swapping stories with Garrus.  Eventually, he gave up and went up to pace in the CIC until Traynor _politely_ asked him if he could stop marching behind her.

He was about to tell her that it was his _damn_ ship but Joker intervened to let him know that they were docking on the Citadel.  He’d find Traynor’s sigh of relief amusing later.  He needed to see if Hackett was waiting for him.

_He wasn’t._

After visiting with Alenko, Dillan tied up a few more loose ends so he could head back to the ship.  There wasn’t much of a point in waiting to pick up the rest of the diplomats since Hackett hadn’t made it to the Citadel yet.  He ordered Joker to tell the crew that shore-leave would be brief.

“A package was delivered to your quarters, Commander.” Traynor greeted him as he stepped up to his terminal.

“A package?”

Traynor nodded and went back to whatever she’d been working on. Dillan frowned at her before heading over to the elevator.  He found his husband sitting quietly on _his couch_ reading through a report.

Dillan gripped the railing by the aquarium for a moment as he stared down at Hackett.  He spun around and disappeared into the bathroom.  He leaned back against the sink with his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

_Why had he agreed to getting married?_

_Goddamn emotions._

He couldn’t deal with them.  He didn’t seem to have the capacity since Doyle.  He liked flirting and fucking.  It was love that had him distracted and worried, two things that he really couldn’t afford to be with the reaper threat imminent.

All Dillan wanted was…something that he wasn’t willing to admit to himself.  He also wasn’t a coward so he walked purposefully back into the room.  Hackett sat watching patiently on the couch still looking over his report.

“Take your uniform off.” Hackett spoke casually without glancing once in Dillan’s direction. “Leave the boxers.”

“Who says I’m wearing boxers?” Dillan smirked at his husband.

“Be good.”

_Ahh._

Hackett did look up when Dillan hadn’t moved.  There was concern evident in the serious eyes that met his.  Hackett raised an eyebrow at him.  Dillan winked at him and then tossed his shirt aside.  His cargo pants, socks and boots landed near the shirt. 

“Sit.” Hackett motioned for him to stretch out on the couch.

Dillan rolled his eyes before stepping over the coffee table to collapse on the sofa beside Hackett. He rolled over on his back with his head on Hackett’s thigh. He played with the waistband of his dark blue briefs. “I told you they weren’t boxers.”

“Hush.” Hackett tapped a finger against Dillan’s lips before reaching down to gently press the palm of his hand against the tattoo on Dillan’s chest. “I thought for several terrifying hours that I’d lost you.”

“Me?” Dillan closed his eyes to avoid Hackett’s scrutiny. “We flew the debris of the second fleet and the comms were completely destroyed.  I had…damn.”

Flipping himself around on his stomach, Dillan lifted himself up to drag Hackett underneath him on the couch.  He pressed him down into the couch.  He threw the datapad in Hackett’s hand aside.

He didn’t have the strength for finesse. He needed to feel that they were both safe and alive.  He made short work of removing Hackett’s dress uniform while ignoring his husband’s complaints about his complete disregard for it.  It landed in a pile on top of DIllan’s clothes.

He twisted them around again so Hackett was stretched out on top of Dillan’s body on his back.  His hand reached around to run his fingers along Hackett’s chest. He lifted his hips up to drag his cock across his ass.  Shifting down, he slid between his cheeks with ease. 

He tweaked one of Hackett’s nipples before sliding his thumb into Hackett’s mouth.  His tongue teased his husband’s ear while he brought his other hand down to stroke his cock.  He continued until he couldn’t take it any longer. 

Reaching over to grab lube, Dillan stroked his own cock before guiding two wet fingers into Hackett.  He shifted down a little, his slight height advantage providing the perfect angle to slide his cock where his fingers had been.    His arm wound around Hackett’s chest as he held them still when he’d bottomed out.

The ‘I love you’ just wouldn’t come for Dillan for once.  He translated the emotional rollercoaster that he’d been feeling into an erratic but hard pace.  For the first time in his sexual life, it simply wasn’t enough.  He collapsed back on the couch with Hackett still draped over him.

Hackett tilted his head to the right to brush his lips against Dillan’s jaw.  He carefully lifted himself up off of Dillan.   He gripped Dillan’s chin when he started to turn away to yank him back.  He clearly wanted his husband’s _full_ attention as he thrust his now lubed cock into him.

The slight burn was just what Dillan needed.  He damn near came just from the slow glide of Hackett’s cock into his ass.   It might have been related to the depth of love that evident in the eyes watching him.

He lifted himself up to meet Hackett’s thrusts. His arms wrapped around him to draw him even closer.  Hackett’s chest hairs dragged over Dillan’s.  Their kisses were slow while their movements were frenzied.

Dillan turned out not to need to even stroke his cock.  The friction of rubbing against Hackett’s abdomen was enough to have him spurting over both of their stomachs.  A few more feverish pumps were all it took for Hackett to join him.  He felt his warm cum and then even though he’d softened, Hackett stayed inside of him.

“I love you too.”

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

The next two weeks were enough to make Dillan wish that he’d stayed in the brig.  He’d gotten maybe three hours of sleep total and barely managed to get more than a damn power bar to eat.  He had somehow managed to get the genophage cure which in turn got the Krogan help that Palaven desperately needed.

_Not that it would really stop the Reapers._

Vid-comm debriefs had been the only contact that he’d had with his husband.    It was less than satisfactory.  Maybe if they were both naked.

_Not a bad idea._

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Shore-Leave._

_I think our next debrief should involve nudity, our nudity to be specific._

_It’d be interesting for everyone else.  The techs in the war room might appreciate the change of scenery._

_I’ve managed to cure the genophage, stop a coup and a reaper with a thresher maw.  I think I deserve a really good blow job.  Since you insisted that the Normandy needed dry-dock, are you going to join me at my new apartment?  I have several beds and a hot tub._

_I’ve got very sore muscles that need to be massaged…and one particular one between my legs that needs your tender loving care._

_Dillan_

* * *

Dillan yanked so hard that the bed cracked.  He was so lost in his panic attack that he failed to notice that he’d popped his shoulder out of socket in the process.  He cradled his arm as he turned furious eyes towards Hackett.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He knocked the marker out of his husband’s hands. “Did you…what…”

“You sent me a message, told me what you wanted to do tonight. You said that you wanted to face your demons.” Hackeett looked completely lost.

“I haven’t sent you any messages today; I’ve been too busy dealing with…” He trailed off as it dawned on him. “The clone messaged you, not me.”

“Oh.” Hackett started towards him.

“Get out.” Dillan was starting to feel the pain from his arm.  He sat on the floor, pulled his knee up and wrapped his arm around it to pull back until his shoulder popped back in.  “Get the hell away from me.”

_“Dillan.”_

He hopped up to his feet and rolled his shoulder a little to make sure it was fine.  It’d be sore but fine.  He stormed towards his husband.  Grabbing him by the front of his shirt, he lifted Hackett off of his feet and carried him out of the bedroom to shove him out the front door.  He let the door slide shut before he slammed his fist into it.

The hot tub seemed like a great idea to soothe his sore muscles including his heart.  He was soaking in the warm water when his door buzzed, then his omni-tool, then his terminal.  He ignored all of it. 

There were messages from Hackett, Jamieson, his mom and several members of his crew when he finally forced himself to get out of the hot tub.  The truth was that Dillan wasn’t angry at Hackett.  He’d…been afraid which he had channeled into anger.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Citadel_

_From: Dillan_

_To: Jamieson_

_D: What is so damn important that you sent me six messages?_

_J: Are you ok?_

_D: Wrinkled and sore._

_J: What?_

_D: Nothing._

_J: Your husband seems to believe that you’ve ended your relationship._

_D: Uhm. Hmm. No._

_J: What happened?_

_D: I think I need to talk to my husband about it._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

It seemed inevitable that Hackett was sitting on the back pew of the little Alliance chapel on the Citadel.  He didn’t even glance up when Dillan slid in next to him.  He reached over to take Hackett’s hand in his own.  His fingers playing with his husband’s wedding band.

“There really isn’t anything that I can say to make this better.” Hackett sounded like his heart was breaking though he looked stoically calm.

“I’m not sorry at all that my clone is dead.  I wish I’d kicked the jackass in the fucking head.” Dillan continued to play with Hackett’s ring. “So…about that whole massage idea.”

“ _Dillan_.”

“Hmm?” His lips quirked up into a crooked grin. “Problem?”

“I thought…”

“Yea, see, you should stop doing that.” He tugged lightly on his husband’s wedding band. “We should engage in _things_ that way you’ll have something to confess later on.”

“Dillan.”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“Of course, look at me. I mean, you’ve seen me naked.” Dillan gestured to himself. “Maybe I should’ve kept the clone, I’ve always wondered if I’m as good as I think I am in bed.”

_Still no smile from his husband._

_Hmm._

“What were you going to write on my body?” Dillan asked curiously.

The Admiral was quiet for a long while and Dillan didn’t do patient well.  He was about to reiterate the question when Hackett finally answered.  He quoted part of a poem, _‘How Do I Love Thee’ by Elizabeth Barrett Browning_.

 _How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

It was beautifully poetic in a way that Dillan didn’t think he could fully appreciate.  He released Hackett’s hand.  He couldn’t exactly _demonstrate_ what he was feeling in the back of the chapel.

_Well he could._

“No.”

“No?” Dillan gave Hackett an innocent grin.

“I am not fucking you in the back of the chapel.” Hackett reached out to wrap his fingers firmly around the back of Dillan’s neck. “Pretty sure the chaplain wouldn’t approve.”

“I’m pretty sure the chaplain will be a jealous bastard once he sees me without my uniform on.” Dillan tried not to simply collapse into the warmth of the hand on his neck.  They had a few things that they _needed_ to take care of first. “I’m glad that I married you even if you don’t lick my balls enough.”

A choked sound from the front of the chapel told them that the minister had made a reappearance.  Dillan leaned forward to smother his laughter against Hackett’s shoulder.   It turned into something different as Hackett slowly slid his other arm around him.

“ _I love you._ ” He brought his hands up to grip the front of Hackett’s shirt. “I really want to fuck you right now.”

“You’re shocking the chaplain.” Hackett sounded a lot less _broken_.

“Good.” He slid his hands up to hold Hackett’s head so he could brush his lips repeatedly against his.  He didn’t stop until he felt that he’d tasted his husband enough and shocked the chaplain into leaving the room. “We’re going home.”

“Oh?”

“You owe me a massage.” Dillan dragged him up off of the bench. “Unless you want to get arrested for public indecency.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

“Did you just…refer to my cock as Admiral Happy?” Hackett stared down at Dillan who was focusing his attention on _Admiral Happy._

“It’s certainly making me feel _joyful_.” Dillan pulled his mouth away to remark.

He let Hackett push him back and he hopped up to his feet.  They’d retreated back to the apartment after receiving an amused blessing from the chaplain.  They’d barely made it across the Citadel because Dillan felt the need to touch his husband at the most inappropriate moments.

Hackett had finally gripped him by the back of the neck.  It hadn’t exactly had the desire effect. It just made Dillan even hornier than he’d been before.  That’s how they’d ended up naked by the time that they’d gotten through the front door.

Insistent knocking had Dillan pulling back on his clothes as he wandered over to answer the door. He was surprised to find a visibly worried Garrus.  He’d apparently received a message over the QEC from Tali.  The situation on Rannoch was rapidly deteriorating as it seemed was the chance of Dillan getting any.

_Damn it._

He told himself to focus and then sent a message to Traynor to have the crew return to the _Normandy_. He promised Garrus that they’d leave to meet with the quarians within the hour.  He turned to give Hackett a regretful grin once the turian had gone.

“Admiral Happy appears to have lost a little of his _happy_ place.” Dillan headed up the stairs to the armor locker in the upstairs bedroom.

Hackett followed him and sat on the edge of the bed to watch as Dillan prepped his weapons. “I have to get back to the Crucible.  Keep me updated on the quarian problem.”

“Steven.”

“Yes?”

Dillan set his sniper rifle carefully down and moved across the room.  He lifted Hackett up so that he could pull him into a bone-crushing embrace.  His teeth tugged on Hackett’s bottom lip. “Stay safe. I love you.”

It took a tremendous amount of self-control that Dillan hadn’t known that he possessed to push way from his husband.  He changed into his armor and holstered his weapons.  He’d moved them to the apartment while dealing with the clone and needed to take them back to the armory on the ship.

His husband wisely decided to let him head to the docking bay on his own.  Dillan could honestly say that he was tired of the war interfering with his sex life.  If it wasn’t clones, it was quarians stupidly getting themselves in an unnecessary fight with the geth.

In another time and place, Dillan might’ve found walking across the damaged docking tube to get across to the geth dreadnought to be a great fucking adventure.  He couldn’t wait to tell some of his Team Delta buddies about it.  At the moment though, all it did was remind him of what happened the last time that he had needed to use his mag boots.

Joker’s voice in his ear asking if he was alright wasn’t exactly helping either.  It brought back the panicked screams that he’d heard before the explosion sent him flying into space. Then the damn tube fell out from under him and he thought that his heart was going to stop.

He got himself inside the geth ship and over to the next docking tube to let the others in.  As he waited for the _Normandy_ to reposition itself, he sent a quick message to Hackett.  It was a simple three word message, he just wanted to make sure that he’d said ‘ _l love you_ ’ if this ended badly.

When Dillan finally got back to the _Normandy_ , he made sure to express his displeasure with the quarians with a fist to the side of Gerrel.  Garrus had to pull him back when he went to knee the bastard in the head…well helmet.  He ordered the admiral off of his ship and then went straight up to his quarters to cool off.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Tikkun System_

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steven_

_D: So uhm…there might be a complaint from the quarian admiralty._

_S: Might?_

_D: I’d like to point out that they did try to blow me up while I was doing them a favor._

_S: What kind of complaint?_

_D: I’ll just wait to see if they actually make one before telling you._

_S: Dillan._

_D: Yes?_

_S: Why did you send me a message saying that you love me?  I know you do, and I love you.  But…this didn’t feel like that simple of a thing. What happened today?_

_D: I was up close and personal with a broken docking tube.  I didn’t want my last words to you to be Admiral Happy._

_S: They’d be memorable._

_D: True._

_S: Jamieson wanted me to let you know that Team Delta was able to rescue the Cerberus scientists on Gellix.  Thought it might save you a trip._

_D: Aww you do care, you’re not just making me your errand boy._

_S: Dillan._

_D: Steven._

_S: Are we really ok?_

_D: Ok?  We’re fucking great. We should get vid the next time that we’re in bed so you have no doubts how amazing we are._

_S: Not what I meant._

_D: Yes, we are._

_S: Good._

_D: Oh, gotta go, the quarians did something stupid again. Love you, old man._

_User has disconnected._

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace & MissMeggo
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

With the total failure on Thessia, Dillan had become a driven man.  He hadn’t stopped to take a breath since leaving the Asari home world to fall to the reapers.  He didn’t like failing.  He’d spent the next few days wrapping up every single mission that Hackett had given him.

He didn’t want the Admiral to complain when he headed to Horizon. His husband had already expressed his _concerns_ regarding wasting time at Sanctuary.  He wouldn’t be wasting time if every other mission had been taken care of.

He could hear the little voice in the back of his head that always sounded suspiciously like his father.  _The bastard._ He tried to remind himself that like Anderson said, he needed to shake this off.  He couldn’t afford to let one lost battle cause him to give up on the war.

Garrus and Cortez tried to get him to take a break before they headed to shore-leave.  They were both concerned about him, and the crew for that matter.  Dillan wasn’t interested.  He _had_ to make it right.

_‘Shepard’s don’t lose.’_

_‘Are you a loser, boy?’_

It was _definitely_ his dad’s voice.  Shaking his head to clear it, he wandered over to his terminal to send a quick message to Jamieson.  He always seemed able to chase away the ghost of his father. As always, he knew what to say to help Dillan clear his head.

His entire squad demanded a break when they finished on Horizon.  Dillan couldn’t quite blame them.  He ordered Joker to head for the Citadel.  They could take shore-leave for a day or two before going after Cerberus.

Dillan hadn’t thought it possible for the Illusive Man to sink any lower. Turning innocent refugees into husks, it was definitely a new level of fucked up.  Garrus, who had seen the Collector Base, had been as sick about it as he was, as everyone on the crew was.

* * *

_From: Dillan_

_To: Steve_

_Subj: Shore-Leave._

_We’re taking a day on the Citadel before we hit Cerberus._

_I have unlicked balls that you should come take care of._

_Dillan_

* * *

The lack of response from his husband was slightly worrying but they were in the middle of a war.  Dillan had reached his limit of waiting so he found Garrus and Vega playing poker.  It didn’t take much to convince them to join him in trying to get the top score in the Arena.

Three hours later, Dillan sat exhausted on the bench in the locker room.  He’d pulled off his armor and been in the process of removing his shirt when his body decided that he needed a moment.  He sat in just his fatigue trousers.  His elbows resting on his knees with his head bent forward.  A towel draped over his head.

“Dillan?”

He didn’t bother lifting his head, even when the damp towel was pulled off of him.  Hackett knelt in front of him.  He gripped Dillan’s chin firmly, forcing him to look up.

“What do you _need?”_ Hackett asked pointedly.

“A shower.” Dillan’s lips quirked up a little. “Want to _lick_ me clean?”

 _“Dillan._ ”

“What do I need?” Dillan repeated the question. 

He stood up to make his way into one of the shower stalls.  He tossed his trousers and boxers onto the pile of his clothes and armor.  He reached over to turn on the water full blast.

With the palms of his hands resting against the wall, Dillan bent forward to let the water pound against his back.   He heard Hackett’s steps as his husband moved into the stall with him.  Strong fingers traced along the large tattoo on his back before turning him around.  He tilted his head so the water obscured his vision.

The fingers on his side moved up to grip the back of his neck and tug him forward. Dillan shook his head to get rid of the water and opened his eyes to find concerned blue ones watching him intently.  Maybe they did need to have a conversation, but he wasn’t ready to have it just yet.

Dropping to his knees, Dillan took Hackett firmly by the hips and pushed him back against the wall of the shower stall.  He held him there while he focused his attention on his husband’s cock.  He started with casual licks that did nothing but make Hackett try to reach for him.

With Hackett’s wrists firmly held in his hands, Dillan bent his head down so that he could easily take the hard shaft into his mouth.  He alternated between hard sucking and gentle licking.  His husband kept trying to control the speed and pull his hands free.

Normally, Dillan would’ve let him take over.  He just wasn’t in the mood.  He wanted something that he had total control of for once.  Hackett must’ve sensed it somehow because he stopped trying to takeover and let Dillan do what he wanted.

He had to finish him up quickly considering the fact that they were in a relatively open shower stall.  He released Hackett’s arms moments before his husband was about to cum.  Hackett gripped the top of his head and shoved his cock deeply into Dillan’s throat as he orgasmed.

Dillan got up off of his knees and stepped backwards into the shower to rinse off.  He grabbed a clean towel and headed into the locker as he dried himself off.   He was buckling up the last bit of his armor when Hackett joined him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Do we _usually_ talk about blowjobs when they’re finished? Does Admiral Happy need a _play-by-play_ of it?” Dillan started for the door. “I’ll see you in Anadius.”

“Dillan.”


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a two chapter day. I couldn't help myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace & MissMeggo
> 
> As always, I am open to smut prompts. lol

_Goodbyes were the worst._

Dillan hated saying goodbye.  The return to Earth had felt like one long farewell.  He’d spoken to every member of his crew, including former squad members over the comm in the FOB.  They’d barely made it to through the gauntlet of reapers.

He’d been relieved to find that Cortez had managed to escape the crashed shuttle.  Vega was probably going to tease the poor pilot mercilessly once the battle was over.  He leaned back against the wall to listen to Wrex’s final speech to the gathered Krogan.

The one person that he wanted to see was stuck with the fleets somewhere out of reach.  They’d had a few moments together once he had destroyed the Cronos station but it had been not enough.  He’d barely gotten a kiss from his husband before Hackett had to head back to his own ship.

He opened his eyes when someone shoved him on the shoulder to find Jamieson standing in front of him.  He frowned at the man who he’d thought to be on the same ship as his mother.  Before he could ask him what the hell he was doing on Earth, Anderson called both of them into a last minute discussion of the plan.

Once Anderson had finalized the battle plan, Dillan pulled Vega aside.  He told the Lieutenant to shadow Jamieson.  The Admiral could handle himself in battle, but he was the closest thing to a father that Dillan had ever had…he trusted Vega to see him safely through the night.

With that taken care of, Dillan decided to bring Garrus and Javak with him.  The others would join several of the other ground teams that were headed for the beam.  He had a message from Hackett but there wasn’t time to read or respond to it.  It was time for him to do what he did best, _fight._

The next few hours were like whirlwind of dodging reapers and their hordes of creatures while trying to get to the damn beam.  During the last push, Garrus took a serious blow from a mako that had been tossed like a toy by Harbinger.  He told Javak to get the turian to the _Normandy._

He couldn’t look his friend in the eye as he got them safely to the ship.  He didn’t think that he was going to make it out of this fight.  _How could he?_ But he really wanted to make sure that everyone that he cared about had a fighting chance.

* * *

_From: Hannah_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: Anything?_

_Nothing yet._

_I haven’t heard from Jamieson or Dillan._

_Where are my men?_

_Hannah_

* * *

Hackett didn’t get a chance to respond to Admiral Shepard’s question.  He was too focused on listening to the snippets of conversation that they were getting over the comms.  For a brief moment, Dillan’s voice was loud and clear before the damn thing went fuzzy again.

The minutes seemed to stretch into agonizingly long hours.  The Citadel arms finally opened and the Crucible was able to be flown into it.  When the thing started to fire up, Hackett ordered the fleets out of Sol.  He tried to keep a close lid on his emotions and not think about the fact that he hadn’t really gotten to say good-bye or ‘ _I love you’_ to his husband.

_Damn war._

By the time that it was safe for the fleets to head back into Sol, the crew of the _Normandy_ that had stayed on Earth along with Team Delta and Admiral Jamieson had commandeered a shuttle and made their way to the Citadel.  They were hunting through the damaged Citadel trying to find Dillan.

Admiral Hackett should technically have been focusing his efforts on getting the survivors organized.  He’d said to hell with that and told his pilot to dock on the Citadel.  He wouldn’t be able to focus on anything until he’d found his husband.

_Hopefully._

_Alive._

It was Jamieson that finally found Dillan.  He was buried under a pile of beams and ceiling tiles.  It took the entire group of marines an hour to pull him out of the debris.  The Commander wasn’t moving and appeared to be barely breathing.

They moved him as carefully as possible to more stable ground to wait for medics to bring a stretcher.  He followed close behind as they took him to Huerta which had suffered, thankfully, minimal damage during the attack.  He pulled Doctor Chakwas off the _Normandy_ the moment that it arrived to help take care of Dillan.

Hackett hadn’t thought it possible to run the Alliance from a chair in a hospital but that’s what he did for the next three weeks.  Dillan had been placed in a forced coma to allow his body to heal.  The blast from the Crucible had damaged some of the Cerberus cybernetics and without the original doctors; they were having trouble fixing it.

Doctor T’soni had managed to find a salarian doctor who had experience with similar cybernetics.  He’d been brought in to assist.    Progress had been made since, but not enough that they could risk waking the Commander.

_Would they ever be able to wake him?_

It was the question that had been haunting Hackett for days.  He’d let Jamieson drag him out of the hospital for a few hours, to shower and get some rest.  Hannah sat with her son while he was gone.

He didn’t want to leave Dillan alone.  It was foolish, considering the fact that he was in a busy hospital that teamed with activity.  He just remembered what Dillan had said about waking up on the Lazarus station alone and he didn’t want that to happen to him again.

_What if he lost him again?_

_Not again._

Hackett didn’t think he could bear to stand over Dillan’s grave for a second time.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. *sad face*
> 
> I hope everyone has enjoyed this. I'm going to miss Dillan. But I still have multiple stories going at the moment lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace & MissMeggo

Another week passed by and Dillan hadn’t really improved much.  Hackett stood in the hospital room and looked out across the Presidium.  In four weeks, they’d made impressive strides in rebuilding the Citadel as well as Earth.  He rested one hand on the glass as he bent forward.  His other hand rubbed the back of his neck absently until the motion reminded him to much of the man in the bed. 

The doctors had done everything that they could for Dillan.  The only thing that they could do now was to wait to see if he awoke from the induced coma.  It had been three days of hoping with nothing to show for it. 

“So on a scale of one to ten, how lickable _are_ my balls?”

The hoarse, cracked voice might possible have been the most beautiful thing that Hackett had ever heard. He glanced over his shoulder to find blue eyes darker than his own watching him.  Dillan gave him a crooked grin as he tried to sit up in the bed.

“Take it easy.” Hackett rushed over to help him.  He pulled the pillow up so he’d have something to lean on. “I need to call the doctors.”

“Why do I always wake up in hospitals?” Dillan glanced down at his hands. “Where’s my ring?”

“It apparently melted off with your armor and fatigues.” Hackett answered after he’d sent a message to Chakwas.

“Does that mean I’m single?” He winced as he tried to sit up further in the bed. 

“ _No_.”

“And my balls?”

“ _Dillan._ ”

“Oh good, I’m definitely really awake.  I couldn’t dream that particular tone of voice of yours.” Dillan reached out to take Hackett’s hand in his own. “Happy to see me?”

“Ecstatic.” Hackett rolled his eyes at his insufferable husband. “I love you.”

“Me too.” Dillan winced in pain again. “And you, I love you too.”

He filled his husband in on everything that had happened after the Crucible fired.  It helped to distract Dillan as the doctors poked and prodded him.  He still managed to grumble at them, though he was less _caustic_ with Chakwas.

She told him to _take it easy_ and gave Hackett a warning glance before they left the two of them alone.  It turned out to be an unnecessary warning.  Though he’d just woken up, Dillan sank back on the bed looking completely exhausted.  He was asleep before Hackett could get in another word.

* * *

_From: Admiral Hackett_

_To: Multiple Recipients._

_Subj: Commander Shepard._

_He’s awake._

_I thought you’d all appreciate an update. The doctors inform me that he’ll likely fully recover.  They’re not sure on the specific timeline.  I’ve decided that a hospital on the Citadel is not the best place for Dillan to recover._

_We’re going to move him to a house on the beach in Maui.  The island surprisingly suffered little damage during the war.  Two of his doctors will stay for the first few weeks, but I think he’ll do better near the ocean._

_You’re  welcome to visit, though maybe not all at the same time._

_I’ll keep you updated._

_Hackett_

* * *

The first week there, Dillan had insisted on walking down the beach himself.  He’d ended up with a face full of sand and a prickly attitude to go with it.  He had let Hackett help him the next time though. 

“How many died?” Dillan was stretched out on a lounger with his eyes closed enjoying the sun and the sound of the surf hitting the shore.

“I don’t have the numbers,” Hackett said soberly. “Too many.”

“Steven?” Dillan opened his eyes after a prolonged silence to look over at his husband. “I’m done.”

“With?”

“The Alliance.” He dug his fingers into the sand. “I’ve been thinking about staying here on Maui.  We could get our own place unless your friend wants to sell this one to us.  I might…start up a surfing school once I’m fully recovered. I don’t…I don’t think I want to hold a gun again, not for a long while.”

“You’re retiring?”

“I think I earned it.” Dillan sat up slowly. It still hurt most days when he made sudden movements.  He shifted around on the lounger so he was facing Hackett. “I did what was asked of me.  I think I deserve peace and quiet and sex, lots of sex.”

“In which order?” Hackett reached out to cuff him lightly on the back of the head.

“Stop beating the invalid. I’ll tell the doc.” Dillan captured his hand and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. “What do you think?”

“Sounds perfect.” Hackett smiled at him. “I love you.”

“Of course you do.” Dillan released his hand and shifted back into a more comfortable position. “I’m the sexiest broken man that you’ll ever see.”

“Not broken.”

“Temporarily damaged.”

“ _Dillan._ ”

“Suck my dick.” Dillan flicked sand at him. “No really, do it. I don’t care what the doc said.”

“Why did I miss you being awake again?” Hackett teased him.

“I love you too.”

“Of course you do.” Hackett flicked sand back at him. “Who else would drag you down to the beach every day?”

“There’s that one really hot Major that offered to help me the other day.” Dillan turned his head to wink at his husband. “I don’t know why you threatened to court-martial him.”

“ _Dillan._ ”

“Shh.  I’m trying to enjoy the peace and quiet.” Dillan laughed when he was cuffed on the head again. “Careful, I only have a few brain cells left. I need all of them.”

He closed his eyes and shifted slightly on the chair.  His mother and Jamieson were planning on visiting them the following week.  The _Normandy_ would be stopping by the week after that so he could see the crew.  Alenko had command of the ship for the moment.  It was scheduled to head back out to drop off the alien crew on their respective home-worlds.  It would be good to see everyone once before they left.

He yawned loudly and let the sound of the waves start to lull him to sleep. For now, he figured this was perfect.  No battles, no politicians, nothing but the ocean and the man that he loved.  Retirement might just be the best thing ever.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace & MissMeggo

“You should take my son home.” Hannah stepped over to offer her congratulations to Hackett on his retirement. “He’s starting to get edgy.”

It had been four years since the end of the Reaper War. Hackett had grown tired of being forced to spend so much time apart from Dillan in order to deal with Alliance issues. His husband refused to leave his ocean behind to deal with the Council or the Alliance. They’d gotten enough from him so he stayed home while the Admiral flew back and forth.

Dillan felt happiest with his toes in the sand or out on a board riding a wave. It seemed as if hewn the war ended, his husband decided he wanted to forget he’d ever been a marine. He hadn’t even fired a weapon since fighting in the final battle.

“ _Your son_. Is having a drinking contest with Commander Vega and Captain Cortez.” Jamieson looked way too pleased with himself. “Good luck getting him home.”

“Your husband is a bastard.” Hackett resisted the urge to toss his whiskey at the laughing couple. “It’s a damn good thing he’s worth all this trouble.”

He searched the entire venue for his husband without any success. Vega suggested he look outside. _Outside?_ To his great surprise, he found Dillan leaning casually against their Kodiak with his jacket slung over his shoulder. He didn’t appear to be inebriated in the least.

_Lying bastards._

“We’re leaving.” Dillan grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved inside. “Enough dealing with the lying idiots.”

Someone had obviously done something to piss Dillan off. His husband flew the shuttle home without saying a word. He ignored Hackett and focused on the hour long journey back to their beach cottage. It was in the late in the evening in the middle of a torrential downpour when they finally arrived.

“Get in the damn house, Dillan.” Hackett tried to corral him into the cottage before they were both soaked to the skin. He found himself pressed back against the door under the awning. _“Dillan.”_

Tossing his jacket onto the bench that ran along one of the front walls to the cottage, Dillan stood with his hands in his pockets for a few minutes as rain soaked through his crisp white dress shirt. He reached up to slowly undo the first button of his shirt after casually pulling his tie over his head and discarding it.   By the time he’d undone all of the buttons, the fabric was completely see-through. He turned to the side to give Hackett a better view of his taut muscles glistening moonlight with streams of water running down his skin.

_Well, hell._

His fingers drifted down his abdomen until Dillan hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers. He moved them around until they reached the clasp to undo button and slide the zipper down. He twisted around to bend over slightly as he peeled the drenched fabric off. He did a slow, sensuous revolution in nothing but his dark brown briefs.

Cupping his erection in his hand, Dillan teased Hackett who was sorely testing his willpower. He wanted to drag his husband inside the house and toss him down on the bed. The desire was countered by the fact he was definitely enjoying the show being put on for him.

With a smirk on his face, Dillan removed his briefs and flung them at Hackett. He stroked himself standing in the middle of a monsoon. His eyes stayed on Hackett while he toyed with his cock.

Moving over to sit on the bench, Hackett got comfortable to fully enjoy the tease. Dillan grinned wickedly at him. He sauntered forward until he was standing in front of his husband. His cock bumped against Hackett’s chin while water dripped from his body onto Hackett’s suit.

“ _Lick me._ ”

“How about we go inside?” Hackett started to stand up only to find himself pushed back down.

Since it was always wise to give into the inevitable, Hackett teased the tip of Dillan’s shaft with his tongue. A hand rested on the back of his head to push him forward. Clearly teasing wasn’t what his husband had in mind, he opened his mouth to indulge him. Almost immediately, he found Dillan setting up a rough, hard pace.

“No more damn events.” Dillan’s voice broke with a hoarse whisper when he finally _finished_ with his husband’s mouth.

“Get inside.” Hackett reached around to smack his husband hard on the ass. “It’s my turn.”

“Promises, promises.”

Three days later, Hackett was pushing back from his terminal with a sigh. He finished reading the report from Admiral Jamieson’s special operations unit. The Admiral had been missing for two days. Hannah initially asked him to not tell Dillan. He disagreed with the decision, but respected her wishes. He thought perhaps, several days in, it wasn’t likely he would be pleased with either of them for keeping him in the dark.

Her reasoning for not telling her son was mostly revolved around the fact that Dillan had been retired for two years. He had almost completely recovered from the grave injuries he received at the end of the war. Hannah didn’t want to risk Dillan deciding to come out of retirement to look for Jamieson.

With another tired, deeper sigh, Hackett made his way into the kitchen to talk with his husband. Dillan stood in front of the stove in nothing but dark blue boxers. He was frying up some sort of omelet for the two of them for breakfast. Hackett leaned against the counter of the island in the middle of their kitchen to watch.

“Have you finally decided to tell me about my missing father?” Dillan flipped the omelet in the pan with a casual grace. “Or are you just staring at my ass?”

“Dillan…”

“Don’t.” Dillan grabbed a pinch of sea salt to sprinkle over the omelet. “Did you honestly think the unit I served in wouldn’t message me the instant they knew something went wrong?”

“Yes.”

“We protect our own, Steven. Didn’t Jamieson tell you that?” Dillan set the pan down and gripped the edge of the stove as he bent forward. “I am not fucking fragile. We broke the bed last week for fuck’s sake. How much more evidence do you need that I am physically capable of handling myself?”

“It’s not the physical damage to your body I was worried about.”

“There will be no fucking licking of my balls until you learn I’m not going to break physically or mentally.” Dillan grabbed the pan and tossed it into the sink, food and all. “You can make your own damn breakfast.”

“Dillan.”

“No, stop.” He held his hand up when Hackett reached for him. “It’s been years. Four years. How…can you honestly believe that I’m still…damn it, Steven.”

“How? Maybe it’s because I’m the one holding you in the middle of the night when you wake up screaming.” Hackett knew Dillan had been trying to avoid this conversation for months. “Dillan?”

“Team Delta will be picking me up in an hour.” His blue eyes met Hackett’s. “We’re going to find Jamieson.”

“I can…”

“You’re retired, just like me. Stop all the damn coddling,” Dillan snapped at his husband. He stormed past him, but stopped with his hand wrapped around the doorframe. He glanced over his shoulder at Hackett. “How the hell did you think this was going to go when I found out?”

“Not well,” Hackett admitted.

“Well, you were right.”

* * *

 

_From: Hannah Shepard_

_To: Dillan Shepard_

_Subj: Husbands._

_Don’t be so hard on your husband. I asked him not to tell you. I didn’t want to worry you. I assumed we would hear something from my husband before it became necessary to tell you._

_Bring him home for me, son._

_But bring yourself home as well._

_Love you,_

_Mom_

* * *

 

_From: Dillan Shepard_

_To: Hannah Shepard_

_Subj: re: Husbands._

_I love you, Mom._

_But I really need you to stop interfering in my relationship with my husband._

_I’ll bring Jamieson and myself home._

_Dillan_

* * *

 

Standing at the foot of the bed, Dillan spread out his armor and weapons. He hadn’t used any of it since the war, though he made sure to keep his rifles cleaned and oiled. He massaged his forehead for a moment while considering his options.

“Dillan?”

He set down the rifle in his hand and turned towards his husband. “If you’re going to apologize, I demand licking be involved.”

“Licking?”

He quirked his lips up into a crooked smile and watched Hackett move from the doorway toward him. “I believe we solve everything by you licking part of my body, particularly _my balls_.”

Hackett covered the paw tattoo on Dillan’s chest with his hand. “Perhaps I have a better gift for you?”

“Better than you between my legs?”

“The _Normandy will be docked_ at the sky-port across the island in a few hours.” Hackett’s fingers drifted down from Dillan’s tattoo along his abdomen. “There’s plenty of room in the Captain’s Quarters for both of us.”

Dillan slid his fingers through Hackett’s short grey hair then applied pressure to slowly ease his husband down onto his knees. He drove his hips forward so his boxer covered cock bumped against Hackett’s nose. “Who says you’re invited?”

Hackett stood up and firmly eased Dillan back. “We have an hour to pack before we need to leave.”

“Steven.”

“Licking can wait.”

Dillan ran his fingers along bulge in his boxers. “Wait? _Wait?_ Why did I marry you?”

“Love.”

I’d _love_ to…”

“Pack.” Hackett gestured towards the gear strewn across the bed. “We’ll deal with your fixations later.”


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace & MissMeggo

_From: Hannah Shepard_

_To: Dillan Shepard_

_Subj: re: My Husband._

_He’s back home._

_Did your little ‘plan’ work?_

_I still think you should try talking to your husband instead of tricking him._

_Though, my husband informs me that he thoroughly enjoyed himself._

_Love you,_

_Mom_

* * *

 

“Where…” Hackett spun around in confusion when he followed Dillan off of the ship to find they’d docked in Buenos Aires which was not Jamieson’s last known location. “What the hell is going on? Admiral Jamieson…”

“Jamieson is home safely, probably driving my mom insane as we speak. He busted his leg up, stupid old man, while crashing his shuttle. He’ll be fine.” Dillan slung his arm across Hackett’s shoulders. “I think you owe me a real vacation.”

“A vacation?”

“And a date, a fancy one.” Dillan slid his hand into the collar of Hackett’s uniform to reach down to tweak the man’s nipple. “It’s our anniversary in a few days.”

“You…” Hackett grabbed the hand in his shirt to stop his teasing. “Did you manufacture an incident with your step-father to trick me into an Alliance chauffeured vacation?”

Dillan’s lips quirked up into a grin while he pondered the question. “Maybe. Is that a problem?”

“Dillan.”

His husband ignored his annoyed tone and gestured toward a nearby street vendor making bondiolas. “Be a good husband and _fetch_ me one.”

Hackett squashed his first response as he focused instead on the emphasis that had been put on the word fetch. “We haven’t played in a long time.”

Dillan shrugged indifferently.”

With a slow smile, Hackett brought his hand up and slowly caressed the back of Dillan’s neck. The younger man grumbled under his breath, but eventually settled into his touch. Hackett watched the lines of stress start to fade way. The manic energy which seemed to hover just under the surface evaporated as well.

“My good boy.”

“Missed you.”

All the years they’d been together, Hackett was still amazed at the lengths Dillan would go to in order to avoid expressing his deepest emotions and desires while still getting what he wanted. He wondered if Jamieson had even been injured at all. Hackett had been very busying leading up to his retirement. It wouldn’t be unlike Dillan to convince the man and the rest of his brothers at Team Delta to help him plan something like this.

“Why didn’t you tell me? We still have the blanket somewhere.” Hackett refused to be distracted from having the more serious side of this conversation. “Dillan?”

“I tried.”

Frowning at his husband, Hackett considered the simple statement. In Dillan-speak, ‘I tried’ could mean just about anything. His version of trying didn’t necessarily mean he’d actually said something about what he was wanting. It was one of the most frustrating things about the man.

“Did you actually try or simply point at your tattoo when you thought I was looking?” Hackett raised an eyebrow when Dillan shrugged again. “At the risk of sounding like Hannah, sometimes you have to use your words.”

Dillan barked out a laugh then grabbed Hackett by the arm to drag him over to the street vendor. “Hungry?”

“No.”

Leading him away from the crowded streets, Hackett made Dillan direct them to the hotel where they’d be staying for the week. He wasn’t surprised to find their luggage already there. He pushed Dillan down onto the bed and pinned him down with his hands around his wrists, still fully clothed.

“I’m your husband.” Hackett refused to go any further before Dillan really understood. “You can tell me what you want . I am not going to judge you for it. I’m not going to humiliate you. Just ask.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yep.” Dillan smirked up at him. He wiggled a little underneath Hackett. “Lick my balls.”

“Dillan.”

“You said to ask for what I want.”

 

 

 


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter, again, for now.
> 
> Sometimes Dillan decides he's done sharing his life, this last chapter was a struggle, not my best, I might come back to this again at some point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta:CelticGrace & MissMeggo

Brushing the shoulders of his white jacket off, Dillan pulled the hem of his tan t-shirt out from his faded jeans. He glanced back to find Hackett leaning on the bed watching him carefully. The two men hadn’t spoken much since Dillan had woken up screaming in the middle of the night. He’d refused to explain what he’d been dreaming about.

“Dillan?”

He shook his head at his husband. “Jamieson’s meeting me for breakfast. I’ll be back.”

Hackett frowned at him, but shrugged in defeat. “I wish you’d talk to me about things like this.”

“I know.” Dillan focused his attention on lacing up his scuffed up boots. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Dillan left the hotel room in a rush. The nightmare was still so vivid in his mind that he was having trouble telling reality from fantasy. He felt as if he were going to break out in a sweat just thinking about it. He strode purposefully through the streets until he reached the restaurant where Jamieson was waiting for him.

“It’s been a long damn time since you messaged me in the middle of the night asking for help.” His pseudo-father stood up to pull him into strong embrace. “What happened?”

“An incredibly vivid and graphic dream about Steven…” Dillan swore under his breath and chugged down the coffee in front of him. He ignored the tinge of pain from the heat of the liquid. “I wish you hadn’t told me about the death threats.”

“Would you prefer I have someone tailing you two?” Jamieson raised an eyebrow at him.

“No.”

“We’ll figure out who the hell is threatening your husband.” He handed him a cup of cold juice. “You use your damn mouth to much to burn it.”

“You are a massive ass.” Dillan choked on the juice as he laughed.

“So I’ve been told.”

“I can’t lose him.” Dillan slammed the glass down hard enough the juice sloshed over the rim onto the table. “I _won’t_ lose him.”

Their conversation was interrupted a moment later when Jamieson received a message from one of the marines he’d assigned to watch the hotel room. It seemed whoever was behind the threat had waited for Dillan to be gone to attack. He stormed out of the restaurant without even waiting for Jamieson.

Running the several blocks to their hotel room, Dillan arrived in the doorway a little out of breath. He stopped short inside the room when he spotted his husband sitting on the edge of the bed with a pistol in his hand. Hackett was talking to two marines while a third secured a batarian on the floor.

Hackett turned bemused eyes toward Dillan. “Did you neglect to mention something before running away to talk to Jamieson about your nightmare?”

“I…”

“Go easy on him, Steven.” Jamieson reached down to lift the batarian off of the ground. “He’s a smug shit, but he’s better than you deserve.”

“Out.” Dillan pointed toward the door while he tried very hard not to laugh.

“He’s an ungrateful shit too.” Jamieson laughed before corralling both the _assassin_ and the three marines out of the hotel room.

“Did you not think I could handle this?” Hackett asked once they were alone.

Dillan leaned against the dresser in the room. “They only threatened you because of our relationship.”

“And?”

With a shrug, Dillan tried to explain how he’d been dealing with similar threats since the end of the war. He’d kept them from everyone, but Jamieson and Team Delta. It had seemed the wisest course of action at the time. He intended to tell Hackett about it eventually, things just happened sooner than anticipated.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Dillan?” Hackett pressed for more of a response.

“I…” Dillan scrubbed his face with his fingers. “You were just about to retire; I’d finally have you all to myself. I didn’t want to risk you deciding you needed postpone.”

“ _Dillan.”_

His lips involuntarily quirked up into a grin at the tone in his husband’s voice. “Would nudity help my attempt at an apology?”

“Actually apologizing would help your attempt at an apology.”

“Ahh, yes,” Dillan sighed dramatically. “Sorry.”

“That’s all I get?”

“Well, if you take off your clothes, I’ll lick my way back into your heart.” Dillan’s grin widened.

 

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note.

If anyone is interested, I've started an AU story for Dillan called:[ Against the Tide](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3764017/chapters/8359816).


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Note.

After some inspiration from Tumblr, I've decided to do a dark!Dillan story.  It's going to be a story where Dillan is his highly sexual self, but completely amoral and with zero interest in relationships.  It's also going to be an AU of ME.

Find it here:

[The Art of Seduction](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6903901/chapters/15751366)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Against the Tide](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3764017) by [Pixelatrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix)




End file.
